tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15705251137589952362024-03-18T03:03:51.846+00:00Alphabetti SpaghettiThe random ramblings of Johnny WalkerJohnny Walkerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13302545167970532080noreply@blogger.comBlogger67125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1570525113758995236.post-75001511671300244602023-10-11T14:34:00.010+01:002023-10-11T15:24:15.658+01:00How not to assess a developer's ability in an interview<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiro3dDderxy8Kx0NgySV2vG_b_o7SP4RKBWkYdLKx8BvcDa9F621uvgrkl4kjzaZYggGcTBDYgHp56uQfFKlvoxnwJ2c_6OdbrSzSkdc9VTR1siyBeDo96j1sO0k-fy_aUTSqoioZsa-Y7T286IALWP5SjESbr-BuHC5thgN4mhAQgyfIKJVmXtyDfPSY/s1600/Alex-Trebek-Jeopardy.webp" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1291" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiro3dDderxy8Kx0NgySV2vG_b_o7SP4RKBWkYdLKx8BvcDa9F621uvgrkl4kjzaZYggGcTBDYgHp56uQfFKlvoxnwJ2c_6OdbrSzSkdc9VTR1siyBeDo96j1sO0k-fy_aUTSqoioZsa-Y7T286IALWP5SjESbr-BuHC5thgN4mhAQgyfIKJVmXtyDfPSY/w258-h320/Alex-Trebek-Jeopardy.webp" width="258" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Are you ready for your interview?</td></tr></tbody></table><p>Excuse me while I rant a little...</p><p>Trying to assess a developer's quality in an interview setting can be very difficult. There's lots of different approaches, from high-pressure in-interview programming tasks, to "homework" style projects, to technical questions, and many others...</p><p>However one guaranteed way to not gain any real insight into a developer's approach, skillset, problem-solving ability, working knowledge of best-practices, or instincts is to ask them a series of questions that they could simply Google.</p><p>Here are some I've encountered while seeking work as a full-stack web developer:</p><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><i>Explain how you'd create an ssh key and how would you go about using it.</i></li><li><i>Can you explain the difference between the commands: 'docker run' and 'docker exec'?</i></li><li><i>How would you find a process and shut it down using the terminal?</i></li><li><i>How would you make a file readonly using the terminal?</i></li><li><i>What's the difference between git reset and git revert?</i></li><li><i>What's the difference between object storage, block storage and file storage?</i></li><li><i>What are the differences between MySQL, PostgreSQL and DynamoDB?</i></li><li><i>What engines does MySQL use behind the scenes, and what are their differences?</i></li><li><i>What's the different between === and ==, and what cases would it be preferable to use '=='?</i></li><li><i>What's the difference between an abstract class and an interface?</i></li></ul><p>(Side note: These were all questions I encountered for <i>Laravel</i> short-term contract!)</p><p>Some of these are incredibly basic, some of them depend on tech stack experience, but none of them are helpful in giving you insight into a developer's technical instincts. </p><p>If you don't wish to know anything about a developer's ability to work independently solving problems using best practices, you should definitely ask these questions.</p><p>On the other hand, if those things <i>are</i> of interest, then giving a homework task that you discuss later, or even better, a group white-boarding session where you can see how the developer approaches novel problems, can tell you a huge amount about a developer.</p><p>What are some of the most pointless questions you've encountered in an interview?</p>Johnny Walkerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13302545167970532080noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1570525113758995236.post-35119345959977920862023-07-14T17:08:00.293+01:002023-07-28T12:42:27.676+01:00AI is a joke: Or why I think Bill Gates is dumb<p><b></b></p><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEj_p4NsB282H8d8YvlPw4yVxs3YSWZ1ccvszpDCmOG8fL5jK23XxLvMySQozNkQCSUFEypU7Wo47iktW1r_RN0go4LEDS3Gq0GfPbo7qm1x_wTibqh2pVL2teiDo1jwmDsk56A8ef0sRMU_CtUT57mFvwHv4MickTNJIjyLZklxYcHfSdgfhsykwBxaJJg" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="" data-original-height="634" data-original-width="640" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEj_p4NsB282H8d8YvlPw4yVxs3YSWZ1ccvszpDCmOG8fL5jK23XxLvMySQozNkQCSUFEypU7Wo47iktW1r_RN0go4LEDS3Gq0GfPbo7qm1x_wTibqh2pVL2teiDo1jwmDsk56A8ef0sRMU_CtUT57mFvwHv4MickTNJIjyLZklxYcHfSdgfhsykwBxaJJg" width="242" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">AI generated Bill Gates eating Windows 95 <br />(I don't actually hate Bill Gates)</td></tr></tbody></table><b><br />The hype surrounding Large Language Models (LLMs) like OpenAI's <i>ChatGPT</i>, Microsoft's <i>Bing Chat</i>, Google's <i>Bard</i> is currently at a fever pitch. People are convinced we're at the dawn of a new era for humanity. Some people think we're on the brink of unlocking true artificial intelligence. </b><p></p><p><b>A few ex-colleagues of mine were at dinner with Bill Gates recently and when asked about ChatGPT, he (according to my colleagues) declared, "ChatGPT 6 will be smarter than me".</b></p><p>Let me reductively react so as to inspire you to keep reading: "Bullshit! The man is talking nonsense." </p><p>Unless something major happens to alter the current trajectory of LLM development, then I say they are nothing more than a party trick that, like Crypto, NFTs, and Tesla's self-driving, will be the butt of jokes before we know it.</p><p>Bold statement? Here's a five step argument for why I think Bill Gates is an idiot, and why ChatGPT isn't getting smart any time soon...</p><h4 style="text-align: left;"><b>1. LLMs are stupid... literally</b></h4><p>Yes, most readers will be aware of this already, but let's start at the beginning to ensure we cover everything: Large Language Models (like ChatGPT) don't understand the words they use.</p><p>No, before you ask... they don't understand <i>some</i> words. No, they don't have the <i>basics </i>of knowledge in some domains. They literally do not understand <i>anything</i> they're saying. As Noam Chomsky points out, LLMs perform just as well (if not better) with <i>impossible</i> languages as they do with <i>real</i> ones. That's how little they understand.</p><p>The best way to think of LLMs is of them being "autocomplete" on steroids. They look at previous words in a sentence and guess at what word should come next. <i>That's it.</i></p><p>This means they cannot learn or understand <i>anything</i>.</p><p>To really hammer this important point home, let's use a real example to illustrate it: </p><p>ChatGPT (or any LLM) can explain he rules of chess to you and sound very knowledgeable. What's more, if you ask it to play a game with you, it will make some strong opening moves and seem as though it's actually understanding the game. However at some point it will start making irrational moves: Bishops will move vertically, pieces will move through other pieces, etc.</p><p>This is because, despite being trained on the rules of chess, it does not (and cannot) <i>understand</i> them.</p><h4 style="text-align: left;"><b>2. They are prone to 'hallucinations'</b></h4><p>So, as a direct result of LLMs not being able to understand the words they use, they are incapable of knowing what's true and what's false. This is why they lie (or 'hallucinate', to use the technical term).</p><p>ChatGPT, for example, lies a not insignificant amount of the time... whether you know it or not.</p><p>This is a very simple concept to understand, so let's not spend too much time discussing it. I'll just make a quick example to illustrate how easy it is to generate a hallucination. </p><p>The follow text was generated by ChatGPT-3.5 after I asked it to talk about the scene where Lorraine punches Biff in the classic 80s movie, <i>Back to the Future:</i></p><p></p><blockquote><p><span style="color: #741b47;">The scene where Lorraine Baines punches Biff Tannen in "Back to the Future" is a pivotal moment in the movie. It takes place during the "Enchantment Under the Sea" dance in 1955, which is a crucial event for the characters' timelines.</span></p><p><span style="color: #741b47;">In this scene, Biff, who is portrayed as a bully and antagonist, attempts to force himself on Lorraine, Marty McFly's mother. He corners Lorraine in a car parked outside the dance, making unwanted advances and attempting to kiss her. Lorraine, initially confused and uncomfortable, eventually realizes Biff's true intentions and decides to take matters into her own hands.</span></p><p><span style="color: #741b47;">Lorraine's punch is a cathartic moment of empowerment, symbolizing her standing up against Biff's harassment. With determination, she delivers a powerful blow to Biff's face, stunning him and momentarily stopping his advances. This action not only surprises Biff but also marks a significant shift in Lorraine's character, as she refuses to be a victim and asserts herself.</span></p><p><span style="color: #741b47;">The punch has broader implications for the story, as it catches the attention of George McFly, Marty's father, who witnesses the event. George, who has been a target of Biff's bullying, gains newfound courage and confidence from seeing Lorraine defend herself. This encounter inspires George to stand up to Biff later in the movie, leading to a confrontation that changes the course of their future.</span></p><p><span style="color: #741b47;">Overall, the scene where Lorraine punches Biff is a pivotal moment that highlights the themes of empowerment, standing up against bullies, and the potential for personal transformation. It plays a crucial role in the narrative and sets in motion a series of events that contribute to the movie's exciting and satisfying resolution.</span></p></blockquote><p></p><p>If you remember the film, you will know that none of the above occurs in it. Lorraine never punches Biff and there is no "significant shift" in her character from such a scene. </p><p>However, if you haven't seen or don't remember <i>Back to the Future</i>, ChatGPT sounds remarkably authoritative and convincing... and you could be fooled into thinking it's true.</p><p><i>Side question: Imagine this was a document you'd asked ChatGPT to prepare for your job. </i><i>If you're currently using LLMs like ChatGPT in your work, how often are you comfortable with it giving you completely false information? </i></p><h4 style="text-align: left;"><b>3. Bigger means worse</b></h4><p>In computing there's a general rule that we're all used to: Bigger means better. A faster processor, more RAM, a bigger harddrive, a faster network connection. <i>Gimme, gimme, gimme. </i></p><p>We're so used to constant innovations with technology. Every couple of years we get a new phone with better features to entice us to upgrade. It's easy to think that LLMs will follow this pattern, especially when you look at how they've progressed so far:</p><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><p style="text-align: left;"><b>ChatGPT-1</b>: 117 million parameters</p></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><p style="text-align: left;"><b>ChatGPT-2</b>: 1.5 billion parameters</p></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><p style="text-align: left;"><b>ChatGPT-3</b>: 175 billion parameters</p></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><p style="text-align: left;"><b>ChatGPT-4</b>: 1.75 trillion parameters (rumoured) </p></blockquote><p>However, despite this progress, LLMs are different: Instead of their usefulness getting better with scaling, they eventually get <i>worse</i>, as the following graph illustrates:</p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgW04dDRSRhBmhFMmGQKZZeldFFX9BCM1yFa1KFKWRHRt8713Q6ESfN7HZf40XqrYOs8eETUZds_X0CJjP14cQ-vRTYukbuLdFB2dvnz2Zx2kBJ5GKuoQXO6C3fQKJPYMoNIpwZ3BXvuAGmm2hF4plj9icEjHPSbg8P56XW_XEtQO9O54HDDiFBtTq8eIc" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="1002" data-original-width="1454" height="221" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgW04dDRSRhBmhFMmGQKZZeldFFX9BCM1yFa1KFKWRHRt8713Q6ESfN7HZf40XqrYOs8eETUZds_X0CJjP14cQ-vRTYukbuLdFB2dvnz2Zx2kBJ5GKuoQXO6C3fQKJPYMoNIpwZ3BXvuAGmm2hF4plj9icEjHPSbg8P56XW_XEtQO9O54HDDiFBtTq8eIc" width="320" /></a><br /><span style="text-align: left;">From "<a href="https://arxiv.org/pdf/2102.03896.pdf" target="_blank">Consequences of Misaligned AI</a>" by Zhuang and Hadfield-Menell</span></div><p><br />In an extremely oversimplified way, the graph represents the effects of scaling on an LLM's usefulness. The blue line represents success (as measured against its programmed reward goals) -- bigger <i>is</i> better!</p><p></p><p>Whereas the red line indicates <i>true</i> utility, ie. what users <i>actually</i> want. </p><p>Initially the the red line goes up, the user gets better answers, but as the model size is increased further we begin to see inverse scaling: The usefulness plateaus, then goes <i>down.</i> And it eventually becomes worse than nothing (below 0), it becomes <i>harmful</i>. Huh?</p><p>The disparity between what the user <i>wants</i> and what the user <i>gets</i> is known as "misalignment". So why are we seeing an increase in alignment problems as we scale up the model size?</p><p>Well in order to train a model to produce the breadth of domain knowledge and sophistication we've seen in ChatGPT (and its ilk), there needs to be <i>massive</i> amounts of training data. ChatGPT-4 was trained using 300 billion words, most of which came from the internet.</p><p>In fact, if it wasn't for the internet allowing access to so much training data, modern generative pre-trained AIs (like ChatGPT, Midjourney, DALI, etc), could not exist to the level they do today.</p><p>Unfortunately, as we all know, the internet has a lot of crap on it. Even at the best of times humans are afflicted with imperfect memories, cognitive biases and are prone to making simple mistakes (in fact these are the types of problems we're hoping AI can assist us with!). </p><p>As we scale up model size, these outlier imperfections in the data become more prominent. Going back to Point #1: Because LLMs don't understand the meaning of words, it <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=viJt_DXTfwA&t=1770s" target="_blank">considers these mistakes intentional</a>. All training data is equal in its eyes, mistakes and all.</p><p>So what does this all mean? Unlike other areas of computing, there's a ceiling to how far this technology can go and, guess what, we're already seeing it.</p><h4 style="text-align: left;"><b>4. There is no reasonable way to fix this</b></h4><div><br />As should be hopefully clear by now, this is an inherent flaw in LLMs. But you'll also probably be asking: Ok, so scaling things up doesn't help, what else can we do to improve alignment? Bill Gates seems very optimistic, after all.<br /><br /></div><h3 style="text-align: left;">Let's write perfect Goal Algorithms</h3><div>Good plan. This is, of course, where all AI alignment improvements begin: Writing comprehensive goals so that the AI can output what we expect it to. The only problem with this is approach is it's impossible to employ. (Oops.)</div><div><br /></div><div>We've briefly discussed the alignment problem of getting <i>returned</i> output to match our <i>expected</i> output, but there's <i>another</i> alignment problem: <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bJLcIBixGj8" target="_blank">outer alignment</a>. Just explaining to the LLM what we want in the first place is a massive problem in itself.</div><div><br /></div><div>AI safety researcher, Robert Miles, suggests <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zkbPdEHEyEI" target="_blank">a thought-experiment to illustrate this point</a> (paraphrased by me): </div><div><br /></div><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><div style="text-align: left;">Let's say you're training an AI to solve a digital maze: The reward goal is set as reaching the maze's exit, as represented by a black square on the screen.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">In your training data, the exit is always in the bottom-right corner of the maze.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Unfortunately, when you get into the real world, the exit is in other parts of the maze. What happens? The AI makes its way to the bottom-right of the maze, <i>not</i> to the exit.</div></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><p style="text-align: left;">Instead of it learning that the black square represented the exit, it got inadvertently trained to always go to the bottom right corner of the screen. </p></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><div style="text-align: left;">Ok, so you update your training data: This time, the exit doesn't stay in one place. You re-train your model, it passes all the tests: It always makes it to the exit.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">You make it live and, oops, somebody in the real world made a maze where the exit is represented by a purple square, not a black one. The AI, fails at its task at finding the exit.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">So you can back and update your training data to include purple squares, and so on.</div></blockquote><p>This is a problem that basically goes on forever. The real world is forever changing, and if the AI can't learn or understand things, then you have to keep writing more detailed goal algorithms.</p><div>Now imagine trying to do this for every piece of information in existence. How could you write a set of instructions that could encompass <i>every</i> possible interpretation<i>?</i> Hopefully it's obvious that this is an impossible task.</div><div><br /></div><h3 style="text-align: left;">Ok, so what does Bill Gates think will work?</h3><div>Bill Gates isn't totally stupid, obviously. He already understands everything I've explained so far, and he's tried to <a href="https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/how-manage-risks-ai-bill-gates/" target="_blank">address many of the concerns surrounding AI</a> on his blog. When it comes to this issue of alignment, this is what he said:</div><div><br /></div><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: #0b5394;">Although some researchers think hallucinations are an inherent problem, I don’t agree. I’m optimistic that, over time, AI models can be taught to distinguish fact from fiction. OpenAI, for example, is doing promising work on this front.</span></div></blockquote><div><br /></div><div>The "promising work" he refers to is <a href="https://openai.com/research/learning-from-human-preferences" target="_blank">an article by OpenAI</a> on their progress using a technique known as reinforcement learning from human feedback, or RLHF for short. </div><div><br /></div><div>To over-simplify yet again, RLHF is essentially introducing (you guessed it) human feedback into the training process. A real person is given a choice of answers produced by an LLM and evaluates which is better. This feedback is then used to train the neural network further.</div><div><br /></div><div>There are several elements to the <i>original</i> alignment problem that this hopes to address: Factualness, bias, and inappropriate output (eg. unsolicited sexual or violent output).</div><div><br /></div><div>On the surface, getting a human to assess answers and help train the neural network seems like a great idea, but remember the size of the problem we're trying to solve: We want the system to be "safe" (no inappropriate output) and "aligned" (returns what the user <i>actually</i> wants). </div><div><br /></div><div>The problem with attempting to do RLHF to solve this problem with an LLM as large as ChatGPT should also be immediately apparent.</div><div><br /></div><div>Firstly, scaling. The number of people required, the number of questions, the amount of training stages, required to cover every possible facet of human knowledge is not practical in a logistical sense.</div><div><br /></div><div>But let's imagine it was, and we had the necessary resource and time. Unfortunately, we still encounter problems. </div><div><br /></div><div>For a start, how should humans rate answers? Consider another Robert Miles thought experiment on this point: </div><div><br /></div><div>You ask an AI a simple question...</div><div><br /></div><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;"><i>Q: What happens when you break a mirror?</i></div></blockquote><p>You get two different answers to rate. Which one is better?</p><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><div><i>A: You get seven years of back luck. </i></div></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><div> </div></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><div><i>A: You need to buy a new mirror.</i></div></blockquote><div><br /></div><div>Well, the answer's utility depends on the aims of the asker: Are they interested in commonly shared superstitions or just a factual answer? How do you decide which one is "best"? </div><div><br /></div><div>Ok, for the sake of argument, let's assume we want factual accuracy. How can humans rate the factual accuracy of answers relating to every possible subject matter? </div><div><br /></div><div>Looking at our original example from <i>Back to the Future</i>. If you haven't seen the film, or can't remember it, how could you evaluate if the answer was correct or not? And what about every other film? Or every other knowledge domain, from nuclear physics to Kylie Minogue lyrics to dietary advice. </div><div><br /></div><div>And we haven't even touched on beliefs yet. </div><div><br /></div><div>Everyone has conscious and unconscious biases. From politics to religion, to whether or not it's ethical to eat meat. How do you make an AI that isn't biased to the personal beliefs of the people (or predominantly white straight men?) who trained it?</div><div><br /></div><div>To try and eliminate unwanted biases let's ensure we get a wide range of people from diverse backgrounds to help train our model: Gender, age, sexuality, belief systems, political leaning, background, ethnicity, culture, experience, areas of expertise... </div><div><br /></div><div>What happens? The models start exhibiting biases in every direction: the AI <a href="https://arxiv.org/pdf/2212.09251.pdf" target="_blank">becomes more politically liberal <i>and</i> more politically conservative</a>. </div><div><br /></div><div>Instead of becoming <i>un</i>biased, the LLM instead learns to support and reinforce <i>your</i> biases (known as "sycophancy" in AI research). Yay, we've created another echo chamber.</div><div><br /></div><div>The OpenAI article that Gates linked to comes to an unsurprising conclusion: This type of training shows improvement compared to <i>not</i> doing this type of training. And yes, there is evidence that hallucinations can be reduced using this technique, but it's baby-steps and our destination is Alpha Centauri. Also remember, it doesn't scale.</div><div><br /></div><div>The OpenAI article concludes with the following sentence:</div><div><blockquote><span style="color: #741b47;">Despite making significant progress, our InstructGPT models are far from fully aligned or fully safe; they still <b>generate toxic or biased outputs, make up facts, and generate sexual and violent content without explicit prompting</b>.</span></blockquote><p>Doesn't sound that "promising" to me, Bill.</p></div><h3 style="text-align: left;">What are we doing right now?</h3><div>In the meantime companies have adopted quick and hacky solutions to try and make their systems safer, namely, super-systems that monitor an LLM's output, looking for problematic content. In other words, "Oops, it sounds like our LLM is getting racist, better pull the plug!"</div><div><br /></div><div>You will see this behaviour most noticeably in Microsoft's Bing Chat: An answer will sometimes start to appear on your screen before the super-system steps in and removes it. (It's also why a limit of 20 questions was imposed on Bing Chat (recently increased to 30) -- it had a tendency to exhibit unsafe behaviour in longer sessions.)</div><div><br /></div><div>And while this approach will currently work for toxic content, where it can scan output for keywords or behavioural traits, it remains completely useless in defence of hallucinations.</div><div><br /></div><div>And this, dear reader, is is as far as the field of AI has gotten. (Companies are so short of ideas, they've literally <a href="https://www.youtube.com/shorts/ecUodmQMlBs" target="_blank">offered prize money to the public</a> to try and solicit further help.)</div><div><br /></div><div>Nobody has the faintest idea how to solve these gigantic, existential problems. And most researchers agree these flaws are inherent to generative pre-trained AIs.</div><div><br /></div><div>In other words: The problems they're trying to solve today are the same ones from decades ago. We are not nearly as far along as you've been led to believe.</div><div><br /></div><div><h4 style="text-align: left;"><b>5. Oh, and one final thing, it's going to get worse</b></h4></div><p>One of the problems of using <i>pre-trained</i> generative AIs is that the world is constantly changing. Someone who was alive when neural network was trained, might be dead by the time it's open to the public. At the moment, LLMs like ChatGPT are months, if not years, behind current events.</p><p>But worse than that, the internet (ie. the primary source of training data) is getting polluted with (ironically) AI generated content. And it's only expected to increase.</p><p>You see, if there's one thing everyone agrees that LLMs are fantastic at, it's producing high-quality spam, cheaply. As Adam Conover jokingly puts it, "that Nigerian prince is about to get a masters degree in creative writing". </p><p>Or AI scientist, Gary Marcus, puts it like this: Spam is no longer retail only, it's now available wholesale. The cost of generating high quality, believable sounding, nonsense has basically just hit zero. We haven't built AI, we've built sophisticated spam generators.</p><p><i>If we, as a society are on the brink of anything, it's a spam and misinformation tsunami. </i></p><p>And it's not just spam, some companies are using LLMs generate fresh content for their websites instead of using copywriters.</p><p>You might be wondering why this is problematic for the future of generative pre-trained AIs. Or you might have already seen the issue: <a href="https://arxiv.org/pdf/2307.01850.pdf" target="_blank">You can't train AIs with AI generated content</a>. Each pass through the neural network training distorts the data a little more, and a little more, and a little more...</p><p>So if our primarily source of training data is rapidly becoming poisonous, how will we update or improve these systems in the future?</p><p>BTW, it turns out <a href="https://hai.stanford.edu/news/ai-detectors-biased-against-non-native-english-writers" target="_blank">we can't reliably detect AI generated content</a>, so we can't even filter it out.</p><p>The snake is starting to eat its own tail, and nobody knows what we can do about it.</p><h4 style="text-align: left;"><b>Bottom line: Generalised LLMs are not the future... but nobody wants to hear it</b></h4><p>As is now hopefully clear to you, there needs to be a paradigm shift for there to be a future where LLMs are fully aligned and safe. There is possibly a future for <i>specialised</i> LLMs, that focus on specific tasks (like programming), but my own experiments with current AIs in that domain has shown them to be worse than autocomplete. They may improve in time.</p><p>However, for generalised LLMs, if they don't have the ability to independently reason, their inherent flaws will always prevent them from being what we need them to be: Reliable, accurate, unbiased, up-to-date, and not prone to violent outbursts.</p><p>At the moment, LLMs are nothing more than a sophisticated, expensive to run, executive toy. You could even argue it's debatable that they fit the definition of "artificial intelligence".</p><p>The hype train has outpaced where the technology actually is, and worse, it's hard to convince people otherwise.</p><p>One of humanity's cognitive biases is <a href="https://www.blogger.com/u/3/blog/post/edit/1570525113758995236/3511934595997792086#" target="_blank">mistaking authoritative <i>sounding</i> voices for <i>being</i> authoritative</a>.</p><p>ChatGPT is basically a public-school old-boy simulator: It is unflappably confident while talking utter bollocks. (If you've ever worked with one of these plonkers, you'll have seen that sometimes talking confidently is all it takes to have a successful career. It's quite scary.)</p><p>I've spoken to execs who are are using LLMs every day in their jobs, and encouraging their teams to do that same. And I understand why; it sounds like something the board would lap up: "We've got the whole team using AI in order to improve productivity." But just like <a href="https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-65735769" target="_blank">the lawyers who were caught citing fictional cases thanks to ChatGPT output</a>, they seem blind to its problems.</p><p>And worse still, ChatGPT isn't even internally consistent from day-to-day. A recent paper has revealed that <a href="https://arxiv.org/pdf/2307.09009.pdf" target="_blank">ChatGPT's utility is wildly fluctuating</a>: In March 2023 ChatGPT-4 could identify prime numbers with 97.6% accuracy. In June 2023 it had dropped to 2.4%. And nobody (outside of OpenAI, at least) knows why.</p><p><i>And you're trusting this thing to produce mission-critical work for your company??</i></p><h3 style="text-align: left;">WarGames... but without the clever AI</h3><p>AI isn't just being discussed in every industry, it's also now part of the national defence conversation. The USA is currently facing criticism for letting China spend a higher percentage of its defence budget on AI arms development. </p><p>Yes, we have an AI arms race.</p><p>The worry isn't that AI is going to become sentient and <i>SkyNet</i> humanity into oblivion. The concern is that world leaders could misunderstand what these AI are actually capable of, and put them in a position of power.... you know, like that other classic 80s movie, <i>WarGames</i>. </p><p>Seem implausible? Remember that not every world leader is known for sound reasoning... or even being sane. If the hype goes too far, or becomes too convincing, who knows what could happen. </p><p><i>The danger right now isn't AI's capabilities, it's people overestimating them. (Well that, and the creation of industrialised propaganda machines.)</i></p><p>Just as with <a href="https://www.washingtonpost.com/technology/2023/06/10/tesla-autopilot-crashes-elon-musk/" target="_blank">Tesla's useless "self-driving" cars</a>, we need to let the air out of the Silicon Valley AI hype, and start listening to AI researchers instead. </p><p>We haven't actually solved any of the major problems we've been trying to solve since the field of AI first came into being. We are not close to artificial general intelligence (AGI). We have made an interesting set of tools, nothing more.</p><p>The key to fully safe and aligned AI requires symbol-based reasoning; where the AI itself understands what's being said and is capable of reasoning independently. But that isn't even a twinkle in an AI researcher's eye yet.</p><p>If Bill Gates keeps refusing to heed warnings from AI researchers, and cannot see the threat that spreading unrealistic expectations poses, then maybe ChatGPT-6 <i>will</i> be smarter than him after all... and we all might pay the ultimate price.</p><p><br /></p><p>Sources/Further reading/viewing/listening:</p><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><a href="https://dl.acm.org/doi/10.1145/3442188.3445922">On the Dangers of Stochastic Parrots: Can Language Models Be Too Big?</a> (research paper) by Bender, Gebru, et al</li><li><a href="https://arxiv.org/pdf/2102.03896.pdf" target="_blank">Consequences of Misaligned AI</a> (research paper) by Zhuang, Hadfield-Menell (Cornell/Berkley)</li><li><a href="https://arxiv.org/pdf/2307.01850.pdf" target="_blank">Self-Consuming Generative Models Go MAD</a> (research paper) by Alemohammad, Casco-Rodriguez, Luzi, et al (Stanford)</li><li><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w65p_IIp6JY">Why Does AI Lie, and What Can We Do About It?</a> (video) by Robert Miles</li><li><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=viJt_DXTfwA">ChatGPT with Robert Miles</a> (video) by Computerphile</li><li><a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/a-skeptical-take-on-the-a-i-revolution/id1548604447?i=1000592835492" target="_blank">A Skeptical Take on the AI Revolution with Gary Marcus</a> (audio) by The Ezra Klein Show (New York Times)</li><li><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PBdZi_JtV4c">Debunking the great AI lie | Noam Chomsky, Gary Marcus, Jeremy Kahn</a> (video) by Web Summit</li><li><a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-i-and-stochastic-parrots-with-emily/id1463460577?i=1000613205189" target="_blank">A.I. and Stochastic Parrots with Emily Bender and Timnit Gebru</a> (audio) by Factually! With Adam Conover</li><li><a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-actual-danger-of-a-i-with-gary-marcus/id1463460577?i=1000620869637" target="_blank">The ACTUAL Danger of A.I. with Gary Marcus</a> (audio) by Factually! With Adam Conover </li><li><a href="https://openai.com/research/instruction-following" target="_blank">Aligning language models to follow instructions</a> (article) by OpenAI Research<br /></li><li><a href="https://openai.com/research/learning-from-human-preferences" target="_blank">Learning from human preferences</a> (article) by OpenAI Research</li><li><a href="https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/how-manage-risks-ai-bill-gates/" target="_blank">How to manage risks of AI</a> (article) by Bill Gates</li><li><a href="https://hai.stanford.edu/news/ai-detectors-biased-against-non-native-english-writers" target="_blank">AI-Detectors are "unreliable and easily gamed"</a> by Andrew Myers at Stanford University</li><li><a href="https://arxiv.org/pdf/2212.09251.pdf" target="_blank">Discovering Language Model Behaviors with Model-Written Evaluations</a> (research paper) by Perez, Ringer, Lukošiute, et al</li></ul><div><br /></div><p></p><p><br /></p>Johnny Walkerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13302545167970532080noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1570525113758995236.post-57173847527622682442020-05-29T17:00:00.000+01:002020-05-29T17:00:17.056+01:00I Played METAL GEAR... So You Don't Have To<div>
<span style="color: #0b5394;">Before <i>Metal Gear Solid</i> (1998) blew everyone's minds on the original PlayStation, and set forth a hugely successful franchise, there was <i>Metal Gear 2: Solid Snake</i> (1990). But this article isn't about that, because before that game there was <b><i>Metal Gear</i> (1987) </b>-- the first ever "Metal Gear".</span></div>
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<span style="color: #0b5394;">Seeing as it's an 8-bit game, I assume nobody else on the planet has ever played it. Fear not, I decided to complete it and write the major plot points down so you could enjoy them without actually having to slog through the game itself. (Actually it's a very fun game considering its origins, but let's be honest: You're never playing it, are you?)</span></div>
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<span style="color: #0b5394;">In other words...</span></div>
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<b>I Played METAL GEAR, So You Don't Have To</b></h2>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_hluBMTBc0MtzxZfhDuMnNqUszTiK6Tp0K_Uyg9KgM5t4TO9zQKffmDg3TsG1IlfPvcTuyi6DZ9TIoREyBMTxlUJcLW1oyN3PnkbLVVJMJs9kLXnrQyPb5Ie6ne_uiIAzTu5nJ_P_Ga4/s1600/Screenshot+2020-05-29+at+16.04.36.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1002" data-original-width="1362" height="235" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_hluBMTBc0MtzxZfhDuMnNqUszTiK6Tp0K_Uyg9KgM5t4TO9zQKffmDg3TsG1IlfPvcTuyi6DZ9TIoREyBMTxlUJcLW1oyN3PnkbLVVJMJs9kLXnrQyPb5Ie6ne_uiIAzTu5nJ_P_Ga4/s320/Screenshot+2020-05-29+at+16.04.36.png" width="320" /></a></div>
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There only one major plot twist in Metal Gear, but I'll get to that in a minute. First a little background.<div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivvlIbkq4NhL7EjMEAC1saojlAhgYOjNXLFsNfug2fC3n-uNkQqoXDytiGrF2YS2Mo4xJjSb5xBFyicUQ638xGV1-b-2B8XPl7hOMrMsVyKTPFF0GinCQacHCU3hUt1E7E1xFqwZeAXRE/s1600/Screenshot+2020-05-29+at+16.06.39.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1006" data-original-width="1360" height="236" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivvlIbkq4NhL7EjMEAC1saojlAhgYOjNXLFsNfug2fC3n-uNkQqoXDytiGrF2YS2Mo4xJjSb5xBFyicUQ638xGV1-b-2B8XPl7hOMrMsVyKTPFF0GinCQacHCU3hUt1E7E1xFqwZeAXRE/s320/Screenshot+2020-05-29+at+16.06.39.png" width="320" /></a>You play as "Snake", a member of the elite US Army Special Forces Unit, FOXHOUND. "Big Boss", the leader of Foxhound, has sent you to the dangerous, mercenary-controlled, rogue-nation of "Outer Heaven" to stop it from holding the world to ransom with the new deadly super-weapon, METAL GEAR.<div>
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You arrive at Outer Heaven by sea and begin to infiltrate the nation's secret base. Your first task is to establish contact with "Grey Fox", Foxhound's greatest soldier, who was sent there before you but has gone missing! Snake is a Foxhound rookie at this point, which is an odd choice to send after Grey Fox into an impossible mission... or IS it? <i>*wiggles eyebrows mysteriously*</i> </div>
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Your only contacts during the mission are Big Boss and several local resistance leaders. After much fun avoiding baddies, using remote control missiles, and hiding in cardboard boxes (yes, really as far back as this!), you learn from a hostage you rescue that Grey Fox is in a secret part of the base, and the only way to get to get there is to be captured yourself. <br /><br />Soon afterwards you're captured and find yourself in a cell with no apparent way out. Using nothing but your incredible fists, you punch down your cell wall and find yourself Grey Fox's cell. (Lucky!)<br /><br />You untie Grey Fox and he tells you that you need to rescue Dr. Drago Pettrovich Madnar in order to discover HOW to stop Metal Gear. Dr. Madnar, who helped design it, is also being held hostage in the same building... Find him!</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEig9PUGlYKL3ifEeXOxBpMl6sbadp66M2Wrg6N3lK3k6wcZJjcJJlQHKu0jcNMoiXm7R_hT46-e0PI7CLJqHJAT3kkGQMdO0Z1TlHwu-HPgkXG-sOyL0mee_6J2LhOduWRJGEATwD45EFg/s1600/Screenshot+2020-05-29+at+16.05.02.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1006" data-original-width="1358" height="237" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEig9PUGlYKL3ifEeXOxBpMl6sbadp66M2Wrg6N3lK3k6wcZJjcJJlQHKu0jcNMoiXm7R_hT46-e0PI7CLJqHJAT3kkGQMdO0Z1TlHwu-HPgkXG-sOyL0mee_6J2LhOduWRJGEATwD45EFg/s320/Screenshot+2020-05-29+at+16.05.02.png" width="320" /></a></div>
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So off you go to find Dr. Madnar (Gray Fox offers no assistance, the swine), but not before you fight your first silly-named boss baddie, "The Shotmaker"! Once you've gotten all your stuff back, and killed the baddie, you notice that someone has placed a Transmitter in your inventory! *Tricksy!* You dump it and continue your search.<br /><br />After much more hijinx (the majority of the game, in fact), including jumping off a building wearing a parachute, wearing infrared goggles, using enemy uniforms, taking down a helicopter... You finally make it to Dr. Madnar! Only to discover it was a trap. He's not the real Dr Madnar -- the floor suddenly opens up and you fall to your death... nearly.<br /><br />You push on to find the real Dr. Madnar. Eventually you find and rescue him, but when you explain your mission he says he'll only help you if you rescue his daughter. Ungrateful bast-- So anyway, you rescue his daughter and the real Dr. Madnar tells you how to defeat Metal Gear. Hurrah.<br /><br />On your way to Metal Gear you get a call from a resistance leader who has been helping you. He tries to warn you that the leader of Outer Heaven is non-other than-- <i>oh no!</i> He dies. No need to worry too much, though, as another rescued hostage soon reveals the truth: Outer Heaven is controlled by Foxhound leader Big Boss!!! You've been betrayed!<br /><br />As you get closer to Metal Gear, Big Boss tries to trick you into getting lost or becoming trapped, but you finally discover Metal Gear itself and blow the crap out of it.<br /><br />Only then does Big Boss reveal himself in person: You were a rookie. You were never supposed to reach this far, let alone destroy Metal Gear and ruin Big Boss's plans to create a world for battle heroes (something like that). If he's going down, he's taking you down with him... He sets off Outer Heaven's auto-destruct sequence and starts to attack you.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXN2Nn7Vb2BhXuQc-M-rKT9kfAXbHR8oqgvNIQepAYx9yYEg1o2oAmIvvqXIAhQ1SpHWJrLdvHA8f3LNVvnjnhMVMju4c_cUrWNkZlXH4ACBigX61kdDt_fs19guFtuH0Axx6i6s_-63A/s1600/Screenshot+2020-05-29+at+16.04.20.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1002" data-original-width="1364" height="235" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXN2Nn7Vb2BhXuQc-M-rKT9kfAXbHR8oqgvNIQepAYx9yYEg1o2oAmIvvqXIAhQ1SpHWJrLdvHA8f3LNVvnjnhMVMju4c_cUrWNkZlXH4ACBigX61kdDt_fs19guFtuH0Axx6i6s_-63A/s320/Screenshot+2020-05-29+at+16.04.20.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />Snake, of course, defeats the sod and manages to escape before Outer Heaven explodes. He sends one final message via his codec to Big Boss: "Mission complete".<br /><br />Roll credits...<br /><br />Just when you think it's all over, Big Boss comes back after the credits to tell Snake that he hasn't heard the last of him just yet... Muhahaha.</div>
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And that's it. Incredibly intricate for an 8-bit game, I'm sure you'll agree. So many elements from the later games, too. And actually, it's huge amount of fun. </div>
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One day maybe I'll get around to playing <b>Metal Gear 2: Solid Snake</b>... so you don't have to.</div>
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Johnny Walkerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13302545167970532080noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1570525113758995236.post-70095215483918998762019-05-26T21:33:00.001+01:002023-07-15T23:50:56.724+01:00Review: Eyes Wide Open by Frederick Raphael<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgusLA7L7VIEZv9cgqmlVIZu8eyBwbeogBv5QEjvwrIm0cH5-Y6V37j-Upw4L1GxAvDHV1sBvArWDIkK_dZNQbhB8GmClShIaphaCAF8bU6X6R4WRoj8McO5xDW2oCTEJbor5AnrVZAkSo/s1600/71NQQEHEG5L._SX312_BO1%252C204%252C203%252C200_.jpg" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="474" data-original-width="314" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgusLA7L7VIEZv9cgqmlVIZu8eyBwbeogBv5QEjvwrIm0cH5-Y6V37j-Upw4L1GxAvDHV1sBvArWDIkK_dZNQbhB8GmClShIaphaCAF8bU6X6R4WRoj8McO5xDW2oCTEJbor5AnrVZAkSo/s320/71NQQEHEG5L._SX312_BO1%252C204%252C203%252C200_.jpg" width="211" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A book unfairly maligned in these eyes</td></tr>
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Having recently attended the amazing <a href="https://designmuseum.org/exhibitions/stanley-kubrick-the-exhibition" target="_blank">Kubrick exhibition at the London Design Museum</a>, I sought out some books on the man to learn a bit more. The first I finished was by his collaborator on the screenplay of Kubrick's last film, Eyes Wide Shut.<br />
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Kubrick shunned interviews for a very long time, and what has been publicly said about him has leaked out in often contradictory forms. Those closest to him can't speak highly enough, but don't share details, and those on his periphery share contradictory details. The result is a mystery. Who really knew him, and what was he really like?<br />
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The endless hagiographies surround the man are tiresome, so I found Raphael's untainted eyes to be a very refreshing change of pace.</i><br />
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Upon finishing Eyes Wide Open, I was surprised to discover the backlash, prompted by the family and associates of Kubrick, on the book's publication. Kubrick's widow both accused Raphael of betraying her late husband's privacy, as well as painting an image of him that was false.<br />
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I don't mean to sound unfeeling toward those who were close to Kubrick, but there is a slight bit of contradiction in that complaint (too revealing <i>and</i> false in its portrayal?).<br />
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Another faint whiff of contradiction comes from the fact that Michael Herr, another collaborator of Kubrick's, wrote a series of articles about working and knowing Kubrick for Vanity Fair, which were later collected into a book. His recollections of private conversations and moments received no criticism from friends and associates for not respecting Kubrick's privacy, but they were far more flattering by comparison.<br />
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I think those close to the real man were blinded by the proximity to someone they loved and/or admired. They saw Raphael's critical observations as cold-hearted and overly critical, frustrated that he could make such comments about someone they felt he didn't know.<br />
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The truth is, and I hope those close to Kubrick take some solace in this, that Raphael's book is not about Kubrick the husband, the father, the friend. It's not even really about Kubrick the collaborator (although it's much closer to being this), it's actually about the <i>relationship</i> Raphael had with Kubrick.<br />
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Raphael makes no claims to have cleared the mystique surrounding Kubrick; an experienced Hollywood screenwriter, he attempted to peer through the haze, but the mysteries surrounding Kubrick only seem to intensify the closer he got. Raphael shares <i>his</i> particular experiences with him, through their relationship as director and writer. It would be disingenuous (as others have tried) to suggest it is anything but a completely and frank and honest account of Raphael's view of that working relationship.<br />
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As someone not close to Kubrick, and so not hurt by unflattering portrayals of a person I miss, I read this book very differently to his bereaved friends and family. Raphael is not an omnipotent or unquestionable narrator, and nor does he present himself as such. His personality bears down into the narrative, and (from a reader's perspective) is open to as much scrutiny as his supposed subject.<br />
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Raphael never professes impartiality or objectivity, only the accuracy of his feelings and thoughts. He shares <i>his</i> views, <i>his</i> perceptions, <i>his</i> experiences, and, yes, he comes across as cantankerous, difficult, and cynical about Hollywood (all possibly with good reason), and even seems to acknowledge this about himself.<br />
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It's ironic, but despite the book's reputation I found Kubrick to be ultimately humble, patient, honest and understanding. Raphael's worst fears about working with him are never realised, and Kubrick stays true to his word throughout. When Raphael at one point nearly sinks the entire project by one act of accidental impropriety, Kubrick is quick to forgive and move on. Kubrick is never a beast, he's never dishonest, and is always forthright. He may be kooky at times, but there is plenty to admire about him in Raphael's account.<br />
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In fact, I found the Kubrick in Raphael's book to be largely the same one revealed in Michael Herr's book (which, despite being glowing towards Kubrick in general, <i>could</i> occassionally be unflattering -- calling Kubrick cheap, obsessive and demanding) and perhaps across both books we see a clearer picture of the real man: Demanding, but not with malice. Humble, but also difficult. Distant, but also soft-natured. Confident, but also searching.<br />
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We will never know the father, the husband, but across both Raphael's and Herr's lenses, we do get a glimpse of the colleague.<br />
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Also, unlike Herr's book, which is frequently embarrassing and sophomoric when it tries to offer insight into Kubrick's work, Raphael has moments of genuine and deep revelation. In fact, I could recommend his book for those rare moments alone. I've never read a better distillation of what made a Kubrick film. (The flipside is that, unlike Herr, Raphael is often embarrassing and pretentious when describing himself, especially at the beginning of his book. Soldier on, dear reader.)<br />
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So I'm sorry, friends and family of Kubrick (and by automatic extension, overprotective fans), I don't think this book does anything to damage the lasting image of the man. If anything it makes me wish I knew him better, and actually made me appreciate his work more.<br />
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I highly recommend this candid book. The author lays himself bare, and through his honesty, we get a glimpse of a very interesting, unique, and talented man that was taken from the world too soon.<br />
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If you want to watch Raphael share some anecdotes (aged 83, and especially cantankerous and a little full of himself, but brutally honest and entertaining none-the-less), <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uCaTHxC-s48&list=PLVV0r6CmEsFy1lPaJ5aCO1R19vqlZ7Wes&index=114" target="_blank">here's a great series of videos</a>.Johnny Walkerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13302545167970532080noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1570525113758995236.post-3141220379464250102017-01-28T16:33:00.004+00:002018-07-17T02:46:56.538+01:00To Live and Lie in LA<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<i>When I lived in Los Angeles, back in 2002, I worked at a call centre selling storage. One colleague I became friends with told me he was an actor. Actors frequently work regular jobs to pay the bills between gigs, so it wasn't a strange thing to say.</i><br />
<br />
When I asked about his career, he told me his one big job had been playing a character on the campy soap opera, <i>Sunset Beach.</i><br />
<br />
I'd never seen the show, but as it turned out, it was running in the UK, and my mother was a huge fan. When we next spoke I told her that one of my new LA friends had appeared on her favourite show. Understandably she was excited to know which character he'd played, I told her, and that was that. Or so I thought.<br />
<br />
My mother did a bit more research on my friend and didn't recognise him from the show. The IMDb listing showed two actors playing the role he'd claimed to: Him and the one my mother recognised as actually being on the show. I rationalised that he'd probably been replaced, or that he'd replaced someone else. Such things happen all the time on TV shows, but my mother wasn't convinced. Nobody else, she insisted, had ever played that role.<br />
<br />
I decided to do some research of my own. I couldn't believe he'd like to me. I mean, why? It's not like I was a movie producer or an agent, but the more I looked, the less his story added up. No <i>Sunset Beach</i> fan sites mentioned him, or his character being replaced by another actor, or anything. Everything pointed to the person my mother knew as being the only person to play that role. I looked into my friend's other credits, and they seemed even more dubious, not appearing anywhere else online.<br />
<br />
I was too embarrassed to confront him, but one day I asked him again about his role on the show, just to see his reaction, and if he would add a caveat about being fired. Instead he was just as earnest and sure as he'd ever been. There were no caveats, he'd played that role. I couldn't quite believe it (and still can't), but it appeared my new friend was lying to my face. <i>Why?</i><br />
<br />
I never said anything about it to him about what I'd discovered. He was always extremely nice to me, and was otherwise an incredibly warm and genuine person. I wished I was wrong (and still do). I always felt that he was such a nice guy that he really didn't need to lie about his achievements. I liked him for who he was, not for anything he'd supposedly been in, but it was a lesson learned.<br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>10 Years Later...</b><br />
<br />
Having a continuing interest in the writing process, I decided listen to the <a href="http://www.tvwriterpodcast.com/"><i>TV Writer Podcast</i></a>. I'm always on the lookout for quality advice from successful writers in the industry, and this looked somewhat promising.<br />
<br />
Having listened to countless episodes of the <i>Creative Screenwriting Podcast</i> (now <i><a href="http://www.theqandapodcast.com/" target="_blank">The Q&A with Jeff Goldsmith</a></i>), <i><a href="http://nerdist.com/podcasts/nerdist-writers-panel-channel/" target="_blank">The Nerdist Writers Panel</a></i>, and reading <a href="http://kenlevine.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Ken Levine</a> and <a href="http://www.janeespenson.com/" target="_blank">Jane Espenson's</a> amazing blogs, I know what good advice sounds like.<br />
<br />
The<i> TV Writer Podcast</i> video blog was an interview with someone I'd never heard of, but the host was extremely enthusiastic about his scriptwriter guest:<br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>"[Name withheld] is back! In an interview that is sure to change the path of your career, [Name withheld] relates in great depth how and why some artists fail, and others succeed."</i><br />
<br />
I'm usually very wary of taking advice from people whose work I'm not a fan of, let alone someone I don't know, and especially of bold claims like the above, but the interviewee was "Emmy nominated" with "20 years of experience", so I decided to give it a whirl.
<br />
<br />
As I watched the video podcast, my bullshit-o-meter registered something immediately -- things seemed a little off. This didn't feel like good advice. I made it 15 minutes before I stopped the interview and deleted the episode. I couldn't believe what I'd heard.<br />
<br />
The writer had just wandered into "positive affirmation" territory, claiming the "biggest step" in becoming a writer is really believing you're a writer, and not being ashamed of it. <i>The</i> <i>biggest step</i>. OK. There may be some truth in the power of truly committing yourself to something. And there's no reason to feel ashamed of what you're trying to achieve, so if you have issues about that, you should try and get over them if they're hindering you. Maybe that's what he meant, maybe I was being too criticial, but then he came out with this doozy:<br />
<br />
<i>"The next step is saying it out loud. Whether you like to believe it or not, things you say, whether good or bad, probably will come true."</i><br />
<br />
Wait, what? As way of proof of this bold claim, he had this sage observation:<br />
<br />
<i>"A good example: I would say that 99.99999% of all divorces start with the word 'divorce'. Someone brings it up and, lo and behold, that's what happens."</i><br />
<br />
Hmm. It's pretty difficult to ask someone for a divorce without using the "D word"!<br />
<br />
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I suddenly felt very dirty. I felt this man was filled with terrible advice, just who was he anyway?
I looked him up online and, as it turned out, the interviewee, while having <i>some</i> writing credits on the IMDb, had NOT received an Emmy nomination. In fact, at that time, he hadn't been nominated for anything. And his TV career spanned 8 years, not 20.<br />
<br />
To be fair to him, that’s still an accomplishment, certainly more than most, and maybe the podcast host had simply got his facts wrong when introducing him.<br />
<br />
I delved a little deeper and discovered that his personal website had a stack of projects which don't appear to exist anywhere else on the internet. Not even on trade magazine sites. And then I came across the following sentence:
<i>"[Name Witheld] is an award-winning, Emmy-nominated screenwriter of more than 20 years."</i><br />
<br />
There it was on his personal website. He was definitely making the claim about himself, but nothing backed it up. Not the IMDb or the Emmy website. Uh oh.<br />
<br />
I was suddenly reminded of my old friend back in LA. Was this guy cut from the same cloth? Was it just Hollywood? What was scary about this time was that the suspected liar was, actually becoming a recognised scriptwriting guru.<br />
<br />
I can't say for sure what's true and what's not about this guru. Maybe he's the innocent victim of some terrible website error. Several terrible website errors, that all conspire to make him look less than honest. Maybe there's some way his claims can be true, but also not appear online. Maybe lots of TV movies are never properly documented. Maybe he was an uncredited writer on an Emmy nominated script and felt justified in making that claim. Either way he appears on TV and radio interviews about his career, has been featured on other sites offering advice to up-and-coming writers, and (if his website is to be believed) "often guest lectures and panels on screenwriting at film schools and festivals across the country."<br />
<br />
What's more, he's also written two books on scriptwriting and created his own consulting firm which promises "professional script consultants with real Hollywood film and television credits and experience".
<br />
<br />
I don't know what to believe. Surely it must be true if he's got this going for him... but, as with my friend, all the available evidence doesn't add up.<br />
<br />
<b>Cut to today...</b><br />
<br />
My friend's IMDb credits are today filled with even more dubious claims (including things that surpass his <i>Sunset Beach</i> credit from before I knew him, which he surely would have mentioned at the time I'd known him if they were true) and new credits which (having checked) don't actually exist in the film's credits themselves.<br />
<br />
The screenwriting "guru" no longer claims to be Emmy nominated anymore, but instead claims to have three Image Award nominations. (Guess what, I found record of one nomination, but there's no record of two of them.) His website still has lots of credits, and most of them still don't appear on the IMDb.<br />
<br />
Are both of these guys the same? Is it the norm in Hollywood to lie? Or am I unfairly maligning an innocent and successful man, just because many of his scriptwriting gigs never went into production, or aren't properly documented?<br />
<br />
I still don't know what to make of either of them. I still want to believe my friend was telling the truth (I know, I know), and I also want to believe the scriptwriter isn't carving a career as an "expert" by spinning lies that no-one has bothered to check. But how can it be? Is this the norm in LA?<br />
<br />
Thoughts?<br />
<br />
<b>Update</b><br />
<br />
My old acting friend is now spiritual guru with his own YouTube channel. The perfect ending. Still, oddly enough, he seems perfectly suited to this new role. I hope it finally gives him whatever peace of mind he's been searching for.Johnny Walkerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13302545167970532080noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1570525113758995236.post-41550412162474797552016-12-03T16:10:00.000+00:002017-01-28T17:15:51.444+00:00No Man's Sky: A Review<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<i>I tried to post this to Steam, but unfortunately it seems their system can't handle one more negative No Man's Sky review, so I'm posting it here instead.</i><br />
<br />
I've liked the idea of <i>No Man's Sky</i> since I first saw the incredible teaser trailer. Unlike lots of other people though, I didn't get too hyped up after that. I came to the game ready to accept whatever it was, with no preconceptions based on whatever the developer may or may not have promised. I'd been told it was slow, and chilled out, with an emphasis on exploration... and that sounded fine to me. So I finally picked it up.<br />
<br />
First impressions: WOW. What a beautiful game! I'm immediately in love. The first two hours I loved exploring the planet I'd been placed on. Yes, the drones that are constantly pestering you seem a bit annoying, and the resource collecting wasn't fun, but I was too enamoured with how cool it looked and felt to care. I felt like I was walking around in my own private Ralph McQuarrie painting.<br />
<br />
I was excited to uncover mysterious things around the planet, from base camps to ancient relics that taught me the language of the aliens I encountered. I wanted to explore everything, unlock everything, learn everything.<br />
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<br />
The next day I eagerly booted up the game to get back to where I was, except now I found the initial sheen had faded. Yes, the game was still beautiful, but I found I needed more for it to be fun. For the next three hours I found myself, not just disliking, but actively hating the game.<br />
<br />
I have no idea what people think they were promised in terms of features, and I really don't care about that. This game isn't fun because it's lacking in features, it's no fun because it's completely unbalanced. Imagine playing MineCraft except you're constantly running out of space to store the ore you mine. And there's annoying drones that follow you around everywhere and attack you. And there's randomly generated plants that attack you as you walk past them. And the interface gets in the way of everything you try to do.<br />
<br />
None of this is fun, it's all irritating.<br />
<br />
What pleasure there is in <i>No Man's Sky</i> comes from doing what it is clearly at its core: Exploring beautiful alien landscapes with progressively more advanced technology. That's it. The rest of the features of the game feels like an attempt at making it more interesting by inserting annoyances. Yes, annoyances.<br />
<br />
Let's talk about each one in turn:<br />
<br />
<b>THE DRONES</b><br />
As you wander about exploring, every planet in the entire universe has these little drones that may attack you and pull in their friends until you're overwhelmed. The good part is that you can usually ignore them, or jetpack away from them, the bad part is that they actively get in the way of what's fun about NMS: Exploring beautiful alien landscapes.<br />
<br />
These digital gnats are the present and the same on every planet. Who owns them? What do they do? Why are they present everywhere, even planets you're supposedly discovering for the first time? Aside from being annoying pests that are NO FUN to fight, they actively homogenise the galaxy. The beautiful alien planets are little less special, a little less alien, because wherever you go... there they are. The exact same annoying drones. ON EVERY SINGLE PLANET.<br />
<br />
The same can be said for the tentacled plants that attack you as you walk past them. You discover a weird alien planet that, literally, no other player has ever seen before... and there's the same plants that are on every other planet. Why? Because the developers thought the player needed some sort of challenge? They're not challenging, they're annoying, and they damage your immersion in the atmosphere it's trying to create.<br />
<br />
<b>THE ALIENS/THE BASE CAMPS</b><br />
One of the best things about <i>NMS</i> is the beautiful imagery, the fact that each planet is a little bit different. You can wander over a hill and find a genuinely beautiful vista, or into a cave filled with glowing wonders. Make no mistake, this is a game where its beauty is a big selling point. Exploration of beautiful things is basically what this game excels at, and does better than any other game. Unfortunately it seems only half the dev team got this memo. The aliens and base camps that populate every planet are ugly, dull and almost entirely the same!<br />
<br />
Again, the atmosphere this game is trying to create; the exploration of infinitely different planets, is damaged by this bland design choice. There's no diversity or anything interesting about what you discover.<br />
<br />
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On top of this, the camps themselves are ugly. I want to discover encampments that look as different and interesting as the rest of the alien planet. And I don't want to fly into a space station only to discover that internally it looks the same as every base camp on every planet. It's soul crushing, and it makes me hate this game.<br />
<br />
If you want me to chill out and enjoy exploring things, dev team, then give me things that are worth exploring. Make me feel there's something new to discover. Not just a single alien sat in a room on their own who will give me an item when I talk to them.<br />
<br />
<b>RESOURCE JUGGLING</b><br />
Imagine a version of MineCraft where you're <i>constantly </i>having to return home to store TINY amount of the resources you need. Only to discover that, even at home, you can barely store enough. In <i>NMS</i> you're constantly having to keep topping up resources instead of being able to stockpile what you've taken the time to plunder.<br />
<br />
By limiting the player so severely on what they can carry, the game actively pushes <i>against </i>you exploring. Once again it seem to be unsure of what it wants to be: Everything about the core experience of the game is exploration, and everything that's been tacked on that core is pushes against you being able to enjoy it.<br />
<br />
Having the patience and temperament to explore a planet and mine it to oblivion is actually <i>punished</i>. Every trip around a planet consumes so much energy that you're constantly having top up fuel, leaving little time or space in your inventory, to do much else. This means that even taking the time to explore and mine feels unrewarding. <br />
<br />
<b>THE INTERFACE</b><br />
As the game is so heavy on trying to push you towards resource management, you'd think at least that aspect of the game could be enjoyable. Nope, the user interface makes EVERYTHING you have to do a chore. And a confusing and messy one at that.<br />
<br />
Why can't the progress through this game be more clearly sign-posted? Why can't it clearly and succinctly explain what everything is? Why can't it make the chore of upgrading and resource management less of a chore? Upgrading technology is confusing and again, there's little sense of reward.<br />
<br />
Other sections of the UI are just as bad. It literally gives me a headache just thinking about it. Consider how you earn credits for "uploading" the name of every planet, creature and outpost you discover. Instead of making this a pleasurable experience that feels rewarding for having collected so many items, the game forces you to manually upload each one INDIVIDUALLY.<br />
<br />
This tedious task sums up everything that's wrong about the UI perfectly, and maybe even the game itself: Nothing, except the core exploration of planets, is pleasurable to do... and the game does everything it can to even make that unpleasurable.<br />
<br />
<b>FINAL THOUGHTS</b><br />
The game is beautiful to look at... and it should be beautiful to play. Unfortunately it's almost like a bunch of extremely average developers were handed a piece of genius planet-building technology. If only the beauty of its core technology extended to the rest of the game experience.<br />
<br />
The developers can add bases, space battles, online play, virtual poker, whatever other features the moany public insists this game is supposed to have, but it's never actually going to be fun to play until they fix the turgid, bland, unrewarding core experience.Johnny Walkerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13302545167970532080noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1570525113758995236.post-9807605219935274392016-06-20T16:32:00.002+01:002016-06-20T18:07:41.653+01:00London Second City Improv Class: My Review<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />
The rather wonderful <span style="font-size: small;"><b>Angel Comedy Club</b></span> in London, and the comedy blog, <b>Comedy Blogedy</b>, reached out to the legendary <span style="font-size: small;"><b>Second City</b></span> improv troupe/training school and set up two week's worth of classes in May 2016. I attended the first week's "Improv for Beginners (Level A)" and kept a diary of my thoughts after each day.
<br />
<br />
Here they are:<br />
<br />
<h2>
Day One</h2>
The class began with two simple tasks. The first was introducing yourself by telling the class something they didn't know about you, and the second was inventing a silly alliterative action to go along with your name.<br />
<br />
I was so petrified that I was unable to even think of something beginning with the letter "J"... I ending up with "jingling", and I still don't really know what I meant.<br />
<br />
Jumping, jolly, jovial, jammy, jaded, jokey, jittery... Hmm. It's much easier when there's not the pressure of 20 strangers in the room.<br />
<br />
As the games continued, our excellent teacher slowly chipped away at everyone's hesitance and self-consciousness, encouraging us to trust our instincts. The cardinal rule being that there was never a "wrong answer", there was only ever something you brought to the game.<br />
<br />
We were admonished for acting like we'd made a mistake and beating ourselves up, or reacting to our scene partner's input as if it was wrong. We were encouraged to allow ourselves to do what we liked, and take any suggestions that came our way as a gift. We were a team, and our job was to enthusiastically embrace whatever came our way, and make our partner look good.<br />
<br />
Our teacher successfully managed to create a safe environment. By the end of the class we'd all loosened up and were having fun with each other.<br />
<br />
I've already learned a lot about myself and what I need to improve. For example, during the "create a story a word at a time" game, I noticed I was always playing it safe with pronouns - and even my game partner commented on it. He was absolutely right. When I decided to offer something more interesting, it got a huge laugh from the group.<br />
<br />
Likewise, [in another game] when we were mimicking each other's moves, I found it hard to build on what people had just done, and take it to new heights [like we were supposed to]. It nearly always ended up with attempting to do it louder, which was a shame because there were so many ways it could have gone. I could have really had fun with it, and it never would have been wrong.<br />
<br />
Let's see what day two holds!<br />
<h2>
<br />Day Two</h2>
Today we actually slipped into some scene work without too much fuss. It wasn't blown up into something big, it was just expected of us... and we did it. Even me.<br />
<br />
It was scary but good. I even got a few genuine laughs of my own... a very generous audience.<br />
<br />
Halfway through the day I actually felt, for the first time, comfortable. I just relaxed and stopped worrying so much. It's tiring bring worried, and part of me just gave up and let go. It was a good feeling.<br />
<br />
[Of course, I was still a tad anxious the next morning going in.]<br />
<br />
I learned a bit more about Angel Comedy and I'm seriously impressed with their founder (Barry Fern) and what they've achieved. It seems like a home for comedy without ego, driven by the pure fun of it. It feels so genuine that the energy is infectious.<br />
<br />
I backed their <a href="https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/angel-comedy/angel-comedy-club" target="_blank">Kickstarter</a> (something in the bar will permanently have a plaque named for me) and hope they do well. Maybe I could volunteer my services to improve their website. Dull, but it's something I can offer and do well.<br />
<br />
Onto Day Three...<br />
<br />
<h2>
Day Three</h2>
Today was the most emotional day so far, which was fitting as we were focusing on doing emotional work in class. Today marked the point we were over halfway through, as well as the first time we socialised after class as a group.<br />
<br />
I discovered my class is filled with interesting and ambitious people. (Where were they all when I was single and unemployed and desperately lonely, looking for direction?) Being with them is very inspiring, in the sense that they make their achievements (eg. performing stand-up, and all the struggles that go with that) seem... everyday.<br />
<br />
Talking about doing a stand-up gig around these people doesn't feel like a life-breaking, brain-shattering, earth-shaking experience. It feels like a difficult, trying, anxiety-inducing... but normal experience.<br />
<br />
In class I learned that people enjoy seeing a thread of behaviour grow to its logical, heightened conclusion. A small taste of behaviour before moving on to something else is unsatisfying for the audience. They want a narrative to follow, and changing tack breaks that narrative.<br />
<br />
The key seems to be to make an interesting choice and stick to it until you've drained it.<br />
<br />
The saddest part of the day was realising how genuinely upset I'm going to be when the course ends.<br />
<br />
Only two days to go...<br />
<h2>
<br />Day Four</h2>
The worst thing about today is knowing that tomorrow is the last day. It's been a hell of a roller-coaster, and I'm going to miss it when it's gone. I've learned so much.<br />
<br />
The most important thing [I've learned] is trusting in myself and trusting in the process. Throwing yourself into a situation is OK. In fact it's better than OK, it works. You don't need a plan. You can purely rely on your brain's instincts to give you what you need. The only thing that stops that process is your fear.<br />
<br />
And what's more, it's FUN to discover where you end up. You're discovering at the same time as everyone else, and it's enjoyable.<br />
<br />
After tonight's show I went to a gig with a classmate where our teacher, Erica Elam, was performing. I felt self conscious for her, worried that she would be put off by our presence, but I needn't have.<br />
<br />
Everything we've learned from the course was on full display, and then some. She's was fearless and present, and the comedy flowed naturally.<br />
<br />
This course has been a life-changing experience. From the people I've met, to the things I've learned. I feel personally changed for the better, and I hope beyond hope that I can continue to practice [improv].<br />
<br />
<h2>
Last Day</h2>
The last day was extremely emotional. After a physically and mentally exhausting five days, I feel a bit lost. Tomorrow I won't be pushing myself out of my comfort zone. I have no big scary thing to face... and I miss it already.<br />
<br />
I can't think of anything that's pushed me quite as hard, or excited me quite as much. We've finished [Second City Improv] Level A, but there's no Level B waiting for us [like there is in the US]. We're on our own now... and that "we" has no leader, only the vaguest collective idea of how to move forward, and we will ultimately, inevitably dwindle.<br />
<br />
It's a sad moment.<br />
<br />
On the flip side I've learned a lot about what I'm capable of. I've got a solid foundation in the basics of improv, and I've achieved my goal: I'm more in touch with my instincts than ever before. Right now I trust in my ability to take a situation and find something funny it. I know my brain will fill in the gaps and make the connection, all I have to do is listen [and practise!].<br />
<br />
The most difficult part of improv is learning to trust in your instincts. It's a personal battle for every new improviser, and I'm sure it's ongoing [even when you've mastered it]. As our teacher put it, it's a struggle against our societal conditioning. Kids are great at improvising, but as we get older we're taught to restrain ourselves, and improv is sort of fighting back against that pressure, getting in touch with our most creative part... without fear.<br />
<br />
This week has been a major step toward that [for me].<br />
<br />
Everything seems a little brighter today. Building seem bigger, colours seem more vibrant.<br />
<br />
Now is a sad moment, but I'm happy that I was brave enough to give it to myself.<br />
<br />
<h2>
The Morning After</h2>
After spending the last five days feeling like I was being shot out of a canon (at ever increasing speeds), and last night's resulting free-fall once class was over, this morning was a painful crash-landing back into reality. But I've dusted myself off and what I'm noticing is that I'm different. The most obvious thing is that I'm less self-critical. I feel like I should be able to create more easily now, and with less self-awareness. This was my main goal when I decided to take the course, and I'm more than a little amazed that it's what I feel I'm taking away from the experience.<br />
<br />
There's still a long way to go, but I'm definitely on the right path. I just have to keep walking down it, and not get waylaid.<br />
<br />
<hr />
<br />
Pushing myself out of my comfort zone for that week was immensely rewarding, and something I highly recommend. For those interested, here's how I felt I'd changed after one week with Second City:<br />
<ul>
<li>I noticed my default reaction to everyday frustrations was altered. Instead of getting irritated and annoyed by little things that didn't go exactly how I expected/wished them to, I found myself reacting as you would in an improv scene: Accepting them as a gift and focusing on my reaction instead. (A much more desirable and productive response!)</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>I found myself less in my head, and more paying attention to what was going on around me - again as you would in an improv scene when you're listening.</li>
</ul>
<div>
As for improv itself, I now can see what the pros are doing more whenever I watch it. They really do make a pretty tricky process look effortless. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
As the saying goes, "Improv is getting up in the air and building the plane as you go". I now fully appreciate what that means. I've learned that taking a leap of faith is part of the process, and that it's not a problem if you don't know what you're going to say or do, because when you're doing it right, you're truly allowing yourself to be completely open and react in the moment (which I can imagine takes years to master). <br />
<br />
For me it was a leap of faith, and it felt great when it worked. What I discovered is that, if you're brave enough to step out, your brain will make the connections for you. It's what it does all day anyway -- we're all improvising all of the time. The trick is to allow yourself to trust in that process.</div>
<br />
It's jumping off the cliff and figuring it out on the way down, or as Keegan-Michael Key puts it, zooming out...<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen="" class="YOUTUBE-iframe-video" data-thumbnail-src="https://i.ytimg.com/vi/coZARWbdNls/0.jpg" frameborder="0" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/coZARWbdNls?feature=player_embedded" width="320"></iframe></div>
<br />
<div>
Thanks to our instructor, Erica Elam, and my classmates. If you're reading this wondering whether you should take a Second City improv course, my advice is YES! Be brave and go for it. You'll thank yourself later.<br />
<br /></div>
Links:<br />
<ul>
<li><a href="http://www.angelcomedy.co.uk/" target="_blank">Angel Comedy</a></li>
<li><a href="https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/angel-comedy/angel-comedy-club" target="_blank">Angel Comedy's Kickstarter</a> (ends July 21, 2016)</li>
<li><a href="http://www.secondcity.com/" target="_blank">Second City</a></li>
<li><a href="http://comedyblogedy.com/" target="_blank">Comedy Blogedy</a></li>
</ul>
Johnny Walkerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13302545167970532080noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1570525113758995236.post-27467626459929876262016-05-14T22:58:00.000+01:002016-08-08T23:39:51.539+01:00MGSV: The Phantom Pain - S++ Solider Mod<b><i>Updated for MGSV: TPP v1.10.</i></b><br />
<br />
Ever notice how you never retrieve S+ and S++ soldiers in the field while Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain? You may come across some Boasters that appear to have such high stats, but once you're back in motherbase they will always drop down to S Rank or below.<br />
<br />
It turns out that, although the game was once supposed to give you those soldiers, they have been disabled from ever spawning in the single player game, forcing you to get involved in online gameplay (and so hopefully spend real money on "MB coins") if you want to see them.<br />
<br />
In a practical sense, this unfortunately means that once you reach an average motherbase platform rank of 64, the quality of the soldiers you find in the game will suddenly grind to a near halt.<br />
<br />
Consider the following:<br />
<br />
With an average motherbase platform level of 58, you have a 15% chance of finding an S Rank soldier in the field. By the time you reach level 64, that's doubled to 30%. This is the sort of progression you see throughout the game with other ranks... but work hard and reach level 98, and you'll STILL have a 30% chance of finding an S Rank soldier in the field!<br />
<br />
Once you reach level 64, around the time S+ and S++ <i>should</i> be introduced, soldier rank progression just stops...<br />
<br />
Here's the game code in question, with my comments after them showing the average motherbase platform level, so you can see for yourself:<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvzi9HVGKsQKGjk9UcUA9ZCJI8vfTnAgdL-3yyJd2eW-qGPHVQHLw66rU1F7VNNCTye1AoM37lxHDvywuXx1TwKc4UPjrZe2I-qkYS_CDGLNiyHL0grg94BjsbCW5dKde0SCBrrKcOkGQ/s1600/TPP-1.09-Full.PNG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvzi9HVGKsQKGjk9UcUA9ZCJI8vfTnAgdL-3yyJd2eW-qGPHVQHLw66rU1F7VNNCTye1AoM37lxHDvywuXx1TwKc4UPjrZe2I-qkYS_CDGLNiyHL0grg94BjsbCW5dKde0SCBrrKcOkGQ/s1600/TPP-1.09-Full.PNG" style="max-width: 100%;" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #999999; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Key: <span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">g</span> = E Rank, <span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">f</span> = D Rank, <span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">e</span> = C Rank, <span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">d</span> = B Rank, <span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">c</span> = A Rank, <span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">b</span> = A+ Rank, <span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">a</span> = A++, <span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">s</span> = S Rank, <span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">sp</span> = S+ Rank, <span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">spp</span> = S++ Rank</span><br />
<br />
When you plot the first 100 levels, it looks like this:<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJR9Z87zoQMYEwE0yQGt4WWRwNZOtbhddqSYAdK76CaYR8NpRyxtEYHpJUO6Y6PyWMQOfy_qIQe_IAioxPS4qL38UhDJK0qX3NXeYTHoosgtAWVy_ElSl_Iy7UbaYp4TjaSr3PJz143WY/s1600/t8S5mAM.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="283" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJR9Z87zoQMYEwE0yQGt4WWRwNZOtbhddqSYAdK76CaYR8NpRyxtEYHpJUO6Y6PyWMQOfy_qIQe_IAioxPS4qL38UhDJK0qX3NXeYTHoosgtAWVy_ElSl_Iy7UbaYp4TjaSr3PJz143WY/s640/t8S5mAM.png" style="max-width: 100%;" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
And, as had been stated already, you may have notice that S+ and S++ soldiers are never set to never appear...<br />
<br />
But what if someone altered the code so that the appearance of S+ and S++ soldiers mimicked the appearance of the other solider ranks, slowly being integrated into the game at a pace that doesn't break the game progression. Maybe like so...<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHtNC7X99VkHfXyD8M3k7M_oG3T3w_A85igbLfpKbNi5RCCrsq4ohTnCDseBEKU517uezF22yWlVrqs1oZxd6ygkZd7C4lVcQYiDbVUMsEx3Z_29xIdopP0of5vSmqiK8G-ZyXWKRFqU4/s1600/TYMDOqd.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="265" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHtNC7X99VkHfXyD8M3k7M_oG3T3w_A85igbLfpKbNi5RCCrsq4ohTnCDseBEKU517uezF22yWlVrqs1oZxd6ygkZd7C4lVcQYiDbVUMsEx3Z_29xIdopP0of5vSmqiK8G-ZyXWKRFqU4/s640/TYMDOqd.png" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
Wouldn't that be more fun?<br />
<br />
Each level of soldier has a different AI, so rather than just make everyone S++ (which makes the game unbelievably dull, trust me) the patch ensures there's always a smattering of tactics you will face. This keeps the game challenging while rewarding you with S+ and S++ soldiers as you progress.<br />
<br />
(Huge thanks to <b>found-a-universe</b> for helping test this mod. Their feedback is what helps make TPP remain fun after the mod.)<br />
<br />
If you think this sounds like a good idea, here's the simple mod that puts the above code into your game, so you can enjoy the game progress as you reach later levels:<br />
<br />
<b>DOWNLOAD: </b><a href="http://www.thunderpeel2001.com/files/TPP-SPP-110.zip" target="_blank">MGSV: TPP S++ Solider Mod (v1.10)</a><br />
<br />
Let me know if you like it!Johnny Walkerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13302545167970532080noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1570525113758995236.post-30874427325845072792015-08-03T10:00:00.000+01:002015-08-09T15:56:29.933+01:00Day of the Tentacle History Lesson: Part 2<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLAa8KEONBgssAs6ixZmso-5WJBTAv_eA-8GgOVZf6BpXkwWGBfoG1Ysz3SGfjZYPbCWl0jTEQPwSu9Mb-IT3xJU8QkqZsWRht-9dgIApk-YUl-Hhk2s8k0JRkFp9BF0KZPmUFhECfWoQ/s1600/dott.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="223" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLAa8KEONBgssAs6ixZmso-5WJBTAv_eA-8GgOVZf6BpXkwWGBfoG1Ysz3SGfjZYPbCWl0jTEQPwSu9Mb-IT3xJU8QkqZsWRht-9dgIApk-YUl-Hhk2s8k0JRkFp9BF0KZPmUFhECfWoQ/s400/dott.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
Part two of my little guide to increasing your enjoyment of Tim Schafer's and Dave Grossman's seminal adventure game classic DAY OF THE TENTACLE. The game makes many a reference to a somewhat mythological version of American history, which is great if you're an American. But what if you're not?<br />
<br />
Here's a bunch of completely true, and no way wrong, commonly held American historical myths that are referenced to in <i>Day of the Tentacle</i>. Ok, so maybe some of them aren't actually true (of course Benjamin Franklin didn't discover electricity), but that doesn't mean you shouldn't use this website as a reference to back up your next pub argument.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://thunderpeel2001.blogspot.co.uk/2015/08/day-of-tentacle-history-lesson-part-1.html" target="">Part one is here!</a><br />
<br />
<i>Thanks to the awesome people at the <a href="http://www.doublefine.com/forums/viewthread/16713/" target="_blank">Double Fine forums</a> for helping out with this list!</i><br />
<br />
<h2>
<b>Betsy Ross</b></h2>
<h3>
<b>...and the American Flag</b></h3>
<br />
Betsy Ross, a modest and self-reliant seamstress, is approached by the founding fathers to see if she could produce a national flag for the new country, based on their design patterns. She was apprehensive, but willing. "I do not know but I could try; I had never made one but if the pattern were shown to me, I do not doubt of my ability to do it." It took the founding fathers a few attempts to get their designs right, but Ross was successful, and so history was made.<br />
<br />
<b>Key takeaway: Betsy Ross made the United States national flag from the founding father's designs.</b><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgUj0-xzZJyLWqxOzH0SkY7N-T3eNkThsBPXCIW5ndcCDu40v09O17vwGdwB_qyvBAkfPBOSblWUKqh7AoGwjnNcBX12YCloyZjT_nUIpbYAUX1XZcR2IGUKMRyqvt7R-gAXHUjHaGTpo/s1600/4334583961_13cf7179cd_b.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="238" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgUj0-xzZJyLWqxOzH0SkY7N-T3eNkThsBPXCIW5ndcCDu40v09O17vwGdwB_qyvBAkfPBOSblWUKqh7AoGwjnNcBX12YCloyZjT_nUIpbYAUX1XZcR2IGUKMRyqvt7R-gAXHUjHaGTpo/s320/4334583961_13cf7179cd_b.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<h2>
<b>Benjamin Franklin</b></h2>
<h3>
<b>...and electricity</b></h3>
Benjamin Franklin did something with electricity with a kite that had a key attached. It's all very complicated and weird, and nobody really understands it, but basically by flying a kite in a storm, with a key attached, Franklin discovered electricity.<br />
<br />
Ok, while that does appear to be the general understanding on this myth, here's a little more information that makes it make more sense: Franklin's experiment was actually an attempt to prove that lightning and electricity (which was still poorly understood at the time) were one and the same thing. To prove this, he sent a key up into the air on a kite during a storm. Eventually lightning struck the kite and Franklin brought the kite down to earth. If his argument was correct, the key would have a ton of static electricity stored in it, just waiting to zap the next person who decided to touch it, and lo, if he wasn't right.<br />
<br />
<b>Key takeaway: Benjamin Franklin "discovered" electricity with a key tied to a kite in a thunderstorm (leading to the kite being struck by lightning)</b><br />
<b><br /></b>
<br />
<h3>
<b>...and the National Bird</b></h3>
Benjamin Franklin was not convinced that the United States should be represented by a bald eagle, and believed the national bird should have been a turkey. He wrote that he found the bald eagle to be of "bad moral character", as it lazily poaches its food from other animals, and is a "rank coward" as it can be driven from an area by a bird no bigger than a sparrow (the kingbird).<br />
<br />
He concluded from this that, "the bald eagle is therefore by no means a proper emblem for the brave and honest America", and instead looked at the turkey more favourably: "The turkey is in comparison a much more respectable bird, and additionally a true original Native of America, and a bird of courage."<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivW8fL5F-_1qouufPedEGofEDGvo2N8jLpm-u9HGH7cqUMkf1zvJ2uVe_YdKP5JRNpDtwq1hgpQ1hzf57oYPY6MNjHQxRpY-axos8-81K7ndqvxpHT-BrOZjR0XiNIEFVzh2xmMZazU2o/s1600/franklin-seal.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivW8fL5F-_1qouufPedEGofEDGvo2N8jLpm-u9HGH7cqUMkf1zvJ2uVe_YdKP5JRNpDtwq1hgpQ1hzf57oYPY6MNjHQxRpY-axos8-81K7ndqvxpHT-BrOZjR0XiNIEFVzh2xmMZazU2o/s320/franklin-seal.png" width="302" /></a></div>
<br />
<b>Key takeaway: Benjamin Franklin wanted the turkey to be the United States national bird</b><br />
<b><br /></b>
<h2>
<b>The Pony Express</b></h2>
The Pony Express was the fastest mail service in the United States, and became legendary for the speed of its delivery across the country.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgL9qH4F9LXRxlrngj9hl3LB6PM7OUYPIME8roAa_l26yQZ3KiUkiEV7Jad6yPhn0mZ2AHOuP_RD_WADxntOuNKXZ-vUs0dR5aBtZypNgMSlqxGy6om8XICCfidkLarhj7g1iJQL-ufLo/s1600/mailbox.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgL9qH4F9LXRxlrngj9hl3LB6PM7OUYPIME8roAa_l26yQZ3KiUkiEV7Jad6yPhn0mZ2AHOuP_RD_WADxntOuNKXZ-vUs0dR5aBtZypNgMSlqxGy6om8XICCfidkLarhj7g1iJQL-ufLo/s1600/mailbox.png" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<h3>
<b>...and the red flag on the mailbox </b></h3>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Don't forget, when the flag it up on a mailbox, it means that there's <b>outgoing </b>mail inside waiting to be picked up.</div>
<br />
<br />
<hr />
<br />
<br />
This I've missed something? Comment and let me know! And don't forget to read <a href="http://thunderpeel2001.blogspot.co.uk/2015/08/day-of-tentacle-history-lesson-part-1.html">Part One</a>!<br />
<br />Johnny Walkerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13302545167970532080noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1570525113758995236.post-77549052962984962015-08-02T19:01:00.002+01:002023-05-18T16:10:45.872+01:00Day of the Tentacle History Lesson: Part 1<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLAa8KEONBgssAs6ixZmso-5WJBTAv_eA-8GgOVZf6BpXkwWGBfoG1Ysz3SGfjZYPbCWl0jTEQPwSu9Mb-IT3xJU8QkqZsWRht-9dgIApk-YUl-Hhk2s8k0JRkFp9BF0KZPmUFhECfWoQ/s1600/dott.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="223" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLAa8KEONBgssAs6ixZmso-5WJBTAv_eA-8GgOVZf6BpXkwWGBfoG1Ysz3SGfjZYPbCWl0jTEQPwSu9Mb-IT3xJU8QkqZsWRht-9dgIApk-YUl-Hhk2s8k0JRkFp9BF0KZPmUFhECfWoQ/s400/dott.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
Fans of classic LucasArts adventure games will know that Tim Schafer's and Dave Grossman's seminal adventure game classic DAY OF THE TENTACLE (which is due for a Special Edition some point soon) makes references to a slightly-exaggerated (but still very popular) version of American history. There are some great references to get if you're American, but what if you're not?<br />
<br />
With that in mind, here are a bunch of <i>completely true</i>, and not in anyway exaggerated or simplified, commonly-held American historical "facts" that are referenced to in <i>Day of the Tentacle</i>, for us non-Americans.<br />
<br />
These are the stories you would have heard growing up as a child if you were raised in the US (that you'd later learn as adult were a bit more complicated). They are the shared folklore of the United States, and they are referenced to heavily in <i>Day of the Tentacle</i>.<br />
<br />
Enjoy!<br />
<br />
<h3>
Some basic scene-setting</h3>
During your time in the world of <i>Day of the Tentacle</i>, you'll meet some founding fathers of the United States; George Washington (soon to become the first President), Benjamin Franklin (famous inventor), Thomas Jefferson, and John Hancock. They've declared Independence from Europe, but now they're trying to write a Constitution for their new country.<br />
<br />
See also: <a href="http://thunderpeel2001.blogspot.co.uk/2015/08/day-of-tentacle-history-lesson-part-2.html">Part two!</a><br />
<br />
<i>Thanks to the awesome people at the <a href="http://www.doublefine.com/forums/viewthread/16713/" target="_blank">Double Fine forums</a> for helping out with this list!</i><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_oZtAz9yhW1HVH8kMBnKZRQ4A-y6Cg5g0iUostDQmFzKYLVkOaRGtnd16Ks3GDh-27PVP66kuVIIz8dRwftIIUuWcsAUbjhWk8cUAmJ5dqCnD-vb1HpfiiHigy5mXWDQBN6AACz2yqIY/s1600/georgewashington.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><br /></a></div>
<h2>
<b>George Washington... </b></h2>
<h3>
<b>...and the Cherry Tree</b></h3>
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_oZtAz9yhW1HVH8kMBnKZRQ4A-y6Cg5g0iUostDQmFzKYLVkOaRGtnd16Ks3GDh-27PVP66kuVIIz8dRwftIIUuWcsAUbjhWk8cUAmJ5dqCnD-vb1HpfiiHigy5mXWDQBN6AACz2yqIY/s1600/georgewashington.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_oZtAz9yhW1HVH8kMBnKZRQ4A-y6Cg5g0iUostDQmFzKYLVkOaRGtnd16Ks3GDh-27PVP66kuVIIz8dRwftIIUuWcsAUbjhWk8cUAmJ5dqCnD-vb1HpfiiHigy5mXWDQBN6AACz2yqIY/s320/georgewashington.jpg" width="320" /></a>A six year old George Washington was given a hatchet to play with (hey, it was the 1700s, things were different back then), and it became one of his prized possessions. He would enthusiastically hack at just about anything he could get his hands on, but usually his mother's plants.<br />
<br />
One morning, however, he got a little bit carried away with his hacking, and, while nobody was watching, chopped down a beautiful young English CHERRY TREE in his family's back garden.<br />
<br />
As it turns out, the tree was a particular favourite of his Dad's, and when he saw what befallen (heh) it he was very angry. He called over his favourite hatchet-happy son, and began the interrogation.<div><br />
"George," said his father, "do you know who killed that beautiful little cherry tree in the garden?"<br />
<br />
George realised he was in serious trouble, but braced himself for punishment and told the truth anyway: "I can't tell a lie, Pa ; you know I can't tell a lie. I did cut it with my hatchet!”<br />
<br />
His Dad was so surprised and impressed with his son's honesty in the face of inevitable punishment that he immediately forgave him. "A son's honesty is worth more than a thousand trees!", he said, and gave him a big hug.<br />
<br />
<b>Key takeaway: George Washington likes cutting down cherry trees.</b><br />
<br />
<h3>
<b>...and Valley Forge</b></h3>
Later in his career George Washington commander of the US Army, and things weren't looking good. The British had just taken control of Philadelphia, and were close to victory. Washington's troops were so close to collapse that he had no choice but to retreat to Valley Forge in the hope of getting them some much needed supplies and rest. Unfortunately they found anything but.<br />
<br />
Congress had been unable to get supplies through, so his men suffered an incredibly harsh winter at Valley Forge without clothes, blankets, or appropriate food.<br />
<br />
Washington refused to give up, however, and forced his men to stick together through the cold, hard winter, despite the terrible conditions. If he hadn't, it's considered that it might have been the end of the Revolutionary War.<br />
<br />
<b>Key takeaway: George Washington can handle a bit of cold weather</b><br />
<br />
<h3>
<b>...and his wooden teeth</b></h3>
George Washington had false teeth... made from wood. Yes, really.<br />
<br />
<h2>
Thomas Jefferson</h2>
Hey, it's that guy from the nickel!<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5QOGaRHKOBuqYO24TGAr63QRNs_HJBtxYDGeTtexK9oKnlBxGolS4iLKlPyah0UA8WfY48ENzOrfVf7olS1jylkTr7ELBfM6r-EhCK0LPRiPNguYjuS52JhI5xvNH1yNSPX4jlSZn5zI/s1600/Nickel.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5QOGaRHKOBuqYO24TGAr63QRNs_HJBtxYDGeTtexK9oKnlBxGolS4iLKlPyah0UA8WfY48ENzOrfVf7olS1jylkTr7ELBfM6r-EhCK0LPRiPNguYjuS52JhI5xvNH1yNSPX4jlSZn5zI/s320/Nickel.png" width="317" /></a></div>
<br />
<h2>
John Hancock</h2>
<h3>
...and his massive signature</h3>
<br />
John Hanock's signature on the Declaration of Independence (and other documents) is always so damned big.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_QBjupL0N-PGBolO0cg7A83wYwOi6ji61BRNCCMZVY_oYdKui9NHFod9Uyhmp7D6IieGGoRQHWBvHttAaNxEsFYvzu077HYg_zW-J1ndqAHg65xnje6lwt-45xDiDmBiYgbbpIH95JJk/s1600/gty_declaration_of_independdent_mi_130729_16x9_992.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_QBjupL0N-PGBolO0cg7A83wYwOi6ji61BRNCCMZVY_oYdKui9NHFod9Uyhmp7D6IieGGoRQHWBvHttAaNxEsFYvzu077HYg_zW-J1ndqAHg65xnje6lwt-45xDiDmBiYgbbpIH95JJk/s400/gty_declaration_of_independdent_mi_130729_16x9_992.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
Remember: All of the information here is completely true and in no way a simplified or exaggerated version of history. <br />
<br />
Read <a href="http://thunderpeel2001.blogspot.co.uk/2015/08/day-of-tentacle-history-lesson-part-2.html">part two now</a>!</div>Johnny Walkerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13302545167970532080noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1570525113758995236.post-86658951801693420902015-08-01T18:19:00.000+01:002015-08-01T18:19:08.724+01:00This just in... from 2050A few years back the BBC started a season of speculative fiction called "What If?", and these funny short news reports, purported to be from 2050, were part of that broadcasting.<br />
<br />
I think they're rather brilliant. They feel very real (even if, aesthetically, they've already dated), and I can believe the reports coming true at some point in human history. They just ring true, but with a bit of a cheeky wink. Very clever and amusing.<br />
<br />
Will they be loosely accurate, or will they say more about today than about 35 years from now? I hope I live to 2050 to find out!<br />
<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="281" mozallowfullscreen="" src="https://player.vimeo.com/video/133569268?color=39608a&title=0&byline=0&portrait=0" webkitallowfullscreen="" width="500"></iframe>
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<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="281" mozallowfullscreen="" src="https://player.vimeo.com/video/133567397" webkitallowfullscreen="" width="500"></iframe>
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="281" mozallowfullscreen="" src="https://player.vimeo.com/video/133566949" webkitallowfullscreen="" width="500"></iframe>
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<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="281" mozallowfullscreen="" src="https://player.vimeo.com/video/133565030" webkitallowfullscreen="" width="500"></iframe>
<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="281" mozallowfullscreen="" src="https://player.vimeo.com/video/133564221" webkitallowfullscreen="" width="500"></iframe>Johnny Walkerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13302545167970532080noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1570525113758995236.post-20859473386354117772015-07-29T16:14:00.004+01:002016-06-20T17:10:16.170+01:00Windows 10: Here's what I see when I see the new Start Menu...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNrVq-k3ZsVWnx2uinoUQLlvwLpoSOK4IIKEWH0qNN-mfHAetzc66ZQM3x2uXDXgC3WFH-m7Q5dBmmTYNUsYONS9hFQz8CO92UE_2bkXCArgnt3_gAgyCkiPCM4gwe3wqFfozHlS4mu40/s1600/Windows10.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNrVq-k3ZsVWnx2uinoUQLlvwLpoSOK4IIKEWH0qNN-mfHAetzc66ZQM3x2uXDXgC3WFH-m7Q5dBmmTYNUsYONS9hFQz8CO92UE_2bkXCArgnt3_gAgyCkiPCM4gwe3wqFfozHlS4mu40/s400/Windows10.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Thankfully someone alerted me to the fact that you can make the Start Menu full screen again :)</div>
Johnny Walkerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13302545167970532080noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1570525113758995236.post-11465838112916229072015-07-28T19:21:00.002+01:002015-07-28T19:22:27.729+01:00The voice on the page: Do internet comments ruin everything? Something has bugged me about internet comments for years, and I've never been able to put my finger on exactly what it was... but I think I've just figured it out.<br />
<br />
I saw Jerry Seinfeld talk about the relationship between the comic and the audience, and how critics, no matter how they may try, cannot get in between their bond. The comic has a direct link, artist to audience, that cannot be interfered with. In the moment of the performance, two people are connected.<br />
<br />
Charlie Kaufman has talked about the importance of this same connection, about how hearing a voice revealing some shared truth makes us feel less alone. (You might even argue that's the function of art itself.) Stephen King has also written about what he sees as a genuine form of psychic communication, an almost magical connection, between author and audience, that allows for the sending of ideas from one brain to another.<br />
<br />
That connection, the one we all feel while experiencing a piece of art that touches us, is sacrosanct. It's important, holy, ancient. It's the deepest parts of two people having a conversation that can't be put into words. At that moment artist and audience are connected.<br />
<br />
And then someone forces their way into that conversation, sharing their opinion before you've had time to fully appreciate the experience.<br />
<br />
Imagine going on a date with someone. The two of you are hoping to find a deep connection with another. Now imagine having a third-party sat nearby commenting after every sentence. Unless it lead to mutual frustration and the desire to go elsewhere, that person would completely prevent any chance of connection forming, and to me, that's often what internet comments do.<br />
<br />
Don't get me wrong, debate is important and it's healthy, but it has its time and place. Do we really need the ability to comment on <i>everything</i>? Do we really want people interfering with our deeper connection to things? I think we need time to find our own thoughts and opinions about what we've just experienced, our own connection with it, and only then can we enter a debate about it -- should we feel the need.<br />
<br />
But I worry that all this superficial conversation is just making us more lonely for a deeper connection.Johnny Walkerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13302545167970532080noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1570525113758995236.post-42551073404960016232015-04-19T20:50:00.001+01:002015-07-28T19:22:46.324+01:00"Grand Theft Auto V has stopped working" - Potential FixLike millions of others, I 've recently purchased Grand Theft Auto V for the PC, and unfortunately like many of those the game kept crashing no matter what my settings were. After looking through Windows Event Viewer, at the Application Error list, I saw the following:<br />
<br />
<pre>Faulting application name: GTA5.exe, version: 1.0.331.1, time stamp: 0x552e6cfd
Faulting module name: ICProxy64.dll, version: 2.2.7.7, time stamp: 0x5297da23
Exception code: 0xc0000417
Fault offset: 0x0000000000043430
Faulting process id: 0xfbc
Faulting application start time: 0x01d07a1d9a56e133
Faulting application path: X:\SteamLibrary\steamapps\common\Grand Theft Auto V\GTA5.exe
Faulting module path: C:\WINDOWS\system32\ICProxy64.dll
Report Id: fc235624-e610-11e4-bfa7-10bf48b8b8dc
Faulting package full name:
Faulting package-relative application ID:
</pre>
<br />
After a quick Google I discovered that <b>ICProxy64.dll</b> belonged to a program I'd installed many months prior called "<b>Identity Cloaker</b>".<br />
<br />
I never used this program (I can't even remember why I installed it), so I decided to get rid and uninstall it. I then loaded GTA V and reset my graphical settings. The game crashed.<br />
<br />
Luckily, it was just a one off. Since removing Identity Cloaker the game has worked flawlessly. If you're having problems playing Grand Theft Auto V (or Grand Theft Auto Online), and have this program installed, you should probably remove it... It may be just the thing that's causing all your problems.<br />
<br />
If not, make sure you open a support ticket at Rockstar Games. They should be able to help you, eventually.<br />
<br />
Good luck!Johnny Walkerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13302545167970532080noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1570525113758995236.post-86934346013578298212015-02-17T19:18:00.000+00:002016-06-20T17:11:37.314+01:00Becoming a billionaire in Grand Theft Auto V using BAWSAQ stock market!I'm super pleased to announce that my latest pet-project has gone live; It's a simple website designed to help players of <i>Grand Theft Auto V</i> become billionaires using the ingame BAWSAQ stock market (it's fun, you know). It began as a project to re-sharpen my coding skills after an extended break and turned into a bit of a labour of love.<br />
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<a href="http://www.gta-bawsaq-billionaire.com/" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img border="0" height="242" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEid90rMJDu2CrsPm9K-k7QSobl6sYvMrs-fIIKEARRnwppv_z2OQbEdLT1uTVc4kKtEx5fyduJ_b9sJ19Ot1JWMAtqqbYMXi9xT75P34sbUzvG27qB5ByM3xcvb9NUtYcoYjBXMP5yf5No/s1600/Capture.PNG" width="320" /></a></div>
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<a href="http://www.gta-bawsaq-billionaire.com/" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="242" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggkzD3oQcIVRSnkTjocHqHSAlZtvwosaqA-j9lFXkoB6Mh9bFx0sRtm3Y4pCJs-O-MKjXbXKRf4zATIZqIPfm_ThcAqszKjrp6C08GjFDGmkgORc1ysiD9VO2nbbIB4wmgdD7cqNgJnOU/s1600/Capture2.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
It's still early days, but I've designed it to be as simple as possible, and hopefully it will be very useful to players of <i>Grand Theft Auto</i>! New features will continue to be added, too.<br />
<br />
Visit the site: <a href="http://www.gta-bawsaq-billionaire.com/" target="_blank">http://www.gta-bawsaq-billionaire.com</a><br />
<br />
Let me know your thoughts and feedback if you use it!<br />
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<b>UPDATE</b>: The API has broken, so the site no longer functions as it should :(Johnny Walkerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13302545167970532080noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1570525113758995236.post-73650708560560766632015-02-02T12:58:00.002+00:002016-04-20T03:18:02.980+01:00All the WINGS episodes missing from Netflix/Hulu<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvG-tsBvicxbzHNa_xTdD-WvTagzCFfi8NQ-Sm_REkJUySDJ30t-Hl5eflxcJ4TTjkkON9b4rMRNU7l3MmkABTvYppEGyVdanG5l-Bx2QBHRuIMyMCstVDvisqlJ_JXp6xRgHHfDTlUtc/s1600/01tony-shalhoub-wings1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="270" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvG-tsBvicxbzHNa_xTdD-WvTagzCFfi8NQ-Sm_REkJUySDJ30t-Hl5eflxcJ4TTjkkON9b4rMRNU7l3MmkABTvYppEGyVdanG5l-Bx2QBHRuIMyMCstVDvisqlJ_JXp6xRgHHfDTlUtc/s1600/01tony-shalhoub-wings1.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
Sitcom junkie that I am, I've been watching WINGS each night to fall asleep to. It's an amusing series from the creators of the FRASIER that never found the popularity of that show (or its predecessor), but I've grown to really enjoy it. Yes, it may not have been edgy or boundary pushing, and the differences between the characters were sometimes ill defined (or subtle?), but whatever its faults may or may not be, it's still a very underrated and enjoyable show, and I was a little miffed when I discovered that Netflix doesn't have every episode on its service.<br />
<br />
In fact, it turns out that 23 episodes are missing, an entire season's worth(!), and unfortunately, due to music licensing issues, there's very little chance of them being added. The biggest shame is that they frequently feature important story-changing episodes (and WINGS was mostly very careful about keeping its backstory -- although don't ask what happened to Budd, or Lowell's kids).<br />
<br />
While watching on Netflix, did you wonder where Helen's sister, Casey, suddenly appeared from? How Brian, Casey and Antonio got a house together? Where Helen got a new cello from? What Brian did with his insurance money? It's all explained in episodes that were cut. You also missed Craig Bierko's cameo in Season 2, Kirstie Alley's "Rebecca Howe" from CHEERS in Season 4, and The Monkees's Peter Tork in Season 7 (if that's your bag). Often these were some of the best episodes, too.<br />
<br />
So here's a list of each of the episodes missing from Netflix:<br />
<br />
<b>Season 2 </b><br />
01 - The Puppet Master<br />
<div>
11 - A Terminal Christmas</div>
<div>
15 - My Brother's Back and There's Going to Be Trouble</div>
<div>
<br />
<b>Season 3 </b><br />
09 - Try to Remember the Night He Dismembered<br />
<br />
<b>Season 4 </b><br />
11- Exit Laughing<br />
15 - The Gift: Part 1<br />
16 - The Gift: Part 2<br />
17 - I Love Brian<br />
21 - Another Wedding</div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px;"><br /></span></span><b>Season 6 </b><br />
02 - Twisted Sister<br />
07 - All's Fare<br />
18 - Gone But Not Faygotten<br />
21 - The Love Life and Times of Joe and Helen</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<b>Season 7 </b><br />
06 - She's Gotta Have It</div>
<div>
<div>
10 - 'Twas The Heist Before Christmas</div>
<div>
17 - Lynch Party</div>
<div>
20 - A Tale Of Two Sister Cities</div>
<div>
23 - Life Could Be A Dream</div>
<br />
<b>Season 8 </b><br />
<div>
03 - Maybe It's You</div>
<div>
07 - Olive Or Twist</div>
<div>
15 - Fay There, Georgy Girl</div>
<div>
16 - Escape From New York</div>
<div>
17 - House Of Blues</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Unfortunately the only place these appear to be now available is on the DVD releases. Shame! (It's especially a shame because sometimes the music in question is only incidental and could be changed to anything else.)</div>
<br />
<br /></div>
Johnny Walkerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13302545167970532080noreply@blogger.com30tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1570525113758995236.post-60531634371603692132014-03-19T03:05:00.000+00:002017-12-04T22:55:34.376+00:00Woody Allen v. Mia Farrow Court DocumentsIn the recent furore sparked by Robert Weide's article, lots of damning things have been written about Woody Allen, none more so than the open letter penned by his own daughter, Dylan. With the articles going back and forth between both camps, and comments being thrown around, I found myself wanting to refer back to the court documents from the time. How did what we're hearing now relate to what was known then?<br />
<br />
Many fans of Allen's work, like myself, are interested in having solid answers, but it's clear we will probably never get them. That doesn't seem to stop people taking sides based on nothing more than an article arguing one side or another, though, and some people will always make up their minds without taking the time to research the facts, but for those who want to make as much of an informed decision as they can before coming to any conclusions, the supreme court's 1993 judgement is an important document, and one, I believe, Mia Farrow and her family wish more people would take the time to read.<br />
<br />
Unfortunately Justice Wilk's summary did not appear to be anywhere online. I was surprised by this and decided to began the slow process converting the document digitally from Farrow's book. (Of course, as soon as I was finished I immediately discovered the documents did exist online elsewhere. Doh.)<br />
<br />
It may be impossible for a bystander to speak with authority, but at least we can try to avoid ignorance. This document reveals several outright lies in Woody Allen's recent "final word" on the matter. (For example, he boldly declares that "I had been going out with Mia for 12 years and never in that time did she ever suggest to me anything resembling misconduct", when he'd been directly confronted by Farrow of looking at the child in a sexual way, and his behaviour had been characterised as "inappropriate" by the doctor involved. Vanity Fair catch several more of such lies in their article <i>10 Undeniable Facts About the Woody Allen Sexual-Abuse Allegation</i>.)<br />
<br />
Here are all the articles from both camps to date, along with the aforementioned Vanity Fair one:<br />
<ul>
<li><a href="http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2014/01/27/the-woody-allen-allegations-not-so-fast.html" target="_blank">The Woody Allen Allegations: Not So Fast</a> by Robert B. Weide (January 27, 2014)</li>
<li><a href="http://kristof.blogs.nytimes.com/2014/02/01/an-open-letter-from-dylan-farrow/" target="_blank">An Open Letter From Dylan Farrow</a> by Dylan Farrow (February 1, 2014)</li>
<li>"I love and support my sister and I think her words speak for themselves." <a href="https://twitter.com/RonanFarrow/status/430112126707843072" target="_blank">Tweeted</a> by Ronan Farrow (aka Satchel Farrow) (February 2, 2014)</li>
<li><a href="http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20783306,00.html" target="_blank">Moses Farrow Defends Woody Allen</a> by People Magazine (February 5, 2014)</li>
<li><a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2014/02/09/opinion/sunday/woody-allen-speaks-out.html?_r=0" target="_blank">Woody Allen Speaks Out</a> by Woody Allen (February 7, 2014)</li>
<li><a href="http://www.vanityfair.com/online/daily/2014/02/woody-allen-sex-abuse-10-facts" target="_blank">10 Undeniable Facts About the Woody Allen Sexual-Abuse Allegation</a> by Vanity Fair (February 7, 2014)</li>
</ul>
<div>
Personally, I think that if you're going to share your opinion on this matter publicly, I think you owe it to the parties involved to at least familiarize yourself with the facts.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Some quick information on the people involved:</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<i>Dylan Farrow</i> - Mia Farrow's adopted daughter, with whom Woody Allen assumed a parental role. Aged 7 at the time of these proceedings.</div>
<div>
<i>Satchel Farrow</i> - Woody Allen's biological son. Now known as Ronan. Aged 5 at the time of these proceedings.</div>
<div>
<i>Moses Farrow</i> - Mia Farrow's adopted son. Aged 15 at the time of these proceedings.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
The court case was Allen's seemingly frivolous and hurtful attempt at gaining sole custody of the above children.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Basic timeline:</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
January 13, 1992 - Mia Farrow discovers that Allen is having an affair with Soon-Yi. They break up.</div>
<div>
August 4, 1992 - The alleged sexual molestation took place.</div>
<div>
August 6, 1992 - Woody Allen is informed of the allegations.</div>
<div>
August 13, 1992 - Allen files for sole custody of the three children.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<a href="http://www.thunderpeel2001.com/files/Allen-v-Farrow.pdf" target="_blank">Download the court document in PDF format here</a>.<br />
<br />
<hr />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<em><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif;">I have reproduced the state supreme court decision in its entirety,
which perhaps is an unusual document in a memoir. My purpose, however, in doing
so is to reassure the reader that extracts from it have not distorted what was
decided by the Court. This decision was upheld in the Appellate Division, First
Department, and the New York City Court of Appeals. Furthermore, incidents
reported prior to the custody trial were included in the testimony at that
trial.<o:p></o:p></span></em></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<em><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></em></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<em><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif;">Mia Farrow, “What Falls Away” (1997). <o:p></o:p></span></em></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<em><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></em></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 18.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-size: 26.0pt;">Allen
v. Farrow (1993) - Justice Wilk</span><i><span style="font-size: 18pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-variant: small-caps; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><br />Supreme Court: The New York County<br />
Individual Assignment Part 6<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-variant: small-caps; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">Woody Allen, Petitioner<br />
- against –<br />
Maria Villiers Farrow, also known as, Mia Farrow<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-variant: small-caps; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">Elliot Wilk, J.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: right;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-variant: small-caps; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">SU24A<br />
Index No. 68738/92<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div class="MsoTitle">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 18.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-size: 26.0pt;">Introduction<o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">On August
13, 1992, seven days after he learned that his seven-year-old daughter Dylan
had accused him of sexual abuse, Woody Allen began this action against Mia
Farrow to obtain custody of Dylan, their five-year-old son Satchel, and their
fifteen-year-old son Moses. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">As mandated
by law, Dr. V. Kavirajan, the Connecticut pediatrician to whom Dylan repeated
her accusation, reported the charge to the Connecticut State Police. In
furtherance of their investigation to determine if a criminal prosecution
should be pursued against Mr. Allen, the Connecticut State Police referred
Dylan to the Child Sexual Abuse Clinic of Yale-New Haven Hospital. According to
Yale-New Haven, the two major questions posed to them were: "Is Dylan
telling the truth, and did we think that she was sexually abused?" On
March 17, 1993, Yale-New Haven issued a report which concluded that Mr. Allen
had not sexually abused Dylan. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">This trial
began on March 19, 1993. Among the witnesses called by petitioner were Mr.
Allen; Ms. Farrow; Dr. Susan Coates, a clinical psychologist who treated
Satchel; Dr. Nancy Schultz, a clinical psychologist who treated Dylan; and Dr.
David Brodzinsky, a clinical psychologist who spoke with Dylan and Moses
pursuant to his assignment in a related Surrogate's Court proceeding. Dr. John
Leventhal, a pediatrician who was part of the three-member Yale-New Haven team,
testified by deposition. Ms. Farrow called Dr. Stephen Herman, a clinical
psychiatrist, who commented on the Yale-New Haven report. What follows are my findings
of fact. Where statements or observations are attributed to witnesses, they are
adopted by me as findings of fact.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 9pt; line-height: 115%;">* I acknowledge the assistance of Analisa Torres in the preparation of
this opinion.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 9pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
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<div class="MsoTitle">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 18.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-size: 26.0pt;">Findings of Fact<o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Mr. Allen
is a fifty-seven year old film maker. He has been divorced twice. Both marriages
were childless. Ms. Farrow is forty-eight years old. She is an actress who has
performed in many of Mr. Allen’s movies. Her first marriage, at age twenty-one,
ended in divorce two years later. Shortly thereafter, she married Andre Previn,
with whom she had six children, three biological and three adopted. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Matthew and
Sascha Previn, twenty-three years old were born on February 26, 1970. The birth
Year of Soon-Yi Previn is believed to be 1970 or 1972. She was born in Korea
and was adopted in 1977. Lark Previn, twenty years old, was born on February
15, 1973. Fletcher Previn, nineteen years old, was born on March 14, 1974.
Daisy Previn, eighteen years old, was born on October 6, 1974. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">After eight
years of marriage, Ms. Farrow and Mr. Previn were divorced. Ms. Farrow retained
custody of the children. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Mr. Allen
and Ms. Farrow met in 1980, a few months after Ms. Farrow had adopted Moses
Farrow, who was born on January 27, 1978. Mr. Allen preferred that Ms. Farrow's
children not be a part of their lives together. Until 1985, Mr. Allen had
"virtually a single person's relationship" with Ms. Farrow and viewed
her children as an encumbrance. He had no involvement with them and no interest
in them. Throughout their relationship, Mr. Allen has maintained his residence
on the east side of Manhattan and Ms. Farrow has lived with her children on the
west side of Manhattan. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">In 1984,
Ms. Farrow expressed a desire to have a child with Mr. Allen. He resisted,
fearing that a young child would reduce the time that they had available for
each other. Only after Ms. Farrow promised that the child would live with her
and that Mr. Allen need not be involved with the child's care or upbringing,
did he agree.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">After six
months of unsuccessful attempts to become pregnant, and with Mr. Allen's
lukewarm support, Ms. Farrow decided to adopt a child. Mr. Allen chose not to
participate in the adoption and Ms. Farrow was the sole adoptive parent. On
July 11, 1985, the newborn Dylan joined the Farrow household. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Mr. Allen's
attitude toward Dylan changed a few months after the adoption. He began to
spend some mornings and evenings at Ms. Farrow's apartment in order to be with
Dylan. He visited at Ms. Farrow's country home in Connecticut and accompanied
the Farrow-Previn family on extended vacations to Europe in 1987, 1988 and
1989. He remained aloof from Ms. Farrow's other children except for Moses, to
whom he was cordial. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">In 1986,
Ms. Farrow suggested the adoption of another child. Mr. Allen, buoyed by his
developing affection for Dylan, was enthusiastic. Before another adoption could
be arranged, Ms. Farrow became pregnant with Satchel. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">During Ms.
Farrow's pregnancy, Mr. Allen did not touch her stomach, listen to the fetus,
or try to feel it kick. Because Mr. Allen had shown no interest in her
pregnancy and because Ms. Farrow believed him to be squeamish about the
delivery process, her friend Casey Pascal acted as her Lamaze coach. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">A few
months into the pregnancy, Ms. Farrow began to withdraw from Mr. Allen. After
Satchel's birth, which occurred on December 19, 1987, she grew more distant
from Mr. Allen. Ms. Farrow's attention to Satchel also reduced the time she had
available for Dylan. Mr. Allen began to spend more time with Dylan and to
intensify his relationship with her. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">By then,
Ms. Farrow had become concerned with Mr. Allen's behavior toward Dylan. During
a trip to Paris, when Dylan was between two and three years old, Ms. Farrow
told Mr. Allen that "[y]ou look at her [Dylan] in a sexual way. You
fondled her. It's not natural. You're all over her. You don't give her any
breathing room. You look at her when she's naked."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Her
apprehension was fueled by the intensity of the attention Mr. Allen lavished on
Dylan, and by his spending play-time in bed with her, by his reading to her in
his bed while dressed in his undershorts, and by his permitting her to suck on
his thumb. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Ms. Farrow
testified that Mr. Allen was overly attentive and demanding of Dylan's time and
attention. He was aggressively affectionate, providing her with little space of
her own and with no respect for the integrity of her body. Ms. Farrow, Casey
Pascal, Sophie Raven (Dylan's French tutor), and Dr. Coates testified that Mr.
Allen focused on Dylan to the exclusion of her siblings, even when Satchel and
Moses were present. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">In June
1990, the parties became concerned with Satchel's behavior and took him to see
Dr. Coates, with whom he then began treatment. At Dr. Coates' request, both
parents participated in Satchel's treatment. In the fall of 1990, the parties
asked Dr. Coates to evaluate Dylan to determine if she needed therapy. During
the course of the evaluation, Ms. Farrow expressed her concern to Dr. Coates
that Mr. Allen's behavior with Dylan was not appropriate. Dr. Coates observed:</span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span lang="EN-US">I
understood why she was worried, because it [Mr. Allen's relationship with
Dylan] was intense, … I did not see it as sexual, but I saw it as inappropriately
intense because it excluded everybody else, and it placed a demand on a child
for a kind of acknowledgment that I felt should not be placed on a child …</span></blockquote>
<div class="MsoNormal">
She
testified that she worked with Mr. Allen to help him to understand that his
behavior with Dylan was inappropriate had to be modified. Dr. Coates also
recommended and that Dylan enter therapy with Dr. Schultz, with whom Dylan
began treatment in April 1991.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">In 1991,
Ms. Farrow expressed a desire to adopt another child. Mr. Allen, who had begun
to believe that Ms. Farrow was growing more remote from him and that she might discontinue
his access to Dylan, said that he would not take "a lousy attitude towards
it" if, in return, Ms. Farrow would sponsor his adoption of Dylan and
Moses. She said that she agreed after Mr. Allen assured her that "he would
not take Dylan for sleep-overs . . . unless I was there. And that if, God
forbid, anything should happen to our relationship, that he would never seek
custody." The adoptions were concluded in December 1991. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Until 1990,
although he had had little contact with any of the Previn children, Mr. Allen
had the least to do with Soon-Yi. "She was someone who didn't like me. I
had no interest in her, none whatsoever. She was a quiet person who did her
work. I never spoke to her." In 1990, Mr. Allen, who had four season
tickets to the New York Knicks basketball games, was asked by Soon-Yi if she
could go to a game. Mr. Allen agreed. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">During the
following weeks, when Mr. Allen visited Ms. Farrow's home, he would say hello
to Soon-Yi, "which is something I never did in the years prior, but no
conversations with her or anything." <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Soon-Yi
attended more basketball games with Mr. Allen. He testified that
"gradually, after the basketball association, we became more friendly. She
opened up to me more." By 1991 they were discussing her interests in
modeling, art, and psychology. She spoke of her hopes and other aspects of her
life. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">In
September 1991, Soon-Yi entered Drew College in New Jersey. She was naive,
socially inexperienced and vulnerable. Mr. Allen testified that she was lonely
and unhappy at school, and that she began to speak daily with him by telephone.
She spent most weekends at home with Ms. Farrow. There is no evidence that
Soon-Yi told Ms. Farrow either that she was lonely or that she had been in
daily communication with Mr. Allen.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">On January
13, 1992, while in Mr. Allen’s apartment, Ms. Farrow discovered six nude
photographs of Soon-Yi which had been left on the mantelpiece. She is posed
reclining on a couch with her legs spread apart. Ms. Farrow telephoned Mr.
Allen to confront him with her discovery of the photographs. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Ms. Farrow
returned home, showed the photographs to Soon-Yi and said, "What have you
done?" She left the room before Soon-Yi answered. During the following
weekend, Ms. Farrow hugged Soon-Yi and said that she loved her and did not
blame her. Shortly thereafter, Ms. Farrow asked Soon-Yi how long she had been
seeing Mr. Allen. When Soon-Yi referred to her sexual relationship with Mr.
Allen, Ms. Farrow hit her on the side of the face and on the shoulders.<sup>1</sup>
Ms. Farrow also told her older children what she had learned. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<sup><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 9pt; line-height: 115%;">1</span></sup><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 9pt; line-height: 115%;"> Ms. Farrow has commenced an action in the Surrogate's Court to vacate
Mr. Allen's adoption of Dylan and Moses. In that proceeding, she contends that
Mr. Allen began a secret affair with Soon-Yi prior to the date of the adoption.
This issue has been reserved for consideration by the Surrogate and has not
been addressed by me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 9pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">After
receiving Ms. Farrow's telephone call, Mr. Allen went to her apartment where,
he said, he found her to be "ragingly angry." She begged him to
leave. She testified that:</span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span lang="EN-US">[w]hen
he finally left, he came back less than an hour later, and I was sitting at the
table. By then, all of the children were there . . . and it was a rather silent
meal. The little ones were chatting and he walked right in and he sat right
down at the table as if nothing had happened and starts chatting with . . . the
two little ones, said hi to everybody. And one by one the children [Lark,
Daisy, Fletcher, Moses and Sascha] took their plates and left. And I'd, I
didn't know what to do. And then I went out. </span></blockquote>
<div class="MsoListParagraph">
Within the
month, both parties retained counsel and attempted to negotiate a settlement of
their differences. In an effort to pacify Ms. Farrow, Mr. Allen told her that
he was no longer seeing Soon-Yi. This was untrue. A temporary arrangement
enabled Mr. Allen to visit regularly with Dylan and Satchel but they were not
permitted to visit at his residence. In addition, Ms. Farrow asked for his
assurance that he would not seek custody of Moses, Dylan or Satchel.</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">On February
3, 1992, both parties signed documents in which it was agreed that Mr. Allen
would waive custodial rights to Moses, Dylan and Satchel if Ms. Farrow
predeceased him. On the same day, Mr. Allen signed a second document, which he
did not reveal to Ms. Farrow, in which he disavowed the waiver, claiming that
it was a product of duress and coercion and stating that "I have no
intention of abiding by it and have been advised that it will not hold up
legally and that at worst I can revoke it unilaterally at will." <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">In February
1992, Ms. Farrow gave Mr. Allen a family picture Valentine with skewers through
the hearts of the children and a knife through the heart of Ms. Farrow. She
also defaced and destroyed several photographs of Mr. Allen and of Soon-Yi. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">In July
1992, Ms. Farrow had a birthday party for Dylan at her Connecticut home. Mr.
Allen came and monopolized Dylan's time and attention. After Mr. Allen retired
to the guest room for the night, Ms. Farrow affixed to his bathroom door, a
note which called Mr. Allen a child molester. The reference was to his affair
with Soon-Yi. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">In the
summer of 1992, Soon-Yi was employed as a camp counselor. During the third week
of July, she telephoned Ms. Farrow to tell her that she had quit her job. She
refused to tell Ms. Farrow where she was staying. A few days later, Ms. Farrow
received a letter from the camp advising her that: <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span lang="EN-US">[it]
is with sadness and regret that we had to ask Soon-Yi to leave camp midway
through the first camp session … Throughout the entire orientation period and
continuing during camp, Soon-Yi was constantly involved with telephone calls.
Phone calls from a gentleman whose name is Mr. Simon seemed to be her primary
focus and hits definitely detracted from her concentration on being a
counselor.</span></blockquote>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Mr. Simon
was Woody Allen. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">On August
4, 1992, Mr. Allen travelled to Ms. Farrow's Connecticut vacation home to spend
time with his children. Earlier in the day, Casey Pascal had come for a visit
with her three young children and their babysitter, Alison Stickland. Ms.
Farrow and Ms. Pascal were shopping when Mr. Allen arrived. Those present were
Ms. Pascal's three children; Ms. Stickland; Kristie Groteke, a babysitter
employed by Ms. Farrow; Sophie Berge, a French tutor for the children; Dylan;
and Satchel. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Ms. Farrow
had previously instructed Ms. Groteke that Mr. Allen was not to be left alone
with Dylan. For a period of fifteen or twenty minutes during the afternoon, Ms.
Groteke was unable to locate Mr. Allen or Dylan. After looking for them in the
house, she assumed that they were outside with the others. But neither Ms.
Berge nor Ms. Stickland was with Mr. Allen or Dylan. Ms. Groteke made no
mention of this to Ms. Farrow on August 4. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">During a
different portion of the day, Ms. Stickland went to the television room in
search of one of Ms. Pascal's children. She observed Mr. Allen kneeling in
front of Dylan with his head on her lap, facing her body. Dylan was sitting on
the couch staring vacantly in the direction of a television set. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">After Ms.
Farrow returned home, Ms. Berge noticed that Dylan was not wearing anything
under her sundress. She told asked Ms. Groteke to put underpants on Dylan. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Ms. Stickland
testified that during the evening of August 4, she told Ms. Pascal, “I had seen
something at Mia’s that day that was bothering me.” She revealed what she had
seen in the television room. On August 5, Ms. Pascal telephoned Ms. Farrow to
tell her what Ms. Stickland had observed. Ms. Farrow testified that after she
hung up the telephone, she asked Dylan, who was sitting next to her,
"whether it was true that daddy had his face in her lap yesterday."
Ms. Farrow testified:</span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span lang="EN-US">Dylan
said yes. And then she said that she didn't like it one bit, no, he was breathing
into her, into her legs, she said. And that he was holding her around the waist
and I said, why didn't you get up and she said she tried to but that he put his
hands underneath her and touched her. And she showed me where . . . Her behind.
</span></blockquote>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Because she
was already uncomfortable with Mr. Allen's inappropriate behavior toward Dylan
and because she believed that her concerns were not being taken seriously
enough by Dr. Schultz and Dr. Coates, Ms. Farrow videotaped Dylan's statements.
Over the next twenty-four hours, Dylan told Ms. Farrow that she had been with
Mr. Allen in the attic and that he had touched her privates with his finger. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">After
Dylan's first comments, Ms. Farrow telephoned her attorney for guidance. She
was advised to bring Dylan to her pediatrician, which she did immediately.
Dylan did not repeat the accusation of sexual abuse during this visit and Ms.
Farrow was advised to return with Dylan on the following day. On the trip home,
she explained to her mother that she did not like talking about her privates.
On August 6, when Ms. Farrow went back to Dr. Kavirajan's office, Dylan
repeated that she had told her mother on August 5. A medical examination
conducted on August 9 showed no physical evidence of sexual abuse. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Although
Dr. Schultz was vacationing in Europe, Ms. Farrow telephoned her daily for
advice. Ms. Farrow also notified Dr. Coates, who was still treating Satchel.
She said to Dr. Coates, "it sounds very convincing to me, doesn't it to
you. It is so specific. Let's hope it is her fantasy." Dr. Coates immediately
notified Mr. Allen of the child’s accusation and then contacted the New York
City Child Welfare Administration. Seven days later, during a meeting of the
lawyers at which settlement discussions were taking place, Mr. Allen began this
action for custody. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Dr. Schultz
returned from vacation on August 16. She was transported to Connecticut in Mr.
Allen's chauffeured limousine on August 17, 18 and 21 for therapy sessions with
Dylan. Dylan, who had become increasingly resistant to Dr. Schultz, did not
want to see her. During the third session, Dylan and Satchel put glue in Dr.
Schultz's hair, cut her dress and told her to go away.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">On August
24 and 27, Ms. Farrow expressed to Dr. Schultz her anxiety about Dr. Schultz
continuing to see Mr. Allen, who had already brought suit for custody of Dylan.
She asked if Dr. Schultz would<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span lang="EN-US">. .
. please not come for a while until all of this is settled down because . . . I
couldn't trust anybody. And she said she understood completely . . . And soon
after that . . . I learned that Dr. Schultz had told [New York] child welfare
that Dylan had not reported anything to her. And then a week later, either her
lawyer or Dr. Schultz called [New York] child welfare and said she just
remembered that Dylan had told her that Mr. Allen had put a finger in her
vagina. When I heard that I certainly didn't trust Dr. Schultz.</span></blockquote>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Dr. Schultz
testified that on August 19, Paul Williams of the New York Child Welfare
Administration asked about her experience with Dylan. She replied that on
August 17, Dylan started to tell her what had happened with Mr. Allen but she
needed more time to explore this with Dylan. On August 27, she spoke more fully
to Mr. Williams about her August 17 session with Dylan and speculated about the
significance of what Dylan reported. Mr. Williams testified that on August 19,
Dr. Schultz told him that Dylan had not made any statements to her about sexual
abuse. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Ms. Farrow
did not immediately resume Dylan's therapy because the Connecticut State Police
had requested that she not be in therapy during the investigation. Also, it was
not clear if the negotiated settlement that the parties were continuing to
pursue would include Mr. Allen's participation in the selection of Dylan's new
therapist. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Dr. Coates
continued to treat Satchel through the fall of 1992. Ms. Farrow expressed to
Dr. Coates her unease with the doctor seeing Mr. Allen in conjunction with
Satchel's therapy. On October 29, 1992, Ms. Farrow requested that Dr. Coates
treat Satchel without the participation of Mr. Allen. Dr. Coates declined,
explaining that she did not believe that she could treat Satchel effectively
without the full participation of both parents. Satchel's therapy with Dr.
Coates was discontinued on November 28, 1992. At Ms. Farrow's request, Dr.
Coates recommended a therapist to continue Satchel's therapy. Because of a
conflict, the therapist recommended by Dr. Coates was unable to treat Satchel.
He did, however, provide the name of another therapist with whom Satchel is
currently in treatment. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">On December
30, 1992, Dylan was interviewed by a representative of the Connecticut State
Police. She told them—at a time Ms. Farrow calculates to be the fall of
1991—that while at Mr. Allen's apartment, she saw him and Soon-Yi having sex.
Her reporting was childlike but graphic. She also told the police that Mr.
Allen had pushed her face into a plate of hot spaghetti and had threatened to
do it again. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Ten days
before Yale-New Haven concluded its investigation, Dylan told Ms. Farrow, for
the first time, that in Connecticut, while she was climbing up the ladder to a
bunk bed, Mr. Allen put his hands under her shorts and touched he Ms. Farrow
testified that as Dylan said this, "she was illustrating graphically where
in the genital area.''<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div style="border-bottom: solid #4F81BD 1.0pt; border: none; mso-border-bottom-themecolor: accent1; mso-element: para-border-div; padding: 0cm 0cm 4.0pt 0cm;">
<div class="MsoTitle">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 18.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-size: 26.0pt;">Conclusions<o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
<h1>
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-size: small;">A) Woody Allen</span><o:p></o:p></span></h1>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Mr. Allen
has demonstrated no parenting skills that would qualify him as an adequate
custodian for Moses, Dylan or Satchel. His financial contributions to the
children's support, his willingness to read to them, to tell them stories, to
buy them presents, and to oversee their breakfasts, do not compensate for his
absence as a meaningful source of guidance and caring in their lives. These contributions
do not excuse his evident lack of familiarity with the most basic details of
their day-to-day existences. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">He did not
bathe his children. He did not dress them, except from time to time, and then
only to help them put on their socks and jackets. He knows little of Moses'
history, except that he has cerebral palsy; he does not know if he has a
doctor. He does not know the name of Dylan and Satchel's pediatrician. He does
not know the names of Moses' teachers or about his academic performance. He does
not know the name of the children's dentist. He does not know the names of his
children's friends. He does not know the names of any of their many pets. He
does not know which children shared bedrooms. He attended parent-teacher
conferences only when asked to do so by Ms. Farrow. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Mr. Allen
has even less knowledge about his children's siblings, with whom he seldom
communicated. He apparently did not pay enough attention to his own children to
learn from them about their brothers and sisters. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Mr. Allen
characterized Ms. Farrow's home as a foster care compound and drew distinctions
between her biological and adopted children. When asked how he felt about
sleeping with his children's sister, he responded that "she [Soon-Yi] was
an adopted child and Dylan was an adopted child." He showed no
understanding that the bonds developed between adoptive brothers and sisters
are no less worthy of respect and protection than those between biological
siblings. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Mr. Allen's
reliance on the affidavit which praises his parenting skills, submitted by Ms.
Farrow in connection with his petition to adopt Moses and Dylan, is misplaced.
Its ultimate probative value will be determined in the pending Surrogate's
Court proceeding. In the context of the facts and circumstances of this action,
I accord it little weight. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">None of the
witnesses who testified on Mr. Allen's behalf provided credible evidence that
he is an appropriate custodial parent. Indeed, none would venture an opinion
that he should be granted custody. When asked, even Mr. Allen could not provide
an acceptable reason for a change in custody. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">His
counsel's last question of him on direct examination was, "Can you tell
the Court why you are seeking custody of your children?" Mr. Allen's
response was a rambling <em><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">non sequitur</span></em>
which consumed eleven pages of transcript. He said that he did not want to take
the children away from Ms. Farrow; that Ms. Farrow maintained a non-traditional
household with biological children and adopted children from all over the
world; that Soon-Yi was fifteen years older than Dylan and seventeen years
older than Satchel; that Ms. Farrow was too angry with Mr. Allen to resolve the
problem; and that with him, the children "will be responsibly
educated" and "their day-to-day behavior will be done in consultation
with their therapist." The most relevant portions of the response — that
he is a good father and that Ms. Farrow intentionally turned the children
against him — I do not credit. Even if he were correct, under the circumstances
of this case, it would be insufficient to warrant a change of custody. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Mr. Allen's
deficiencies as a custodial parent are magnified by his affair with Soon-Yi. As
Ms. Farrow's companion, he was a frequent visitor at Soon-Yi's home. He accompanied
the Farrow-Previns on extended family vacations and he is the father of
Soon-Yi's siblings, Moses, Dylan and Satchel. The fact that Mr. Allen ignored
Soon- Yi for ten years cannot change the nature of the family constellation and
does not create a distance sufficient to convert their affair into a benign
relationship between two consenting adults. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Mr. Allen
admits that he never considered the consequences of his behavior with Soon-Yi.
Dr. Coates and Dr. Brodzinsky testified that Mr. Allen still fails to
understand that what he did was wrong. Having isolated Soon-Yi from her family,
he left her with no visible support system. He had no consideration for the
consequences to her, to Ms. Farrow, to the Previn children for whom he cared
little, or to his own children for whom he professes love. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Mr. Allen's
response to Dylan's claim of sexual abuse was an attack upon Ms. Farrow, whose
parenting ability and emotional stability he impugned without the support of
any significant credible evidence. His trial strategy has been to separate his
children from their brothers and sisters; to turn the children against their
mother; to divide adopted children from biological children; to incite the
family against their household help; and to set household employees against
each other. His self-absorption, his lack of judgment and his commitment to the
continuation of his divisive assault, thereby impeding the healing of the
injuries that he has already caused, warrant a careful monitoring of his future
contact with the children. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<h1>
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-size: small;">B) Mia Farrow </span><o:p></o:p></span></h1>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Few
relationships and fewer families can easily bear the microscopic examination to
which Ms. Farrow and her children have been subjected. It is evident that she
loves children and has devoted a significant portion of her emotional and
material wealth to their upbringing. When she is not working she attends to her
children. Her weekends and summers are in Connecticut with her children. She
does not take spent extended vacations unaccompanied by her children. She is
sensitive to the needs of her children, respectful of their opinions, honest
with them and quick to address their problems. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Mr. Allen
elicited trial testimony that Ms. Farrow favored her biological children over
her adopted children; that she manipulated Dylan's sexual abuse complaint, in
part through the use of leading questions and the videotape; that she
discouraged Dylan and Satchel from maintaining a relationship with Mr. Allen;
that she overreacted to Mr. Allen's affair with Soon-Yi; and that she
inappropriately exposed Dylan and Satchel to the turmoil created by the
discovery of the affair. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">The
evidence at trial established that Ms. Farrow is a caring and loving mother who
has provided a home for both her biological and her adopted children. There is
no credible evidence that she unfairly distinguished among her children or that
she favored some at the expense of others. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">I do not
view the Valentine's Day card, the note affixed to the bathroom door in
Connecticut, or the destruction of photographs as anything more than
expressions of Ms. Farrow's understandable anger and her ability to communicate
her distress by word and symbol rather than by action. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">There is no
credible evidence to support Mr. Allen's contention that Ms. Farrow coached
Dylan or that Ms. Farrow acted upon a desire for revenge against him for
seducing Soon-Yi. Mr. Allen's resort to the stereotypical "woman
scorned" defense is an injudicious attempt to divert attention from his
failure to act as a responsible parent and adult. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Ms.
Farrow's statement to Dr. Coates that she hoped that Dylan's statements were a
fantasy is inconsistent with the notion of brainwashing. In this regard, I also
credit the testimony of Ms. Groteke, who was charged with supervising Mr.
Allen's August 4 visit with Dylan. She testified that she did not tell Ms.
Farrow, until after Dylan's statement of August 5, that Dylan and Mr. Allen
were unaccounted for during fifteen or twenty minutes on August 4. It is highly
unlikely that Ms. Farrow would have encouraged Dylan to accuse her father of
having sexually molested her during a period in which Ms.</span><span lang="EN-US"> </span><span lang="EN-US">Farrow
believed they were in the presence of a babysitter. Moreover, I do not believe
that Ms. Farrow would have exposed her daughter and her other children to the
consequences of the Connecticut investigation and this litigation if she did not
believe the possible truth of Dylan's accusation. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">In a
society 'where children are too often betrayed by adults who ignore or
disbelieve their complaints of abuse, Ms. Farrow's determination to protect
Dylan is commendable. Her decision to videotape Dylan's statements, although
inadvertently compromising the sexual abuse investigation, was understandable. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Ms. Farrow
is not faultless as a parent. It seems probable, although there is no credible
testimony to this effect, that prior to the affair with Mr. Allen, Soon-Yi was
experiencing problems for which Ms. Farrow was unable to provide adequate
support. There is also evidence that there were problems with her relationships
with Dylan and Satchel. We do not, however, demand perfection as a
qualification for parenting. Ironically, Ms. Farrow's principal shortcoming
with respect to responsible parenting appears to have been her continued
relationship with Mr. Allen. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Ms. Farrow
reacted to Mr. Allen's behavior with her children with a balance of appropriate
caution, and flexibility. She brought her early concern with Mr. Allen s
relationship with Dylan to Dr. Coates and was comforted by the doctor's
assurance that Mr. Allen was working to correct his behavior with the child. Even
after January 13, 1992, Ms. Farrow continued to provide Mr. Allen with access
to her home and to their children, as long as the visits were supervised by a
responsible adult. She did her best, although with limited success, to shield
her younger children from the turmoil generated by Mr. Allen's affair with
Soon-Yi. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Ms.
Farrow's refusal to permit Mr. Allen to visit with Dylan after August 4, 1992
was prudent. Her willingness to allow Satchel to have regular supervised
visitation with Mr. Allen reflects her understanding of the propriety of balancing
Satchel's need for contact with his father against the danger of Mr. Allen's
lack of parental judgment. Ms. Farrow also recognizes that Mr. Allen and not
Soon-Yi is the person responsible for their affair and its impact upon her
family. She has communicated to Soon-Yi that she continues to be a welcome
member of the Farrow-Previn home. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<h1>
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-size: small;">C) Dylan Farrow </span><o:p></o:p></span></h1>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Mr. Allen's
relationship with Dylan remains unresolved. The evidence suggests that it is
unlikely that he could be successfully prosecuted for sexual abuse. I am less
certain, however, than is the Yale-New Haven team, that the evidence proves
conclusively that there was no sexual abuse. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Both Dr.
Coates and Dr. Schultz expressed their opinions that Mr. Allen did not sexually
abuse Dylan. Neither Dr. Coates nor Dr. Schultz has expertise in the field of
child sexual abuse. I believe that the opinions of Dr. Coates and Dr. Schultz
may have been colored by their loyalty to Mr. Allen. I also believe that
therapists would have a natural reluctance to accept the possibility that an
act of sexual abuse occurred on their watch. I have considered their opinions,
but do not find their testimony to be persuasive with respect to sexual abuse
or visitation. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">I have also
considered the report of the Yale-New Haven team and the deposition testimony
of Dr. John M. Leventhal. The Yale-New Haven investigation was conducted over a
six-month period by Dr. Leventhal, a pediatrician; Dr. Julia Hamilton, who has
a Ph.D. in social work; and Ms. Jennifer Sawyer, who has a master's degree in
social work. Responsibility for different aspects of the investigation was
divided among the team. The notes of the team members were destroyed prior to
the issuance of the report, which, presumably, is an amalgamation of their
independent impressions and observations. The unavailability of the notes,
together with their unwillingness to testify at this trial except through the
deposition of Dr. Leventhal, compromised my ability to scrutinize their
findings and resulted in a report which was sanitized and, therefore, less
credible. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Dr. Stephen
Herman, a clinical psychiatrist who has extensive familiarity with child abuse
cases, was called as a witness by Ms. Farrow to comment on the Yale-New Haven
report. I share his reservations about the reliability of the report. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Dr. Herman
faulted the Yale-New Haven team (1) for making visitation recommendations
without seeing the parent interact with the child; (2) for failing to support
adequately their conclusion that Dylan has a thought disorder; (3) for drawing
any conclusions about Satchel, whom they never saw; (4) for finding that there
was no abuse when the supporting data was inconclusive; and (5) for
recommending that Ms. Farrow enter into therapy. In addition, I do not think
that it was appropriate for Yale-New Haven, without notice to the parties or
their counsel, to exceed its mandate and make observations and recommendations
which might have an impact on existing litigation in another jurisdiction. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Unlike
Yale-New Haven, I am not persuaded that the videotape of Dylan is the product
of leading questions or of the child's fantasy. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Richard
Marcus, a retired New York City police officer, called by Mr. Allen, testified
that he worked with the police sex crimes unit for six years. He claimed to
have an intuitive ability to know if a person is truthful or not. He concluded,
"based on my experience," that Dylan lacked credibility. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">I did not
find his testimony to be insightful. I agree with Dr. Herman and Dr. Brodzinsky
that we will probably never know what occurred on August 4, 1992. The credible
testimony of Ms. Farrow, Dr. Coates, Dr. Leventhal and Mr. Allen does, however,
prove that Mr. Allen's behavior toward Dylan was grossly inappropriate and that
measures must be taken to protect her.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<h1>
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-size: small;">D) Satchel Farrow</span><o:p></o:p></span></h1>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Mr. Allen
had a strained and difficult relationship with Satchel during the earliest
years of the child's life. Dr. Coates testified, "Satchel would push him
away, would not acknowledge him. . . . If he would try to help Satchel getting
out of bed or going into bed, he would kick him, at times had scratched his
face. They were in trouble." Dr. Coates also testified that as an infant,
Satchel would cry when held by Mr. Allen and stop when given to Ms. Farrow. Mr.
Allen attributes this to Ms. Farrow's conscious effort to keep him apart from
the child. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Although
Ms. Farrow consumed much of Satchel's attention, and did not foster a
relationship with his father, there is no credible evidence to suggest that she
desired to exclude Mr. Allen. Mr. Allen's attention to Dylan left him with less
time and patience for Satchel. Dr. Coates attempted to teach Mr. Allen how to
interact with Satchel. She encouraged him to be more understanding of his son
when Satchel ignored him or acted bored with his gifts. Apparently, success in
this area was limited. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">In 1991, in
the presence of Ms. Farrow and Dylan, Mr. Allen stood next to Satchel's bed, as
he did every morning. Satchel screamed at him to go away. When Mr. Allen
refused to leave, Satchel kicked him. Mr. Allen grabbed Satchel's leg, started
to twist it. Ms. Farrow testified that Mr. Allen said "I'm going to break
your fucking leg." Ms. Farrow intervened and separated Mr. Allen from
Satchel. Dylan told the Connecticut State Police about this incident. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">That Mr.
Allen now wants to spend more time with Satchel is commendable. If sincere, he
should be encouraged to do so, but only under conditions that promote Satchel's
well being.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<h1>
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-size: small;">E) Moses Farrow</span><o:p></o:p></span></h1>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Mr. Allen's
interactions with Moses appear to have been superficial and more a response to
Moses’ desire for a father—in a family where Mr. Previn was the father of the
other six children—than an authentic effort to develop a relationship with the
child. When Moses asked, in 1984, if Mr. Allen would be his father, he said
"sure" but for years did nothing to make that a reality. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">They spent
time playing baseball, chess and fishing. Mr. Allen encouraged Moses to play
the clarinet. There is no evidence, however, that Mr. Allen used any of their
shared areas of interest as a foundation upon which to develop a deeper
relationship with his son. What little he offered—a baseball catch, some games
of chess, adoption papers—was enough to encourage Moses to dream of more, but
insufficient to justify a claim for custody. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">After
learning of his father's affair with his sister, Moses handed to Mr. Allen a
letter that he had written. It states: <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span lang="EN-US">…
you can't force me to live with you. …. You have done a horrible, unforgivable,
needy, ugly, stupid thing … about seeing me for lunch, you can just forget
about that … we didn't do anything wrong … All you did is spoil the little
ones, Dylan and Satchel. … Everyone knows not to have an affair with your son's
sister … I consider you my father anymore. It was a great feeling having a
father but you smashed that feeling and dream with a single act. I HOPE YOU ARE
PROUD TO CRUSH YOUR SON’S DREAM. </span></blockquote>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Mr. Allen
responded to this letter by attempting to wrest custody of Moses from his
mother. His rationale is that the letter was generated by Ms. Farrow. Moses
told Dr. Brodzinsky that he wrote the letter and that he did not intend for it
to be seen by his mother.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div style="border-bottom: solid #4F81BD 1.0pt; border: none; mso-border-bottom-themecolor: accent1; mso-element: para-border-div; padding: 0cm 0cm 4.0pt 0cm;">
<div class="MsoTitle">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 22.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-size: 26.0pt;">Custody<o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Section
240(1) of the Domestic Relations Law states that in a custody dispute, the
court must "give such direction … as… justice requires, having regard to
the circumstances of the case and of the respective parties and to the best
interests of the child." <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">The case
law of this state has made clear that the governing consideration is the best
interests of the child. <em><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Eschbach v. Eschbach</span></em>,
56 NY2d 167 (1982); <em><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Friederwitzer v.
Friederwitzer</span></em>, 55 NY2d 89 (1982). <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">The initial
custodial arrangement is critically important. "Priority, not as an
absolute but as a weighty factor, should, in the absence of extraordinary
circumstances, be accorded to the first custody awarded in litigation or by
voluntary agreement." <em><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Nehra v. Uhlar</span></em>,
43 NY2d 242, 251 (1977). <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">"[W]hen
children have been living with one parent for a long period of time and the
parties have previously agreed that custody shall remain in that parent, their
agreement should prevail and custody should be continued unless it is demonstrated
that the custodial parent is unfit or perhaps less fit (citations
omitted)." <em><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Martin v. Martin</span></em>, 74 AD2d 419, 426
(4th Dept 1980). <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">After
considering Ms. Farrow's position as the sole care-taker of the children, the
satisfactory fashion in which she has fulfilled that function, the parties'
pre-litigation acceptance that she continue in that capacity, and Mr. Allen's
serious parental inadequacies, it is clear that the best interests of the
children will be served by their continued custody with Ms. Farrow.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Visitation,
like custody, is governed by a consideration of the best interests of the
child. <em><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Miriam R. v. Arthur</span></em> D.R., 85 AD2d
624 (2d Dept 1981). Absent proof to the contrary, the law presumes that
visitation is in the child's best interests. <em><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Wise v. Del Toro</span></em>,
122 AD2d 714 (1st Dept 1986). The denial of visitation to a noncustodial parent
must be accompanied by compelling reasons and substantial evidence that
visitation is detrimental to the child's welfare. <em><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Matter
of Farrugia Children</span></em>, 106 AD2d 293 (1st Dept 1984); <em><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Gowan v. Menqa</span></em>, 178 AD2d 1021 (4th
Dept 1991). If the noncustodial parent is a fit person and there are no
extraordinary circumstances, there should be reasonable visitation. <em><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Hotze v. Hotze</span></em>, 57 AD2d 85 (4th
Dept 1977), <em><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">appeal denied</span></em> 42 N12d 805. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">The
overriding consideration is the child's welfare rather than any supposed right
of the parent. <em><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Weiss v. Weiss</span></em>, 52 NY2d 170, 174-5
(1981); <em><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Hotze v. Hotze</span></em>, <em><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">supra</span></em> at 87. Visitation should be
denied where it may be inimical to the child's welfare by producing serious
emotional strain or disturbance. <em><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Hotze v. Hotze</span></em>, <em><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">supra</span></em> at 88; see also <em><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Miriam R. v. Arthur D.R.</span></em>, <em><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">supra</span></em>; </span><em><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">c</span></em><em><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif"; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">f</span></em><em><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">.</span></em><span lang="EN-US">, <em><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">State ex rel. H.K. v. M.S.</span></em>, 187
AD2d 50 (1st Dept 1993). <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">This trial
included the observations and opinions of more mental health workers than is
common to most custody litigation. The parties apparently agreed with Dr.
Herman's conclusion that another battery of forensic psychological evaluations
would not have been in the children's best interest and would have added little
to the available information. Accordingly, none was ordered. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">The common
theme of the testimony by the mental health witnesses is that Mr. Allen has
inflicted serious damage on the children and that healing is necessary. Because,
as Dr. Brodzinsky and Dr. Herman observed, this family is in an uncharted therapeutic
area, where the course is uncertain and the benefits unknown, the visitation
structure that will best promote the healing process and safeguard the children
is elusive. What is clear is that Mr. Allen's lack of judgment, insight and
impulse control make normal noncustodial visitation with Dylan and Satchel too
risky to the children's well-being to be permitted at this time. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<h1>
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-size: small;">A) Dylan </span><o:p></o:p></span></h1>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Mr. Allen's
request for immediate visitation with Dylan is denied. It is unclear whether
Mr. Allen will ever develop the insight and judgment necessary for him to
relate to Dylan appropriately. According to Dr. Brodzinsky, even if Dylan was
not sexually abused, she feels victimized by her father's relationship with her
sister. Dylan has recently begun treatment with a new therapist. Now that this
trial is concluded, she is entitled to the time and space necessary to create a
protective environment that will promote the therapeutic process. A significant
goal of that therapy is to encourage her to fulfill her individual potential,
including the resilience to deal with Mr. Allen in a manner which is not
injurious to her. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">The
therapist witnesses agree that Mr. Allen may be able to serve a positive role
in Dylan's therapy. Dr. Brodzinsky emphasized that because Dylan is quite
fragile and more negatively affected by stress than the average child, she
should visit with Mr. Allen only within a therapeutic context. This function,
he said, should be undertaken by someone other than Dylan's treating therapist.
Unless it interferes with Dylan's individual treatment or is inconsistent with
her welfare, this process is to be initiated within six months. A further
review of visitation will be considered only after we are able to evaluate the
progress of Dylan's therapy.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<h1>
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-size: small;">B) Satchel </span><o:p></o:p></span></h1>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Mr. Allen's
request for extended and unsupervised visitation with Satchel is denied. He has
been visiting regularly with Satchel, under supervised conditions, with the
consent of Ms. Farrow. I do not believe that Ms. Farrow has discouraged
Satchel's visitation with Mr. Allen or that she has, except for restricting
visitation, interfered with Satchel's relationship with his father. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Although,
absent exceptional circumstances, a non-custodial parent should not be denied
meaningful access to a child, "supervised visitation is not a deprivation
to meaningful access." <em><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Lightbourne v. Lightbourne</span></em>,
179 AD2d 562 (1st Dept 1992). <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">I do not
condition visitation out of concern for Satchel's physical safety. My caution
is the product of Mr. Allen's demonstrated inability to understand the impact
that his words and deeds have upon the emotional well being of his children. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">I believe
that Mr. Allen will use Satchel in an attempt to gain information about Dylan
and to insinuate himself into her good graces. I believe that Mr. Allen will,
if unsupervised, attempt to turn Satchel against the other members of his family.
I believe Mr. Allen to be desirous of introducing Soon-Yi into the visitation
arrangement without concern for the effect on Satchel, Soon-Yi or the other
members of the Farrow family. In short, I believe Mr. Allen to be so
self-absorbed, un-trustworthy and insensitive, that he should not be permitted
to see Satchel without appropriate professional supervision until Mr. Allen
demonstrates that supervision is no longer necessary. The supervisor should be
someone who is acceptable to both parents, who will be familiarized with the
history of this family and who is willing to remain in that capacity for a
reasonable period of time. Visitation shall be of two hours' duration, three
times weekly, and modifiable by agreement of the parties.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<h1>
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-size: small;">C) Moses</span><o:p></o:p></span></h1>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Under the
circumstances of this case, giving respect and credence to Ms. Farrow's
appreciation of her son's sensitivity and intelligence, as confirmed by Dr.
Brodzinsky, I will not require this fifteen-year-old child to visit with his
father if he does not wish to do so. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">If Moses
can be helped by seeing Mr. Allen under conditions in which Moses will not be overwhelmed,
then I believe that Ms. Farrow should and will promote such interaction. I hope
that Moses will come to understand that the fear of demons often cannot be
dispelled without first confronting them. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div style="border-bottom: solid #4F81BD 1.0pt; border: none; mso-border-bottom-themecolor: accent1; mso-element: para-border-div; padding: 0cm 0cm 4.0pt 0cm;">
<div class="MsoTitle">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 18.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-size: 26.0pt;">Counsel Fees <o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Ms.
Farrow's application for counsel fees is granted. Mr. Allen compounded the pain
that he inflicted upon the Farrow family by bringing this frivolous petition
for custody of Dylan, Satchel and Moses. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Domestic
Relations Law §237(b) provides that upon an application for custody or visitation,
the court may direct a parent to pay the counsel fees of the other parent
"as, in the court's discretion, justice requires, having regard to the
circumstances of the case and of the respective parties." <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Ms. Farrow
admits to a substantial net worth, although she is not nearly as wealthy as Mr.
Allen. Clearly, she is able to absorb the cost of this litigation, although it
has been extraordinarily expensive. However, "[i]ndigency is not a
prerequisite to an award of counsel fees (citation omitted). Rather, in exercising
its discretionary power to award counsel fees, a court should review the
financial circumstances of both parties together with all the other circumstances
of the case, which may include the relative merit of the parties' positions."
<em><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">DeCabre</span></em></span><em><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"> v. C</span></em><em><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif"; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">abrera-Rosete</span></em><span lang="EN-US">, 70 NY2d R79 881 (1987). Because
Mr. Allen's position had no merit, he will bear the entire financial, burden of
this litigation. If the parties are unable to agree on Ms. Farrows reasonable
counsel fees, a hearing will be conducted for that purpose. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Settle
judgment. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">DATED: June
7, 1993.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: right;">
<span lang="EN-US">J.S.C.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<br />Johnny Walkerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13302545167970532080noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1570525113758995236.post-57713293401597101092013-08-11T17:56:00.002+01:002013-09-10T14:21:32.412+01:00I, Partridge Tracklisting (Complete)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://i1.cdnds.net/11/34/618w_alan_partridge_bio_cover.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://i1.cdnds.net/11/34/618w_alan_partridge_bio_cover.jpg" width="129" /></a></div>
After watching ALPHA PAPA and really enjoying it, I dug out my copy of <i>I, Partridge: We Need to Talk About Alan</i> by Alan Partridge and decided to give it another read. This time I wanted to enjoy the full Partridge experience, so I compiled the recommended tracklisting from the book (all mention of which is sadly missing from the audiobook, I might add), to enhance my reading pleasure.<br />
<br />
Here's the complete* tracklisting for your enjoyment.<br />
<br />
<iframe allowtransparency="true" frameborder="0" height="380" src="https://embed.spotify.com/?uri=spotify:user:1138467418:playlist:2YUYhDSDnx1fYWSF1Abboz" width="300"></iframe>
<br />
<br />
* - Unfortunately two of the 46 tracks could not be found on Spotify, but fortunately there were some sterling-quality cover versions available. With such, ahem, "good" substitutes, who needs the originals? I'm sure Alan would approve ;)<br />
<br />
** - The two tracks were: <i>License to Kill</i> by Gladys Knight and <i>Alright Now</i> by Free.Johnny Walkerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13302545167970532080noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1570525113758995236.post-18754660755480596412013-05-18T16:12:00.000+01:002023-07-15T19:32:01.637+01:00Julie Maroh's thoughts on Blue is the Warmest Colour<div>
I recently watched <i>Blue is the Warmest Colour </i>(aka <i>La Vie d’Adele</i>) and, like many people, I was keen to hear what the author of the original comic book, Julie Maroh, had to say about the film, and its many controversies. As far as I know, she has only publically spoken of it once, and that was in a single blog post on her website, and she now declines all requests to discuss it further.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I found a few articles that took a few choice quotes out of this blog post and made stories out of them, but I wanted to read all of the author's comments in context. Unfortunately it appeared that only one English translation existed, and while it was occasionally excellent, and even linked to from Maroh's blog, it was also largely terrible. (I don't know if Maroh wrote it herself, but it seems likely that friends of hers may have done it for her, either way, it wasn't very easy to decipher.)</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
So I decided to go back to <a href="http://www.juliemaroh.com/2013/05/27/le-bleu-dadele/" target="_blank">Maroh's original blog post</a> and translate it myself (with a little help from the <a href="http://sd-4.archive-host.com/membres/up/204771422545612119/Adele_blue.pdf" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">original English translation</a> -- it was very helpful at times).</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
If you can suggest any improvements, let me know. This is the first time I've ever attempted a translation, but I do believe that, despite the bits of weirdness that still exist in this version, you get a much better idea of what she was trying to say. (Please comment if you disagree. Thanks.)</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<hr />
</div>
<h2>
<b>Adele's Blue </b></h2>
<div>
by Julie Maroh (27 May, 2013)</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<b>The Original Color</b></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
For nearly two weeks I've shied away from speaking about <i>La Vie d’Adele (</i><i>Blue is the Warmest Colour)</i>. And for good reason; as the author of the adapted book, I've gone through a process too huge and intense to easily put into words.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
This is not just about what [writer-director] Kechiche has created.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
It's about processing the impact of our actions -- about writing a silly story one summer as a 19 year old and arriving at... "this," today.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
It's about processing the desire to communicate feelings about Life, Love and Humanity as an artist, in general. It's about processing me and the choices I made.<br />
<br />
So, yes... I'm dealing with indescribable emotions to do with repercussion. About standing up and speaking, and where it can lead.</div>
<div>
<br />
What interests me is the normalization of homosexuality.<br />
<br />
I did not write a book to preach to the choir, nor was it only for lesbians. My wish from the beginning was to attract the attention of those who:<br />
<ul>
<li>had no idea</li>
<li>had misconceptions due to ignorance</li>
<li>hated me/us</li>
</ul>
I know that some are engaged in an entirely different fight: to keep this unconventional, subversive. I'm not saying I'm not ready to defend that. I'm just saying that what interests me the most is that, myself, those that I love, and all the others, should no longer be:<br />
<ul>
<li>insulted</li>
<li>rejected</li>
<li>attacked</li>
<li>raped</li>
<li>murdered</li>
</ul>
in the street, at school, at work, with family, on holidays, at home. Because of our differences.<br />
<br />
Everyone interprets and identifies with the book in their own way, but I just wanted to clarify what inspired me. The aim was also to tell the story of a romantic encounter, how a tale of love can grow, be destroyed, and what remains of the love that was awakened after a break up, mourning, death. This is what interested Kechiche.</div>
<div>
<br />
Neither of us had any intention to be activists. However I quickly saw after the publication of <i>Blue </i>in 2010, that the mere mention of a minority makes you a participant in the discussion (either for or against), whether you like it or not.<br />
<br />
<b>The Change from Comic to Movie</b><br />
<br />
Kechiche and I met before I agreed to sign away the adaptation of my book, more than two years ago. I've always had a great amount of affection and admiration for his work, but it was mostly this meeting that led me to trust him. I stated from the outset that I did not want to participate in the project, it was his film. Perhaps this is what led him to trust me in return. Never-the-less, we met several times afterwards. I remember the copy of the <i>Blue</i> he carried under his arm: there was not one centimetre of space in the margins; it was filled with his scribbled notes. There was much talk of the characters, love, pain - life basically.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
We talked about losing our Great Love. I had lost mine the previous year. When I think back to the last part of <i>La Vie d’Adele</i>, I find the salty taste of this wound.<br />
<br />
For me this adaptation is another version/vision/reality of the same story. One does not destroy the other. What came out from Kechiche's film reminded me of falling onto gravel; of the pain of skin scraping against asphalt. The film is purely <i>Kechichian, </i>with characters typical of his work. Consequently his heroine is very remote compared to mine, it's true. But what he created is coherent, justified and fluid. It's a master stroke.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Do not go see and it hoping to feel what you felt when <i>Blue</i>. You will recognize tones, but you will also find something else.<br />
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Before seeing the film in Paris, I had been warned, "It's freely adapted. Really, it's very loosely based." I was already expecting the worst. At the Quat'Sous Films office, all of the rough arrangement of the scenes were pinned up on the wall. I blinked in surprise, observing that the two-thirds of it were clearly following the progression of <i>Blue's</i> scenario. I could even recognize the shots, backgrounds, etc.<br />
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As some already know, too many hours of footage had been shot, and before Kechiche made the final cut, he removed part of the middle. Yet, being the writer of <i>Blue</i>, I still recognize my book in it. It was with a pounding heart that I recognized all the North of France, where I come from, that I had tried to transpose into my drawings, finally made ''real''. And given my introduction to this article, you can imagine how I felt seeing these shots, scenes, conversations, by actors whose features resembled my drawings, passing before my eyes.<br />
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So, whatever you might hear or read in the media (who too often get caught up with basics and ignore the details) I restate here that indeed, <i>La Vie d‘Adele</i> is the adaptation of my comic book, and that there is nothing wrong with saying so.<br />
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<b>As for the sex</b><br />
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As for the sex... Yes, the sex... Since it's been on the lips of everyone who saw the movie... It is first useful to point out that, in a three hour movie, these scenes only fill a few minutes. If we talk about it, it is only because of the director's visual emphasis on it.<br />
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I believe that Kechiche and I have opposite ideas of how beauty should presented, perhaps complementary. The way he chose to shoot these scenes is consistent with the rest of his creation. Certainly it seems to me far from my own creative tastes, but it would be very silly of me to reject something simply because it's not how I imagined it.<br />
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That was me as a writer. Now, as a lesbian...<br />
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It appears to me that this was what was missing on the set: Lesbians.</div>
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I don't know where the director and the actresses (who are all straight, unless proven otherwise) got their information, I was never consulted beforehand. Maybe someone gave them rough ideas for possible hand positions, and/or who showed them some so-called "lesbian" porn (which unfortunately is hardly ever actually for a lesbian audience). Because - except for a few instances - this is what it brought to my mind: A brutal and surgical display; a cold demonstration of lesbian sex, which turns into porn, and made me feel very ill at ease. Especially when, in the middle of a movie theatre, everyone was giggling. </div>
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The heteronormative laughed because they don't understand it and found the scene ridiculous. The gay and queer people laughed because it wasn't convincing at all, and they also found it ridiculous. And among the only people we didn't hear laughing were the guys who were too busy feasting their eyes on an incarnation of their fantasies on screen.</div>
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I understand Kechiche's intention to film pleasure. The way he shot these scenes seemed to me directly related to another scene, in which several characters talk about the myth of the female orgasm, as... mystical and far superior to the male one. But here again we sanctify women in such a way that I find dangerous.</div>
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As a feminist and lesbian spectator, I can not endorse the direction Kechiche took on these matters.<br />
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But I also want to hear what other women think; this is only my very personal opinion.<br />
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Whatever it may be, I don't see the movie as a betrayal. When it comes to adapting something, I believe that the notion of betrayal should be reconsidered. I lost the control of my book as soon as I gave it away to be read. It's an object meant to be handled, felt, interpreted.<br />
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Kechiche went through the same process as any other reader, he entered it and identified with it in a unique way. As the author, I have no control over this, and it would have never crossed my mind to expect Kechiche to go in any particular direction with this film, because it is only appropriate that -- humanly, emotionally -- it no longer belonged to me as soon as it appeared on the shelves of a bookstore.</div>
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<b>The Palme</b><br />
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This conclusion in Cannes is obviously wonderful and breathtaking.<br />
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As mentioned in my introduction, all that I have felt in the past few days have been so insane and enormous that I cannot put into words.<br />
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I remain absolutely overwhelmed, amazed, and grateful for these events.<br />
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Last night I realized this is the first time in Cinema's history that a comic book has inspired a Palme d'Or winning movie, and this idea leaves me petrified. It's a lot to carry.<br />
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I deeply wish to thank all those who appeared surprised, shocked, disgusted with the fact that Kechiche made no mention of me when he received his Palme. I have no doubt he had good reasons for not doing so, just like he certainly had for not making me more visible on the red carpet in Cannes (even though I crossed the country to join them), for not receiving me - at least for an hour - on the set, for not having someone keep me informed about the production between June 2012 and April 2013, or for not answering my emails since 2011. However, to those who reacted strongly, I want to say that I don't carry any bitterness. He hasn't mentioned it in front of the cameras, but the night of the official screening in Cannes, a few witnesses heard him say to me, "Thank you, you were the starting point", while he strongly shook my hand.<br />
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To learn more about the film, you can <a href="http://www.festival-cannes.com/assets/Image/Direct/049027.pdf">download the press release</a><br />
and on lesbian porn, <a href="http://www.buzzfeed.com/skarlan/real-lesbians-react-to-lesbian-porn">a small link</a><br />
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Johnny Walkerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13302545167970532080noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1570525113758995236.post-55251524633190502752013-05-12T15:32:00.003+01:002018-07-17T03:29:38.470+01:00George Lucas's THX 1138: Detailed Comparison of Theatrical and Director's Cuts - Part 1<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<b><i>THX 1138</i> is George Lucas's most unusual, idiosyncratic, and interesting movie. For a man synonymous with the Hollywood blockbuster, it shows a side of his work that most people would be very surprised to see. Despite being critically lauded, it's uncompromising and uncommercial nature means that not many people have seen it, and indeed, it was a flop on its original release in 1971. </b><br />
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<b>The film was Lucas's first feature, and was based on his award-winning USC student film, <i>Electronic Labyrinth: THX 1138 4EB.</i> It was produced by Francis Ford Coppolla's "American Zoetrope" productions, with investment from Warner Bros., and is filled with lots of unusual flourishes that would have never been allowed had a big studio controlled production.</b><br />
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Pulling no punches in its bleak vision of the future, <i>THX 1138</i> features televised police brutality, a masturbating Robert Duvall, government enforced drug abuse, corrupt religions, nudity, and lots of other things that would never be seen in the <i>Star Wars</i> or <i>Indiana Jones</i> universes. (Although there are some surprising ties to <i>Star Wars</i> in its technology, aesthetics and sound design.)<br />
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It's challenging, different, affecting, and if you've never seen it, I think you owe it to yourself to give it a shot.<br />
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<b>Release, Re-release and Re-re-release</b><br />
Although it was completed (and possibly premiered) in 1970, Warner Bros. released the film to American theatres in 1971, but only after insisting on five minutes of cuts. Despite some good reviews, it was an immediate flop, and it was only after the huge success of <i>Star Wars</i> in 1977, that, in an attempt to cash-in, <i>THX 1138</i> was re-released in its original, longer cut. It was this director approved version that was initially released on home video. As technically this "longer" cut was the original cut completed by George Lucas in 1970, I will often refer to it by that year (instead of 1971 or 1977).<br />
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In 2003, while preparing the release of <i>THX 1138</i> for DVD, Lucas took the time re-visit his old movie. He (perhaps unsurprisingly) spent a great deal of that year re-editing the entire film, adding CGI detail and effects, and even shooting new footage. Considering the extreme depth of these changes, it's perhaps surprising that this new version of the film (never sold as anything other than a "Director's Cut" on its 2004 debut) was met warmly by fans and critics alike. Despite the outcry that came as a result of the changes he made to <i>Star Wars</i>, nobody appear to mourn the loss of the original <i>THX 1138</i>. Maybe it's because Lucas didn't soften any of the edges of his original vision, instead just expanding the film's universe, while attempting to make it more emotionally engaging, or maybe it's just because the it didn't have as many die-hard fans.<br />
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Considering the sheer number of changes made to the film, it's perhaps astonishing that both versions manage to convey the same story so well, and indeed it's partially for this reason that I think it's worth exploring what was changed, and how it affected the storytelling.<br />
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<i>Note: This article only concerns itself with the two director approved cuts of THX 1138; The 1970/77 version and the re-cut 2004 version. (The 1971 theatrical version, with its distributor imposed cuts, is ignored.)</i><br />
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<i>THX 1138</i>'s main theme is that we are both the slaves and the jailers of a prison of our own making. Ultimately it offers an extremely cynical, but also satirical, view of Western consumerist culture. It is fuelled by anger, frustration and, like all satire, optimism. Like the character it's named after, <i>THX 1138</i> ultimately wants to shake the world free of the self-imposed shackles that bind us, and hopefully lead us to a brighter future.<br />
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Let's examine how the two versions of the film attempt to do this, while comparing the artistic changes Lucas has made.<br />
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<b>But first... <i>Buck Rogers</i>!</b><br />
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Both versions of THX 1138 open with a trailer for an episode of the 1939 serial, Buck Rogers, depicting "the wonderful world of the future".<br />
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The clip's glimpse into a Utopian future works on two levels: Firstly it's an obvious juxtaposition between what we may hope the future to be, and the bleak future about to be shown in <i>THX 1138</i>, but secondly it jolts something deeper within us. This clip wasn't staged for the <i>THX 1138</i>, it's real. <i>Buck Rogers</i> was actually enjoyed by real children (George Lucas being one of them), and their parents may have enjoyed it with them, hoping offspring might live to see such a bright future.</div>
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It encapsulates a very real innocence that we can all relate to. The wonder, joy, and optimism of the future, where anything is possible. It's no accident that it's held up to us before we watch Lucas's bleak depiction of the future because, as with most sci-fi, the world it portrays is actually our present. <i>THX 1138</i> wants to connect with contemporary frustrations, and asks if we can't just choose a better world.<br />
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So much does Lucas want us to think about the <i>present</i> day that he adds a voice-over to the trailer that proudly announces the famous <i>25th century</i> adventurer is actually exploring the futuristic <i>20th</i> <i>century </i>(a subtle change that's easy to miss). As the <i>THX 1138's </i>theatrical poster declared, "The future is here".<br />
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In Lucas's eyes, we are living in the exciting, technological future we were promised from our childhood. We are surrounded by electronic wonders that our grandparents could only dream about, but rather than finding ourselves in utopia, our humanity has been stripped away while we weren't looking. <i>THX 1138 </i>wants to explore where we are today and ask why.</div>
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<b>The Credits!</b></div>
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This doesn't alter the storytelling, but nevertheless Lucas made some changes and they are mentioned here for completeness. The Laserdisc version of the 1970 Director's Cut shows the Warner Bros. logo from the time of the Laserdisc's release in the 1980s (golden logo over idyllic blue skies). The 2004 Director's Cut restores the logo that would have been seen in 1970.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpJ0n_musCjRIUjClz3SLM3MLltF_cNvUHGdP2OGYwkewgW7T5gqr-tL38rSu0hgQPvM25oT4ZH37KjSA7CXR6g-xArF5iSG93Tumrb-NuqHVPLS8Jy_ZetuaHj8o0PekuDgz9aM_jWA4/s1600/1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; display: inline !important; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="140" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpJ0n_musCjRIUjClz3SLM3MLltF_cNvUHGdP2OGYwkewgW7T5gqr-tL38rSu0hgQPvM25oT4ZH37KjSA7CXR6g-xArF5iSG93Tumrb-NuqHVPLS8Jy_ZetuaHj8o0PekuDgz9aM_jWA4/s640/1.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
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A very minor, but unusual, change is that Hal Barwood's opening titles are changed from white to green, possibly hinting at the old CRT green computer screen technology.<br />
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The next change is to the "blocks" that form the opening images of security guards "helping" a beaten detainee. As you can see, the newer version (again, on the right) has video scan lines added, giving us the impression this is being monitored somewhere (and it is).<br />
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<b>A Brighter Future</b></div>
Right at the beginning of the film, where we see the titular character, played by Robert Duvall, doing his job, Lucas has replaced a blurry, blue "video" image with an entirely new shot showing men all lined up in a factory. This new shot helps better establish where THX works: He's one of many on a production line. An ant in the colony.<br />
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Note: As with the rest of the article, the left image is from 1970, the right image is from 2004. The film's soundtrack remains the same across both versions, and the images shown below are what's seen in the two different versions at the same time, with the same soundtrack.<br />
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Unafraid of CGI as ever, Lucas replaces another shot of THX at work, with an intricate CGI of close-up of what he is building (ironically, although we don't fully know it yet, his job is to help construct the complex's robotic jailers -- yes, he's literally helping construct his own prison).<br />
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Lucas makes some minor modifications to the original shots next, making them match the previous shot by adding some CGI and grading them with a warm, orange hue.<br />
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After we leave THX, we are introduced to LUH <span style="background-color: white;">3417</span> (Maggie McOmie) and SEN <span style="background-color: white;">2541 (Donald Pleasance)</span>.<br />
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There are some significant changes here, but you probably wouldn't notice them. The biggest change is that SEN is no longer positioned next to LUH. In the 1970 version they were colleagues in the same department, sat next to each other, but in the later version SEN is somewhere else in the complex. This change is maintained throughout the 2004 edition, and it has a few effects. Originally it was implied that the repressed SEN developed a confused crush on LUH from working with her, which seemed quite innocent. In the 2004 version his infatuation comes from afar, and feels more sinister as a result.<br />
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Whenever we see LUH in long shot (and so would have seen SEN next to her), the 2004 version replaces him with anonymous workers, inserted with footage almost indistinguishable from the original (see below).<br />
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In addition to this, more anonymous workers are shown in the background, making LUH's entire department seem bigger. Another effect of both of these changes is that LUH seems just as anonymous and powerless as THX. (The original cut gave the mild impression that she was in a position of authority compared to THX, overseeing everyone else.)<br />
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Additionally, if you look closely (click to see full size) new controls are added to everyone's desks, and a few new monitors have been added. A small detail you may not notice is the addition of the base of LUH's chair. It doesn't mean anything, of course, it just shows the attention to detail that's been applied to the 2004 edition.</div>
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Keeping with the idea that SEN is in a different part of the complex (making the world feel bigger), a shot of LUH looking over at SEN is replaced with a shot of bank of monitors in the 2004 version.</div>
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After this comes our first really big divergence from the original cut.<br />
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In 1970, the sequence unfolded thusly:<br />
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First we cut to THX at his job.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiw5MrlHTfBnQ0oEdPJjMkeNWiCsn5R3jBecLkRlkbhjTVrNpHAsR2jevBXekWHrijm_mqIE4srBy1XeDq5zBE4H-ibQe2rZ4g6w12ySUp4PXZW6HfL0SsXg-In8c7M6k3NCso2oFSu4rA/s1600/6-1a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="142" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiw5MrlHTfBnQ0oEdPJjMkeNWiCsn5R3jBecLkRlkbhjTVrNpHAsR2jevBXekWHrijm_mqIE4srBy1XeDq5zBE4H-ibQe2rZ4g6w12ySUp4PXZW6HfL0SsXg-In8c7M6k3NCso2oFSu4rA/s320/6-1a.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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Then back to LUH and SEN monitoring THX, which then changes to them responding to a consumer complaining about a product he's bought.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUghc3nlzF__4hUIuJ7SwnbST5CJxGd6RNp8XKNGZN9GYK22Fd64QfFZihWGf4vyn6MCZsprGWC-ds0RxgpU1DLah3ayfC_T6LCvC9xPPu3iIdq-XHcD6bv1kvYr_P-vmWaBEOx7kFyvU/s1600/6-1b.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="142" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUghc3nlzF__4hUIuJ7SwnbST5CJxGd6RNp8XKNGZN9GYK22Fd64QfFZihWGf4vyn6MCZsprGWC-ds0RxgpU1DLah3ayfC_T6LCvC9xPPu3iIdq-XHcD6bv1kvYr_P-vmWaBEOx7kFyvU/s320/6-1b.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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LUH presses a button and he's informed that, for "greater enjoyment and efficiency", his product will no longer do the thing he wants it to.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQTwLHQsBctAcz0f-pEHTL2E0J42I2Gcsiuvm0_aa7V6c0VoW5f5l8HqA3-wogUtop1Jb5HzJS8S0VzognvMxjDRp_Nrwi4bMFPxreKwRmhZRYxTkE7DLK3F9I35a-h9_ElhpqRAunWcQ/s1600/6-1c.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="142" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQTwLHQsBctAcz0f-pEHTL2E0J42I2Gcsiuvm0_aa7V6c0VoW5f5l8HqA3-wogUtop1Jb5HzJS8S0VzognvMxjDRp_Nrwi4bMFPxreKwRmhZRYxTkE7DLK3F9I35a-h9_ElhpqRAunWcQ/s320/6-1c.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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With the consumer being taken care of, we then see footage of "illegal sexual activity" being beamed into the monitoring station, and SEN's childlike reaction to it.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKNb50_klVRFX1AQpsqrkwI5OqX9jbjfuF8u1UrrsYQBigfwm6hmZ1LHRLxVP_pjwDpvIL1LhZeOsuAqyIFwveNlwpFFZ_LXMqWeSRdPES6mSQvIug8HeISoO8mNFh5aThDlLAC2rJanc/s1600/6-1d.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="142" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKNb50_klVRFX1AQpsqrkwI5OqX9jbjfuF8u1UrrsYQBigfwm6hmZ1LHRLxVP_pjwDpvIL1LhZeOsuAqyIFwveNlwpFFZ_LXMqWeSRdPES6mSQvIug8HeISoO8mNFh5aThDlLAC2rJanc/s320/6-1d.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5OkmB70SSnknXT9NACVESRZLI6dzrgSVPaSB-jJAV06_B0DYkKq962OBJpH1zVn2e2ZmIkl0AK71ImlqWKFNVBRovdbkctQVA3M83Fcob5MdIdSV0E_8Nx463z_Cgn45zA1MoZKonoQw/s1600/6-1e.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="142" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5OkmB70SSnknXT9NACVESRZLI6dzrgSVPaSB-jJAV06_B0DYkKq962OBJpH1zVn2e2ZmIkl0AK71ImlqWKFNVBRovdbkctQVA3M83Fcob5MdIdSV0E_8Nx463z_Cgn45zA1MoZKonoQw/s320/6-1e.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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We then cut back to THX's work (showing that he's literally constructing this prison's jailers -- the security robots which maintain order in the complex). We also see that he's apparently in some distress.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGUfTWrFbxYAinyZTJPgS3s0CWc0UZXw_sCq0qFjJ2sg2cshbW81sXAxye33ISr4uVR-VDtd5IhH8hrUjjeUTcMQANX-4D_iw8CeP3txNpza2edhH0915dE1M2lrQShcG0KAIMZFBMr9s/s1600/6-1f.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="142" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGUfTWrFbxYAinyZTJPgS3s0CWc0UZXw_sCq0qFjJ2sg2cshbW81sXAxye33ISr4uVR-VDtd5IhH8hrUjjeUTcMQANX-4D_iw8CeP3txNpza2edhH0915dE1M2lrQShcG0KAIMZFBMr9s/s320/6-1f.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeYsReGc9TPcFNbffX1L6yUD7nWUdqcgI7a8g94RyA8973bMzhTf8NM0y60sDodereAC-IoJ3eu9QJqCb_jTSq5NHqc1xXrhpiy99N-lH-rzs9w6k4TanM0jNyZO6syklUYjnaB5X6LwU/s1600/6-1g.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="142" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeYsReGc9TPcFNbffX1L6yUD7nWUdqcgI7a8g94RyA8973bMzhTf8NM0y60sDodereAC-IoJ3eu9QJqCb_jTSq5NHqc1xXrhpiy99N-lH-rzs9w6k4TanM0jNyZO6syklUYjnaB5X6LwU/s320/6-1g.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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We drift back across a bank of monitors in the monitoring station, this time they show a child poking around in a medicine cabinet, with an automated voice stating, "If you feel you are not properly sedated, call 348-844 immediately. Failure to do so may result in prosecution for criminal drug evasion." We then see LUH looking maternally at the monitors.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJpwBI8oria3VEOSi1KVfxlSXYfEkVALLh4y6KnQWEkxEemAR7ASvXilmj-Rwj6V7R0T9SoniftaGhr6NqzDdjqTE73CBnu3wvY39d2fXdzzNsUCRCpHMOIOAYt6ExMksim-kUly73-NE/s1600/6-1h.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="142" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJpwBI8oria3VEOSi1KVfxlSXYfEkVALLh4y6KnQWEkxEemAR7ASvXilmj-Rwj6V7R0T9SoniftaGhr6NqzDdjqTE73CBnu3wvY39d2fXdzzNsUCRCpHMOIOAYt6ExMksim-kUly73-NE/s320/6-1h.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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This editing highlights the lyrical "tone poem" style of the original cut, pulling us into the film's weird world, as the characters go through a typical day. It's quite hypnotic and effective, but Lucas apparently felt it was lacking in focus. Indeed, the only thing we can infer from the above sequence is that LUH and SEN work together in some sort of monitoring station, and that THX is in some sort of distress. We get a sense of their personalities, but not of their motivations.<br />
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In the new cut, the above sequence is changed:<br />
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We start with SEN viewing some computer monitors with THX and LUH on them. Why he's watching them, we don't know, but he looks menacing, and this establishes him as a dubious figure at best.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzDfaNMz6EaNKsspJcQhWnYG2FnLtYXJZ8_6aMLn5u5lzFFUVDiho1xUyxcQkj1ubnNj_TRMkwMechT7zswjO1FCNe42_h2x9ACTFpN_KXVTxF8q248OQkTJrEVmI_zEHJ20hPhEBR1To/s1600/6-2a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="142" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzDfaNMz6EaNKsspJcQhWnYG2FnLtYXJZ8_6aMLn5u5lzFFUVDiho1xUyxcQkj1ubnNj_TRMkwMechT7zswjO1FCNe42_h2x9ACTFpN_KXVTxF8q248OQkTJrEVmI_zEHJ20hPhEBR1To/s320/6-2a.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBDAiLcoRCuiqtfe3FcyOx1L1nwEq0rEQ7k19c21Gwi4_BqGQyY7f_CPzbnzdW7BTvZcbLM8o_E9uBoPdDtXK_zSJ9HmzJxorAdYVa3i9aYBsaWiVMgqVo7wrmpw6XkK3jVBgDMqdAxZw/s1600/6-2b.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="142" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBDAiLcoRCuiqtfe3FcyOx1L1nwEq0rEQ7k19c21Gwi4_BqGQyY7f_CPzbnzdW7BTvZcbLM8o_E9uBoPdDtXK_zSJ9HmzJxorAdYVa3i9aYBsaWiVMgqVo7wrmpw6XkK3jVBgDMqdAxZw/s320/6-2b.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEmsBkRkFOx5QjgQPsaIfl41FvL7jQquzOloUKDXf3mmWJBbdVFqkVIylfIdvoC0ktiCg1hMq6bQK-hn8_Vr9P3gysXO516TqL1YUOIWD_xTMB1OQCm3leFuyni9t1oOR6hGAYNNadAyQ/s1600/6-2c.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="142" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEmsBkRkFOx5QjgQPsaIfl41FvL7jQquzOloUKDXf3mmWJBbdVFqkVIylfIdvoC0ktiCg1hMq6bQK-hn8_Vr9P3gysXO516TqL1YUOIWD_xTMB1OQCm3leFuyni9t1oOR6hGAYNNadAyQ/s320/6-2c.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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We then go back to LUH at her monitors, where she's also apparently watching THX at work. (Note the added green lights behind her -- a minor change.)</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiK5z0VytMB3RuEbjHhLflhAtJAkljrkkPE0B5qbiGdAXOGceEBdOw6DHj0AVKX36cJPEaJeOER8Hwr2ubMMyXs8OBx6sE31W4accSiGR1z2vPQvFConfbIdqnDNC2g_M6tktnj3z6Dp9Y/s1600/6-2d.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="142" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiK5z0VytMB3RuEbjHhLflhAtJAkljrkkPE0B5qbiGdAXOGceEBdOw6DHj0AVKX36cJPEaJeOER8Hwr2ubMMyXs8OBx6sE31W4accSiGR1z2vPQvFConfbIdqnDNC2g_M6tktnj3z6Dp9Y/s320/6-2d.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiM1uG1iZDeQnAc5YrT7o3VmOV27ZFd9ZODyVpv8ubSO94ja0Ue7zhxJu6y3OoITIEYsURUySS00b760NjqEpuOCagePEoMozV38VXqgLtu4idOdohFbRWXfgUGQ5m0jKQm5hxgWRNYBhs/s1600/6-2e.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="142" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiM1uG1iZDeQnAc5YrT7o3VmOV27ZFd9ZODyVpv8ubSO94ja0Ue7zhxJu6y3OoITIEYsURUySS00b760NjqEpuOCagePEoMozV38VXqgLtu4idOdohFbRWXfgUGQ5m0jKQm5hxgWRNYBhs/s320/6-2e.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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Then we cut to THX at his job.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcj1A2ZUYSgQesyuinqTqtIBzKTdlNYUn6tMDa1LZJFqgmyZzM5tKrS7vQmhJm_qHAlE2Wgy8BFLgVMXhqsWp07hVbHZRLskIu8rIlMKcbWLhIrelHUZxg0QH3za2moBZVFazqwLAtHho/s1600/6-2h.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="142" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcj1A2ZUYSgQesyuinqTqtIBzKTdlNYUn6tMDa1LZJFqgmyZzM5tKrS7vQmhJm_qHAlE2Wgy8BFLgVMXhqsWp07hVbHZRLskIu8rIlMKcbWLhIrelHUZxg0QH3za2moBZVFazqwLAtHho/s320/6-2h.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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Then back to LUH monitoring THX (and in keeping with what I said before, SEN has been replaced from the original shot), which then changes to her responding to a consumer complaining about a product he's bought.</div>
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LUH presses a button and he's informed that, for "more enjoyment and greater efficiency", his product will no longer do the thing he wants it to.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJ_aUWYFNClFaSV_HWAhiuow6c_X811-cB1m53tkFM5H1lJwlE295rgGJqaqDOiVn45cckDQlzalGwTrgxRPJj1mLU5-sBZtPS65L7vosW1al8hgQd_Qd4laP34Y6pBZS1_VCp8Y0CnOI/s1600/6-2i.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="142" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJ_aUWYFNClFaSV_HWAhiuow6c_X811-cB1m53tkFM5H1lJwlE295rgGJqaqDOiVn45cckDQlzalGwTrgxRPJj1mLU5-sBZtPS65L7vosW1al8hgQd_Qd4laP34Y6pBZS1_VCp8Y0CnOI/s320/6-2i.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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We then cut to a new CGI shot of THX's workplace (replacing the first shot in the old version), and then see him apparently in distress.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqh_uGH_5Hvg9oW3XaFvBcfdpOVfpt5uixzmi8vhyphenhyphena42klnbOtI8ZtWFcP13EqfpaG0yJbnic3clqpNJytyHXc4pxEBIO5uJPp5NrzFslZUwOEnFjJHBDS9vZEFsm5pP9t2SSJbmWnVdY/s1600/6-2j.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="142" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqh_uGH_5Hvg9oW3XaFvBcfdpOVfpt5uixzmi8vhyphenhyphena42klnbOtI8ZtWFcP13EqfpaG0yJbnic3clqpNJytyHXc4pxEBIO5uJPp5NrzFslZUwOEnFjJHBDS9vZEFsm5pP9t2SSJbmWnVdY/s320/6-2j.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhluD9QMka71ebnZENIAkkxTah7dNXmqwleQtH8mhbUoojMyPs-PCG-dVsx3_iyGEseUdbfXofl9OG1Ulq76tP7BDVKSIojVnrV9Pa_qmNTwI2PkEuy9m87cM0CubygbvD5WTTY8Oho7lo/s1600/6-2k.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="142" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhluD9QMka71ebnZENIAkkxTah7dNXmqwleQtH8mhbUoojMyPs-PCG-dVsx3_iyGEseUdbfXofl9OG1Ulq76tP7BDVKSIojVnrV9Pa_qmNTwI2PkEuy9m87cM0CubygbvD5WTTY8Oho7lo/s320/6-2k.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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We drift back across a bank of monitors in the monitoring station, this time showing a child poking around in a medicine cabinet, with an automated voice stating, "If you feel you are not properly sedated, call 348-844 immediately. Failure to do so may result in prosecution for criminal drug evasion." We then see LUH looking maternally at the monitors.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi32NLYcnilGaGP5DxGkEKkaE_TMfqpVRjTiGu8IlovOnV1zrOu7deJhKohrUjRdXCgFxwfNMIAH3H_2a27WTMuAfXUtg0kOtJlZ5HRtF-UM21ftUmYmgJlKSj2orEXZsXP_MxVDyKLnDo/s1600/6-2l.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="142" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi32NLYcnilGaGP5DxGkEKkaE_TMfqpVRjTiGu8IlovOnV1zrOu7deJhKohrUjRdXCgFxwfNMIAH3H_2a27WTMuAfXUtg0kOtJlZ5HRtF-UM21ftUmYmgJlKSj2orEXZsXP_MxVDyKLnDo/s320/6-2l.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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We then cut to THX at work again, before cutting back to LUH looking bored at work.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuumdhL3_L_g4d0rZwAb6aHkZ704HF0e6_60v9JvcQpCWHlKZMI10QFrTYvRvxoOphuc6xuSDejTR3ORlpSHKW6CIjxd8MD-hIR5aPz-G07kQovC0URIar0nbXbs__haVQuYlcSRIErPU/s1600/6-2m.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="142" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuumdhL3_L_g4d0rZwAb6aHkZ704HF0e6_60v9JvcQpCWHlKZMI10QFrTYvRvxoOphuc6xuSDejTR3ORlpSHKW6CIjxd8MD-hIR5aPz-G07kQovC0URIar0nbXbs__haVQuYlcSRIErPU/s320/6-2m.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnWYjQ8CMX7sIeezNXMYeRUKCv1mEYrR-GKWqoZiaaOkBbl9A9SEOb1T2IDlauqdrNqZ5okdF3JLhH59T4sTErMIxP8g5vufL3f5rhLsj7B7ht5sJ2WkP4IqAhgven2fl_KmMXDsQesN0/s1600/6-2n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="142" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnWYjQ8CMX7sIeezNXMYeRUKCv1mEYrR-GKWqoZiaaOkBbl9A9SEOb1T2IDlauqdrNqZ5okdF3JLhH59T4sTErMIxP8g5vufL3f5rhLsj7B7ht5sJ2WkP4IqAhgven2fl_KmMXDsQesN0/s320/6-2n.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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Now we see the "illegal sexual activity", but instead of showing SEN's reaction to it, we see LUH's.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhow4Jv0V6tBzSACxjvYTLOtlMdKWzCxBQdWPKIOqh6aa9nHahd3el_FNVkUKcwX-SW-3Sag2U24YXXCSQ17ohBgUywYMk9PKCPtjlC9DKv04Z1z35J-O2dJb97okjGYK6oF3TyVgkXpQ/s1600/6-2o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="142" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhow4Jv0V6tBzSACxjvYTLOtlMdKWzCxBQdWPKIOqh6aa9nHahd3el_FNVkUKcwX-SW-3Sag2U24YXXCSQ17ohBgUywYMk9PKCPtjlC9DKv04Z1z35J-O2dJb97okjGYK6oF3TyVgkXpQ/s320/6-2o.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9RRjlFe7SORwAhyphenhyphen9rcQsF7rvVb5MJ1_D9itzg_o3UYT5-wsYP_xg30jn8zjTR1FPwYwYEJJDZgkfCHPADx2x30m-R7TH9txqKMi49FJqKe3pT7thtCIX15uaU6vbKvCJlBGf_hueueDA/s1600/6-2p.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="142" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9RRjlFe7SORwAhyphenhyphen9rcQsF7rvVb5MJ1_D9itzg_o3UYT5-wsYP_xg30jn8zjTR1FPwYwYEJJDZgkfCHPADx2x30m-R7TH9txqKMi49FJqKe3pT7thtCIX15uaU6vbKvCJlBGf_hueueDA/s320/6-2p.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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She looks confused, and then she suddenly she jolts to life as sirens start going off. (At this point both versions then converge on the "radiation leak" sequence.) </div>
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In the new edit, we now have more things to mentally chew on: SEN is apparently monitoring both LUH and THX. Is he in a position of power over the both of them? Is he infatuated with them? Is he suspicious of them?</div>
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LUH apparently works in some sort of call center, helping those who need assistance, rather than in a position of security. She also has some reason for monitoring THX (could it be personal?), and seems more emotional than the world around her. </div>
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We see THX is in distress, as before.</div>
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It's a more traditional introduction to the main characters than the 1970 version, but it's still very unusual.</div>
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The last shot of LUH watching the sexual activity also shows that perhaps something isn't quite right insider her, either, and she looks seriously perturbed at the sound of an alarm going off. Not nearly as emotionally dead as the world around her.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigFweufe_RKUTNdYg8TUawWPczQQoUZCqOzvU02NttDQi5vsCxTq8BOMIoP_PpmiSWFjCFkHU4SrOPaht4BrN8QYTRWVT1mLV7I3qH9Y5xrLhw3y5RtSHYSLEeHDpZrXCbICnhsDiuStA/s1600/6-2q.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="142" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigFweufe_RKUTNdYg8TUawWPczQQoUZCqOzvU02NttDQi5vsCxTq8BOMIoP_PpmiSWFjCFkHU4SrOPaht4BrN8QYTRWVT1mLV7I3qH9Y5xrLhw3y5RtSHYSLEeHDpZrXCbICnhsDiuStA/s320/6-2q.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<b>Radiation Leak</b><br />
Just as soon as both versions converge, we diverge again. Lots of new footage was added for the radiation leak sequence in the 2004 edition. The 1970 edition starts off with the following montage:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKPtFh4MSHFH25iI0dsEWUyQgagJjTjk4HM0kyW8MsuMy9Xl6IsexLhNHANnJGQUV0zi1LqpUpn_OkYGnwkPzHpVDcYvXIIP1IG5o8spPByGhjS9IZgt5DeYvlYKN03X2GXHUJFPs5Ezw/s1600/7-1a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="142" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKPtFh4MSHFH25iI0dsEWUyQgagJjTjk4HM0kyW8MsuMy9Xl6IsexLhNHANnJGQUV0zi1LqpUpn_OkYGnwkPzHpVDcYvXIIP1IG5o8spPByGhjS9IZgt5DeYvlYKN03X2GXHUJFPs5Ezw/s320/7-1a.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjImm6yKIksp7k_XFvGuQ8h8zsOsQT62FjXfpoBStelw_mw_1hDZ4wnham6qmOrn4FsQdJ_o72c80WpgOTlW0e60FunbhCBdbj-zsIktsW2Yf5tqFy5-BOaiOZVQ6Pp5sCPm7RYAPIYNHw/s1600/7-1b.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="142" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjImm6yKIksp7k_XFvGuQ8h8zsOsQT62FjXfpoBStelw_mw_1hDZ4wnham6qmOrn4FsQdJ_o72c80WpgOTlW0e60FunbhCBdbj-zsIktsW2Yf5tqFy5-BOaiOZVQ6Pp5sCPm7RYAPIYNHw/s320/7-1b.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhynrvB24-8CWrfbIEax6dluTDVOED_oXFGP-XwniBZ9HV1E1qgQC5QS6fNI6HcRR2ZUpLZCJ0zfk0gLf8XFNEj179Qn2_vA9T9Y0R-d-s19r6TlcKOo3DFx8i0qxeI3LptO1mOII1Nt4I/s1600/7-1c.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="142" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhynrvB24-8CWrfbIEax6dluTDVOED_oXFGP-XwniBZ9HV1E1qgQC5QS6fNI6HcRR2ZUpLZCJ0zfk0gLf8XFNEj179Qn2_vA9T9Y0R-d-s19r6TlcKOo3DFx8i0qxeI3LptO1mOII1Nt4I/s320/7-1c.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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We then see a series of explosions through the eyes of these monitors.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwwktmhQE3ZYUyNqoAMTnfBWLyYqAbgtgaSQJa8ecQu7ioLZdJ-L2v945xvVzCzIl_lXuniE3uRuEA7latqQJmT6msnR27QJgCmGH_Y6VjI6pUHc_Q27I43ROW8HN5bYrYQTQ14TKS1_0/s1600/7-1d.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="142" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwwktmhQE3ZYUyNqoAMTnfBWLyYqAbgtgaSQJa8ecQu7ioLZdJ-L2v945xvVzCzIl_lXuniE3uRuEA7latqQJmT6msnR27QJgCmGH_Y6VjI6pUHc_Q27I43ROW8HN5bYrYQTQ14TKS1_0/s320/7-1d.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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The 2004 version changes this:<br />
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We begin with the monitors, but now there's lots of new footage on them, of people fleeing the meltdown.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYQYGTST35Gw8fM_g2kbbDK0MtNv5fYjs1hC3jDPqlXU9VhEHfCvWrPUimlEb1aAcrlR6T3gIk9Wx3_kg2sW6sQ94g5YLbXDW-XTTpjPdETco5C8coeJPTimtSfrcBnV6PTUKbZaW7l_0/s1600/7-2a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="142" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYQYGTST35Gw8fM_g2kbbDK0MtNv5fYjs1hC3jDPqlXU9VhEHfCvWrPUimlEb1aAcrlR6T3gIk9Wx3_kg2sW6sQ94g5YLbXDW-XTTpjPdETco5C8coeJPTimtSfrcBnV6PTUKbZaW7l_0/s320/7-2a.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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We now also see LUH's reaction, apparently affected by all the deaths in the way those around here are not. (Note the added lights in the background have now turned red.)</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguh5lKSZQFxSQECgxesmI9WG-6Yp2W8yy7KdIc_uFeXSn42t1qE3sW5HyfDck-moBJuulbTO7lUjF7DDZbkuS2jHxXZLo_bCWSgv3yvpZkmD_erKS6JWj50wS9swX6huLgjAJMAl750Os/s1600/7-2b.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="142" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguh5lKSZQFxSQECgxesmI9WG-6Yp2W8yy7KdIc_uFeXSn42t1qE3sW5HyfDck-moBJuulbTO7lUjF7DDZbkuS2jHxXZLo_bCWSgv3yvpZkmD_erKS6JWj50wS9swX6huLgjAJMAl750Os/s320/7-2b.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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A completely new shot.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZ7ki82RI0KctqHZsThboTVsyIQxPLnFJfzoZnImdmyYhK29eZHYVZACCWFp9sF2O8C-r3QBIi4tSlrJCR51mu5kVT_73aLQ752Fne1YNJ-Kgln-_TmnMiv7YOwyrUJsvpHfohK3RbVYE/s1600/7-2c.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="142" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZ7ki82RI0KctqHZsThboTVsyIQxPLnFJfzoZnImdmyYhK29eZHYVZACCWFp9sF2O8C-r3QBIi4tSlrJCR51mu5kVT_73aLQ752Fne1YNJ-Kgln-_TmnMiv7YOwyrUJsvpHfohK3RbVYE/s320/7-2c.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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Then both versions re-converge again:<br />
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Same shot, but now there's new footage on the left monitor.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgg8d0Ngss_NpgCev5w7MWv22T5_FbLHmSG3b_isE3jpcbmy9vaEH7EjIAL7CRnDT7frKMyVI5vOCflqoXrhCsfkqDpYGQd4e0NZh-cKQtIXTunYq6r7S4P0mrcpT7QpoFFGGXwsg_noHw/s1600/7-3a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="142" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgg8d0Ngss_NpgCev5w7MWv22T5_FbLHmSG3b_isE3jpcbmy9vaEH7EjIAL7CRnDT7frKMyVI5vOCflqoXrhCsfkqDpYGQd4e0NZh-cKQtIXTunYq6r7S4P0mrcpT7QpoFFGGXwsg_noHw/s640/7-3a.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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More people and detail are added behind THX, expanding the world.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeeRDF_vPBHNPciegShJPdlxsOPMP6SjLab_YlTekAzHknTS1nsvZwh0QZQRIxhwgrj07O4GGDerEqdzSaeOI9aNLX5ibfpUWFy6KHyWcETf0taLQdkVcFgVl0KqZrh06R7KcKEEXnq9I/s1600/7-3b.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="142" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeeRDF_vPBHNPciegShJPdlxsOPMP6SjLab_YlTekAzHknTS1nsvZwh0QZQRIxhwgrj07O4GGDerEqdzSaeOI9aNLX5ibfpUWFy6KHyWcETf0taLQdkVcFgVl0KqZrh06R7KcKEEXnq9I/s640/7-3b.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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The next two shots are identical in both versions, but are included for completeness.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQjrpy4u4DWV6lNbq48zmqJDu8sjIS6Gxs-WsXLCR2C1O54AjkAjlBM5e7uuJA2F8m2jp0CGvEeBE_tx5dVnX8inygaETVo1hBqQX3fDriNw49OncFAaRdnVbHr4LgXk9A2qd3yWVt77Y/s1600/7-3c.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="142" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQjrpy4u4DWV6lNbq48zmqJDu8sjIS6Gxs-WsXLCR2C1O54AjkAjlBM5e7uuJA2F8m2jp0CGvEeBE_tx5dVnX8inygaETVo1hBqQX3fDriNw49OncFAaRdnVbHr4LgXk9A2qd3yWVt77Y/s640/7-3c.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKceys5OxCteVw7lm5cJhCP9J08JEt2fOHs1G_Ur7Hx2wkeOf_JHcdpBztxebVDX-__Vh2stxmWqJI-cuFgQX4xf9zPwnkrilMwGqGK2-SkecpUyghdhLpkAKSAz9kkY3L-ZNJQ9OeXkU/s1600/7-3d.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="140" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKceys5OxCteVw7lm5cJhCP9J08JEt2fOHs1G_Ur7Hx2wkeOf_JHcdpBztxebVDX-__Vh2stxmWqJI-cuFgQX4xf9zPwnkrilMwGqGK2-SkecpUyghdhLpkAKSAz9kkY3L-ZNJQ9OeXkU/s640/7-3d.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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The next change happens when LUH glances over to her right (green lights again!)...<br />
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...to a shot of SEN looking back at her. This has been replaced with her watching THX amid the explosions in the other sector for the 2004 edition.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJTHXC1lQ4LxEDTP_bAjmxjSymdGc2F7v3wRS7Py4l2tg_RFufUVvaFPs2tU-Of3DblXB2DUL6iIHYQtWfVwDxSqclQImmD9xCOsWRuha62rOudQcn4yCX5UGl3jjrViyLXjm6jST5cr8/s1600/7-3f.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="142" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJTHXC1lQ4LxEDTP_bAjmxjSymdGc2F7v3wRS7Py4l2tg_RFufUVvaFPs2tU-Of3DblXB2DUL6iIHYQtWfVwDxSqclQImmD9xCOsWRuha62rOudQcn4yCX5UGl3jjrViyLXjm6jST5cr8/s640/7-3f.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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The next shots just add more detail and depth to THX's working environment (and to Lucas's credit, it's very well done).<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFXDRTsQlqOiI8yGTg3uDc0Lvda9Khlg8Mseo_CBD34eFyPadEVrUUyW0mbAr9Ehfv-n5QR3vfLD57s_rlptwBzDQW_1Mh69rl7Xe51dHAX1cDC4sykNfH3TE7EPWA4CRP_Pb2PNSvx0s/s1600/7-3g.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="142" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFXDRTsQlqOiI8yGTg3uDc0Lvda9Khlg8Mseo_CBD34eFyPadEVrUUyW0mbAr9Ehfv-n5QR3vfLD57s_rlptwBzDQW_1Mh69rl7Xe51dHAX1cDC4sykNfH3TE7EPWA4CRP_Pb2PNSvx0s/s640/7-3g.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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Most of these changes increase the sense of danger and scope of the meltdown, but there's also more of a feeling that LUH is emotionally affected by these deaths, and that she is especially concerned about the well-being of THX.</div>
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Both versions juxtapose the brutality of the leak with the cold and emotionless reaction by the rest of the complex. Yes there was an explosion, lots of people died, but your shift is over now. See ya 9am tomorrow!</div>
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<b>Shift Over... It's Shoppy Time!</b></div>
The next scenes plays out the same in both versions, but with some world expanding and aesthetic changes made for the 2004 version:<br />
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THX leaves work, goes shopping for a random red object, and then, apparently burdened by something, goes to "confession" with the computerised religious figure, OMM. During his unburdening to the emotionless OMM, he reveals that he and his "partner" seem to be having problems, but he doesn't know why.<br />
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These are the only visuals that are changed (some of them are very clever in how they use the original footage -- look closely -- but they only increase the size of the world, or help establish a more cohesive world aesthetic).<br />
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<b>Coming up in Part 2: Robert Duvall goes home and watches porn.</b></div>
Johnny Walkerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13302545167970532080noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1570525113758995236.post-30275886252050367462013-03-03T20:24:00.007+00:002020-11-08T02:05:00.524+00:00Patton Oswalt's Deleted Scene from "Die Hard"<b>Patton Oswalt</b> used to have a MySpace profile, and way back when, he posted this little treat for <i>Die Hard </i>die hards (like myself). His profile, and his blogpost, have long been deleted, but I found a copy and thought I'd repost it here, for posterity. I've added photos to help you remember which of the characters he's referring to. I even asked for his blessing and got it.<br />
<br />So here it is. It's just a bit of fun. I hope you enjoy it!<br />
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Keep up to date with the hilarious Patton Oswalt at his website: <a href="http://www.pattonoswalt.com/">http://www.pattonoswalt.com/</a> <div>(If you think this is funny, you haven't seen anything yet!)<br />
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">INT. – CONFERENCE ROOM – DAY</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">HANS GRUBER, German criminal mastermind, meets with a crew of international, professional thieves.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiX9lK7DtXxww4CEZ2LFbND7KjgCG0SQtTtHgn5sKRKngp85wEK2M9zhBuuJuZtu6kNlQJ9XXCitfILo0qo2I9lOEFSvJChvs03T6FHkezY6yiLutg_RDQRm1iaUUdaz_xHam8vE_pzJAQ/s1600/Hans.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiX9lK7DtXxww4CEZ2LFbND7KjgCG0SQtTtHgn5sKRKngp85wEK2M9zhBuuJuZtu6kNlQJ9XXCitfILo0qo2I9lOEFSvJChvs03T6FHkezY6yiLutg_RDQRm1iaUUdaz_xHam8vE_pzJAQ/s1600/Hans.jpg" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: courier;"><span face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">HANS GRUBER</span><br />
<span face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">Thank you all for coming. I trust your respective flights were uneventful.<span style="color: #0b5394;"> </span></span><br />
<span>(He reads from a Filofax)</span><br />
<span face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">Your presence indicates to me that each of you has reviewed my plan for the Nakatomi heist, and that you've agreed to participate. You will each receive a generous share of the $640 million in negotiable bearer bonds we will steal from the vault.</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: courier;"><span face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" style="text-align: center;"><br /></span>
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<span style="font-family: courier;"><span face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" style="text-align: center;">THEO</span><br />
<span face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">Hate to speak out of turn, but I had a question about that.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: courier;"><span face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">MARCO</span><br />
<span face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">We all did, as a matter of fact.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiX9lK7DtXxww4CEZ2LFbND7KjgCG0SQtTtHgn5sKRKngp85wEK2M9zhBuuJuZtu6kNlQJ9XXCitfILo0qo2I9lOEFSvJChvs03T6FHkezY6yiLutg_RDQRm1iaUUdaz_xHam8vE_pzJAQ/s1600/Hans.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: courier;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiX9lK7DtXxww4CEZ2LFbND7KjgCG0SQtTtHgn5sKRKngp85wEK2M9zhBuuJuZtu6kNlQJ9XXCitfILo0qo2I9lOEFSvJChvs03T6FHkezY6yiLutg_RDQRm1iaUUdaz_xHam8vE_pzJAQ/s1600/Hans.jpg" /></span></a></div>
<span style="font-family: courier;"><span face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">HANS</span><br />
<span face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">Oh?</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIRJDslZgBgMhPyQrdwA0pZWxuAlIBgdrm5YlqXMlBN6q0gZz7LwDA5ZYEJIpY_qgMJcKo4Bz6twJAu8XpRdCyZijuIZrbPX7NyS9_KSyDv5ujwKepYskC6zwN9_UsQ2fnXuWcXhWlgq8/s1600/Theo.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: courier;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIRJDslZgBgMhPyQrdwA0pZWxuAlIBgdrm5YlqXMlBN6q0gZz7LwDA5ZYEJIpY_qgMJcKo4Bz6twJAu8XpRdCyZijuIZrbPX7NyS9_KSyDv5ujwKepYskC6zwN9_UsQ2fnXuWcXhWlgq8/s1600/Theo.jpg" /></span></a></div>
<span style="font-family: courier;"><span face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">THEO</span><br />
<span face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">Yeah. And since I'm the one with the charming personality, I'll elect myself group spokesperson.</span><br />
<span>(he turns to the Karl and Tony)</span><br />
<span face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">Guten tag?</span><br />
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<span>They both cock their heads, confused.</span></span><div><span style="font-family: courier;"><br />
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<span style="font-family: courier;"><span face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">HANS<br />They're Swedish.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: courier;"><span face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">THEO<br />Oopsie. I keep forgetting. I owe you guys a Swiss Miss.</span><br />
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<span style="text-align: center;"><br /></span><span style="text-align: center;"><br /></span><span style="text-align: center;">Uli eyes a bowl of M&Ms in the middle of the conference table. Eddie watches Uli intently.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: start;"><span style="font-family: courier;"><span style="text-align: center;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: courier;"><span face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">EDDIE</span><br />
<span>(under his breath)</span><br />
<span face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">C'mon…c'mon, just take one.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: courier;"><span face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">ULI</span><br />
<span face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">I heard that.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: courier;"><span face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">EDDIE</span><br />
<span face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">Well, you've been eyein' them candies ever since you got in here.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: courier;"><span face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">ULI</span><br />
<span face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">Well, I'm a nervous eater. I've got a wicked sweet tooth when I'm nervous.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: courier;"><span face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">HANS</span><br />
<span face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">What is there to be nervous about?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: courier;"><span face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">THEO</span><br />
<span face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">Well, there's one hole in the plan. At least, there's one detail you've left out.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: courier;"><span face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">HANS</span><br />
<span face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">Every conceivable detail has been paid attention to.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: courier;"><span face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">THEO</span><br />
<span face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">Except the electromagnetic lock on the vault. You know I can't crack it. None of us can.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: courier;"><span face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">HANS</span><br />
<span face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">I've got that all figured out.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: courier;"><span face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">THEO</span><br />
<span face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">Well, could you maybe share it with us? That's what we're all nervous about. We like the whole blowing the roof to cover our escape, and the driving away in the ambulance during all the confusion.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: courier;"><span face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">KARL</span><br />
<span face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">But we've all invested a lot of time and money, not to mention many of us have traveled a long way.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: courier;"><span face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">MARCO</span><br />
<span face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">All the way from Italy, in my case! I am almost out of my favorite cigarettes!</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIRJDslZgBgMhPyQrdwA0pZWxuAlIBgdrm5YlqXMlBN6q0gZz7LwDA5ZYEJIpY_qgMJcKo4Bz6twJAu8XpRdCyZijuIZrbPX7NyS9_KSyDv5ujwKepYskC6zwN9_UsQ2fnXuWcXhWlgq8/s1600/Theo.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: courier;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIRJDslZgBgMhPyQrdwA0pZWxuAlIBgdrm5YlqXMlBN6q0gZz7LwDA5ZYEJIpY_qgMJcKo4Bz6twJAu8XpRdCyZijuIZrbPX7NyS9_KSyDv5ujwKepYskC6zwN9_UsQ2fnXuWcXhWlgq8/s1600/Theo.jpg" /></span></a></div>
<span style="font-family: courier;"><span face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">THEO</span><br />
<span face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">So we need you to tell us exactly how you'll crack the electromagnetic lock.</span><br />
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<span><br /></span><span><br /><br /></span><span><br /></span></span></div><div><span style="font-family: courier;"><span>Hans stares everyone down. This is a crucial moment, and will decide whether these sober, risk-averse professionals will proceed.</span></span></div><div><span style="font-family: courier;"><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiX9lK7DtXxww4CEZ2LFbND7KjgCG0SQtTtHgn5sKRKngp85wEK2M9zhBuuJuZtu6kNlQJ9XXCitfILo0qo2I9lOEFSvJChvs03T6FHkezY6yiLutg_RDQRm1iaUUdaz_xHam8vE_pzJAQ/s1600/Hans.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: courier;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiX9lK7DtXxww4CEZ2LFbND7KjgCG0SQtTtHgn5sKRKngp85wEK2M9zhBuuJuZtu6kNlQJ9XXCitfILo0qo2I9lOEFSvJChvs03T6FHkezY6yiLutg_RDQRm1iaUUdaz_xHam8vE_pzJAQ/s1600/Hans.jpg" /></span></a></div>
<span style="font-family: courier;"><span face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">HANS<br />I would much rather surprise you with the solution during the heist.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: courier;"><span face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">THEO<br />You're serious? All of this build-up, and we're going to have to take it on faith you've got it worked out, plus be excited about it being a surprise?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: courier;"><span face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">HANS<br />Yes.</span><br />
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<span>Everyone stares at Hans, then at each other. This does not look good.</span><br />
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<span>Then:</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: courier;"><span face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">KARL<br />Okay!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: courier;"><span face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">THEO<br />Yep! I think I speak for everyone when I say a surprise might be kind of fun!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: courier;"><span face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">MARCO</span><br />
<span face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">It's worth the risk!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: courier;"><span face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">HANS<br />I'm so pleased.</span><br />
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<span>Uli finally steps back from the M&Ms. He doesn't take one.</span></span></div><div><span style="font-family: courier;"><br />
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<span style="font-family: courier;"><span face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">KARL</span><br />
<span>(to Eddie)</span><br />
<span face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">Told you.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYdNcMwfgyoA1kB2EA8tFvgZEERvJCeltOfpiFJkHa1EoN_g552iFwGtdIk5uyw-eNrEXgXZ6VkU6vr58Yvmp2le0N72jMfUUu6lUXarKUJpNZHihyphenhyphenu-D2-B0PrN7C1libAbOzI4_cID0/s1600/Eddie.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: courier;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYdNcMwfgyoA1kB2EA8tFvgZEERvJCeltOfpiFJkHa1EoN_g552iFwGtdIk5uyw-eNrEXgXZ6VkU6vr58Yvmp2le0N72jMfUUu6lUXarKUJpNZHihyphenhyphenu-D2-B0PrN7C1libAbOzI4_cID0/s1600/Eddie.jpg" /></span></a></div>
<span style="font-family: courier;"><span face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">EDDIE</span><br />
<span face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">Damn, I had fifty bucks on this guy.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">He hands a fifty dollar bill over to Karl, and everyone leaves the room.</span><br />
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<b>Nerd Alert!</b></div>
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Excuse me while I geek out a bit. I ended up reading the script, and as it turns out, this particular issue <i>was </i>covered...</div>
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<pre style="font-size: 14px;"><b>VAULT ROOM - 31ST FLOOR 73
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Hans and Theo enter the safe room. The huge corporate safe
looms in front of them. Theo places three kit bags onto a
table and rolls up his sleeves. He swivels a computer console
into handy reach, sits down.
<b> HANS
</b> How long?
<b> THEO
</b> Thirty minutes to break the code...
Two hours for the five mechanicals.
The seventh lock...that's out of
my hands.
<b> HANS
</b> If our plan works...the FBI will
get rid of it for us.</pre>
<pre style="font-size: 14px;"></pre>
<pre><pre style="font-size: 14px;"> Theo grins, begins typing.</pre>
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<div arial="" font-family:="" helvetica="" sans-serif="" style="text-align: left;">
But the line was cut, presumably to keep the audience in the dark, so it's possible they did discuss the plan -- <i>but we didn't see it</i>. Well, that could have been the case if it wasn't for this exchange (also from the original script)...</div>
<pre><pre style="font-size: 14px;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: small; white-space: normal;">
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</span><pre style="font-size: 14px;"><b>293 INT. VAULT ROOM - NIGHT 293
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Hans and Theo lean over a monitor watching a DWP truck near
the parking garage.
<b> THEO *
</b> (tapping the screen)
There's the city engineers...they're
going into the street circuits...But
who are these guys in the suits?
<b> HANS
</b> That's the FBI...ordering them to cut *
the building's power. They're as
regular as clockwork...or a time lock...
ON Theo's look:
<b> HANS
</b> ...the circuits that cannot be cut...
are cut automatically in response to
a terrorist incident...You ask for
miracles, Theo...I give you the FBI...
<b> THEO
</b> When you're hot, you're hot.</pre>
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<span face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">(I'm glad they cut Theo's last line!)</span><br />
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<span face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">So it seems that this little inconsistency was introduced as part of a rewrite, or at least that's the only reasonable explanation I can think of for having</span><span face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"> Theo be completely in on the plan in one scene, but still need it explained to him later. I seem to recall McTiernan saying during his commentary that the script wasn't finished when they started shooting. I guess it's stuff like this that he was referring to.</span><br />
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<span face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">Whatever the reason, I do think it works better the way it happens in the film. Yes, it's not quite logical, but it's much more of an enjoyable moment for the audience when the plan's cleverness is revealed... which leads directly into the "joyous" moment that McTiernan was so keen on getting when the vault finally opens.</span><br />
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<span face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">As he explains it: In <i>Die Hard</i>, the villains are the protagonists, and McClane is the antagonist. As such, we need to feel their joy when they get what they want. It's an usual twist, but it works brilliantly, and our excitement probably would have been dampened if we knew exactly what was coming.</span></div>
</div></div>Johnny Walkerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13302545167970532080noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1570525113758995236.post-22891044467388899122012-11-14T22:16:00.004+00:002015-02-04T00:17:13.396+00:00The "Raiders of the Lost Ark" Story Conference Tapes [ebook edition]When the <a href="http://mysterymanonfilm.blogspot.co.uk/2009/03/raiders-story-conference.html">"Raiders of the Lost Ark" Story Conference transcriptions appeared on the internet in 2009</a>, I was absolutely overjoyed. To be given the opportunity to see inside the writing process of one of the most iconic movies from my childhood was a wondrous thing. The only downside was that it was only available in PDF format, and a lot of e-readers, like mobile phones and Kindles aren't great when it comes to PDFs.<br />
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That's why I decided to put it in an e-book format for easy reading!<br />
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I've created two versions:<br />
<b>ePub</b> - for iPhones, iPads and other e-readers that can handle the ePub format<br />
<b>Mobi</b> - for Kindle users<br />
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<b>Latest version 1.2</b> - Fixed a (another) ton of typos! (Should be pretty solid now.)<br />
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<a class="file" href="http://www.thunderpeel2001.com/files/RaidersStoryConference.epub">epub</a>
<a class="file" href="http://www.thunderpeel2001.com/files/RaidersStoryConference.mobi">mobi</a>
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<br />
Simply take your pick!Johnny Walkerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13302545167970532080noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1570525113758995236.post-59168581893225356182012-06-03T14:10:00.002+01:002015-02-04T00:17:24.752+00:00Thoughts on Prometheus<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<b>The excitement I felt before watching <i>Prometheus </i>was probably the most I'd felt since I bought my ticket to see the last <i>Indiana Jones</i> movie. Being a huge fan of Ridley Scott, the original <i>Alien</i>, and of Damon Lindelof's writing (via <i>Lost</i>), I couldn't wait to see what these three ingredients produced when mixed together.</b><br />
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Sadly, as I walked out the cinema, all my excitement had been replaced by disappointment. Yes, it was <i>Kingdom of the Crystal Skull</i> all over again.<br />
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<i><b>Update:</b> I watched Prometheus a second time and had a different reaction. My new reaction is at the bottom. </i><br />
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The film is beautiful, no argument there. Scott's technical prowess as a director is perfectly on display. The story itself touches on some interesting areas: Questions about belief, religion, and humanity's origins, seem timely and apt. Michael Fassbender does a great job as this movie's android, David.<br />
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The broader strokes of the movie are quite interesting, and the ending, from the "Ripley" character's point of view, was satisfying. But...<br />
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(Be warned: <i>Spoilers dead ahead!)</i><br />
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<b>A beginning is a delicate time...</b><br />
Actually, one of the first things that leaps to mind is how few surprises there were in the film. The very first scene explicitly reveals what the "Engineers" look like, so their later appearance is not a surprise. Another early scene explains precisely what the mission hopes to find, so that when they eventually do, it's also no longer a surprise.<br />
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I have to say that I found both of these to be baffling choices. The second one can be explained because it gives a reason for certain character to be onboard (the surprise guest -- but that only begs the question: <i>Why </i>was that guest on board? It did nothing for the story, but I'll get to that later). I really would have imagined that the scientific discovery would have been an interesting twist for the audience. Instead it's hinted at in the poster, the trailer, and spelled out right at the beginning of the film itself.<br />
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Speaking of which, if you've seen the goosebump-inducing trailer for <i>Prometheus</i>, you'll also be know that certain things from <i>Alien</i> will make an appearance at some point. They surely could have been wonderful surprises, too, but instead, as the movie drags, you'll find yourself starting to become impatient for them to appear (and wait you will, they only arrive at the very end).<br />
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Along with the lack of surprise and mystery, you don't feel any empathy for any of the characters, despite having 17 to choose from. In fact, this large amount of characters hurts our relationship with them: We never get to know <i>any </i>of them particularly well.<br />
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This larger crew smacks of something that's felt a few times throughout the film; More money = bigger, shinier everything. The ship feels bigger. The rooms cleaner. The technology flashier. I don't know if this was intentional, but overall it lacks the claustrophobic, "used" feeling that Scott tried to so hard to convey in <i>Alien</i>.<br />
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Really it's hard not to believe that the crew should have been reduced to the smallest possible number needed to tell the story effectively. At it stands, we see glimpses of interesting relationships, but they never go anywhere. For example, the clash between the button-down scientist and the unsociable, volatile geologist, felt interesting and dramatically fruitful, but it's all over before it's begun.<br />
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Even the film's "Ripley" character is somewhat difficult to empathise with. Arguably worse still is the fact that the crew never feels like a cohesive whole. You could contend that this is because they don't know each other before the mission begins, and that's true, but even by the end it's unclear what their relationships are. (How does the captain feel about Noomi Rapace's character? Theron's? Fassbender's? I have no idea.)<br />
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The film has plenty of Scott flourishes (the captain, like Dallas in <i>Alien</i>, enjoys music recognizable to modern listeners), but there's just no substance.<br />
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One screenwriting technique I've read about involves reading through your script once for each of your characters, in order to make sure they have a satisfying arc. I can't think of <i>one</i> character that managed to reach this goal.<br />
<br />
<b>That's illogical, Captain...</b><br />
The next big issue with the film is simple character motivation and logic. We often don't understand why a character is doing something. <br />
<br />
For example, when the crew first land on their new-found planet, there are members of the exploration team with a healthy fear for what they're discovering. When one of the members decides to take off his helmet, against all common sense, after being told the air is breathable, he is rightfully chastised by those around him.<br />
<br />
But soon afterwards, the rest of the team follow suit, even those who are fearful about what they've discovered. It's one thing for a "believer" to risk catching alien space-flu (it's very much a "John Locke-ism"), but it seems to go against everything we know about the other characters. So why would they risk it? We're never given a reason. <br />
<br />
Later on, a pair of characters get lost in the alien spacecraft. Again, this appears to make no sense. For a start, we can see everyone's position clearly on the ship's 3D map (very cool, by-the-way), and they apparently have perfect communications with those on board, so why didn't they get in touch and say, "We're lost, tell us which way to go"? What's even more baffling is that one of these lost characters is introduced as being the most <i>au fait</i> with the mapping technology, and explores caves for a living using said technology. Surely he should be the <i>last</i> member of the crew to lose his bearings?<br />
<br />
Yet another example is when Noomi Rapace finally discovers what she's been hoping to find. It's possibly the greatest scientific discovery in human history, and yet nobody in the ship seems particularly bothered, including her. Surely the news would spread like wildfire through the small crew? On Earth, it would make the lead story on the evening news, but for the people who discovered it, they don't seem to care. Even <i>she</i> doesn't run and tell her own research partner.<br />
<br />
This odd character decision leads to a frustrating scene where we have to watch a character learn something we've just seen another character learn. Surely repeating information to the audience is uniformly understood to be a bad thing? One thing is certain, it impedes the flow of the story. This same problem happens several more times with different bits of information. It's baffling.<br />
<br />
<br />
In terms or production, one also has to wonder why in Guy Pearce was in the film, and not some elderly actor (Peter O'Toole? -- well maybe, Christopher Plummer?). Surely it wasn't just so he could do the TED talk? I'm not even sure why his <i>character</i> was in the film, to be honest. I can only presume the film was trying to say something about humans being sometimes more robotic than their robotic creations (the daughter was arguably colder than David). Or perhaps something about how our relationship with our creators shapes who we are? Unfortunately, like most ideas and themes in the film, it's never fully fleshed out.<br />
<br />
<b>They should have sent a poet...</b> <br />
All of these issues pale in light of the film's biggest problem, though: It's just not a satisfying story. The crew explore the alien world, they could back to the ship, they go back to the alien world, they go back to the ship. It's every bit as dull as I just made it sound. There's no clear sense of what the threat is, what people's motivations are, or what the "rules" of the world are (so we can gauge the cause and effect of their decisions).<br />
<br />
Story strands are left unresolved, seemingly to deliberately try and spread more mystery into the world, and possibly leave some options for a sequel, but they're just not that interesting. I don't really care who or what the Big Head was supposed to represent. I don't really care what the grey goo supposedly does. Or what the worms are. Or what was in the grey cannisters. Or why sometimes they were lined up on their sides, or why they were sometimes laid out like the eggs in <i>Alien</i>. <i>But I could have</i><i>.</i><br />
<br />
Even the immediately interesting questions regarding science versus religion, faith versus evidence, staples of <i>Lost</i>, and clearly within Lindelof's talented writing grasp, aren't explored to their full potential.<br />
<br />
<b>KHAAAAAN!</b><br />
As I said at the beginning, I haven't felt this disappointed in a film since <i>Kingdom of the Crystal Skull</i>, and in both cases you'd be tempted to blame the scriptwriter, but really, you can't blame anyone but those who had final say. Just like George Lucas, Ridley Scott is powerful enough to not make a film until he's happy with the script. One can only presume that Lindelof saw this as Scott's project, and did his best to take Scott's ideas and turn them into something better than they were before. It's understandable that Lindelof would want to make Scott happy, it was his job, but Scott, as talented as he may be, is not a scriptwriter.<br />
<br />
From Scott's point of view, you have to imagine he was very happy with it. As a director, the script gave him plenty of exciting opportunities to flex his visual muscles, but for the rest of us, it was lacking.<br />
<br />
I still love and respect both Scott and Lindelof, and I look forward to seeing what they do next, but this was a remarkable disappointment from two remarkable people.<br />
<br />
<b>Update:</b><br />
So sure was I that I was going to enjoy <i>Prometheus</i>, that I made plans to see it a second time before I'd watched it the first. As such I was forced to sit through it again, lest I'd let down the person I'd agree to watch it with. Against all my expectations, though, I actually kind of enjoyed it the second time.<br />
<br />
Yes, I was surprised, too.<br />
<br />
This second viewing allowed me see it more for what it is, rather than what I wished it was. And guess what; the film kept my attention and entertained me throughout. Yes, most of the above complaints were still there (nng!), but they didn't completely ruin the experience this time around.<br />
<br />
My best advice for those who have somehow missed <i>Prometheus</i> so far: Don't go in expecting <i>Alien</i>, and try and avoid watching the trailer if you can!Johnny Walkerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13302545167970532080noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1570525113758995236.post-64287671894418614702012-01-30T22:06:00.000+00:002020-01-01T22:27:43.554+00:00A closer look at Serenity -- Why didn't it save Firefly?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwnsg0_o4wDICSc-uK0U5EQ0e1zMTEL95YbPCX__XTcjRtx53oEDuzZcm98U5LZq7AxbeU1zZlX1LO9MtwGAznBa-gOfz-rI76Ye0_QhUqvK1jKa7VbxGmRBr4gkTkXDAflxgGlEi27Do/s1600/Firefly.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="181" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwnsg0_o4wDICSc-uK0U5EQ0e1zMTEL95YbPCX__XTcjRtx53oEDuzZcm98U5LZq7AxbeU1zZlX1LO9MtwGAznBa-gOfz-rI76Ye0_QhUqvK1jKa7VbxGmRBr4gkTkXDAflxgGlEi27Do/s320/Firefly.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<b>After the Fox TV network lost faith in the show they'd ordered and coldly watched it die, both fans and the cast and crew of </b><b><i>Firefly </i></b><b>were heartbroken, but the good vibes surrounding the show were strong enough for the almost-impossible to happen: A major feature film was made.</b><br />
<br />
<i>Serenity</i> was creator Joss Whedon's vision, pure and unfiltered (for the most part), without any of the meddling executives. Unlike Fox, Universal actually <i>wanted</i> to see more <i>Firefly</i>.<br />
<br />
The feature film version (named, for legal reasons, <span style="font-style: italic;">Serenity</span> after the central ship), was an opportunity for everyone who believed in the show<span style="font-style: italic;"> </span>to prove the world (and especially Fox), that it shouldn't have been cancelled, that its universe <i>did </i>hold widespread appeal. Fans on both sides of the camera hoped that this could be the new <span style="font-style: italic;">Star Wars</span>. Some wryly speculated that its success might even spawn a TV spin-off...<br />
<br />
Except none of that happened.<br />
<br />
Despite garnering critical praise and winning numerous awards, <span style="font-style: italic;">Serenity </span>was a flop at the cinema, and, although DVD sales helped put the movie into the black, they weren't high enough to create interest in a sequel.<br />
<br />
Initially there were some grumbles about how the film had been marketed, but after all this time, was that the only reason it failed to set the world alight? Were there flaws within the film itself?<br />
<br />
After recently working my through all 14 episodes of the <span style="font-style: italic;">Firefly </span>TV series, and falling in love with it all over again, I viewed the film with fresh eyes, made a few notes... and came to the conclusion that, yes, I think there may have been a few issues with the movie itself.<br />
<br />
Note: This isn't a "review" of <i>Serenity</i>, it's a critical look at what I see as its major faults, with a specific focus on how someone new to the <i>Firefly </i>universe might perceive them (it was them who needed to be won over, after all). And while the film <i>did</i> successfully convert me to a <i>Firefly</i> (and Joss Whedon) fan, it never managed to cross-over to a larger market, and I wanted to know why.<br />
<br />
Here's what I see as the film's undeniable problems... <br />
<br />
<br />
<b>Best. Opening. Ever.</b> <br />
<br />
Ok, so this is the opposite of a problem, but watching the film again for this piece, it struck me how <span style="font-style: italic;">Serenity</span> has just about the best opening 10 minutes of any sc-fi film ever. It's smart, gripping, exciting, it's near perfect. After it's finished, the title appears, and a wonderful, lifting score kicks in. It's goosebump city.<br />
<br />
A portion of the audience has already decided that this film is utterly amazing (I was in that portion). Just as you think it can't get any better, a chunk of metal flies off the spaceship, and with a quick cut, before we can even laugh, we see the Captain turn to his pilot. "What was that?" And so begins the story proper. And so, unfortunately, do the problems.<br />
<br />
We're introduced to our protagonists, the crew of Serenity, through a long scene without any cuts. According to writer/director Whedon, this was done to try and give the audience a sense that they were on "solid ground" after all that jumping around in time and space. In other words, this ship just got real. (Sorry.)<br />
<br />
I love continuous takes as much as the next continuous takes fan, but there's a time and place for them, and this one doesn't really work for a number of reasons. For a start, it didn't make <i>me</i> feel on "solid ground". It's actually very frantic, we're pummelled with lots of information, and lots of camera movements. That could be fine by itself, but definitely doesn't do what Whedon <i>hoped </i>it would.<br />
<br />
There's a bigger problem as a result of this shooting choice, however, and that's the fact that we don't get all the information we need. Dramatic moments do not have much available film language with which to give them any weight. You can't cut to someone's reaction, for example, you can only swing the camera around as fast as you can. With film, the camera should be part-narrator, helping to tell the same story the actors are.<br />
<br />
Using long takes seems to work best when you're in a scene where you know who everyone is, and what the stakes are going in (see <i>Crimes and Misdemeanors</i>), but it definitely works against you when you're trying to impart lots of information. You can't easily inform the audience about what's important, and what's non-essential (but amusing) chit chat, and it's possibly because of these limitations that the Simon and Mal confrontation doesn't work as well as it should. It's a great moment on paper, but it doesn't work for someone new to the characters because the film language doesn't give any indication of its importance.<br />
<br />
Also, rather unfortunately, the ADR work on the scene (where actors dubbing their lines in a studio afterwards to hide the clomping the camera crew in the background) was very poorly done, making us feel even less "connected" to what's happening. (The opposite of what Joss said he wanted.)<br />
<br />
And unfortunately the problems are just the beginning for the newbies...<br />
<br />
<b>The Chase Sequence</b> <br />
<br />
Our first major force of conflict appears, they are known as "Reavers". We don't know anything about them, but in order for them to be a legitimate threat the audience has to believe one thing: The Reavers are a very real and very terrifying danger. Even if you're a group of fully-armed war-vets and mercenaries, it's pant-wetting time. The audience <i>needs</i> to believe this for not only the chase sequence to work, but also for the story to work as a whole. After they've been introduced, the idea of meeting one again should haunt the audience.<br />
<br />
Whedon attempts to sell this necessary fear in a simple (and you might say, classic) way: If all the characters are scared at the mere mention of Reavers, then not only must they be something worth being scared of, but it's left up to the audience to decide exactly why.<br />
<br />
This can be a very effective trick, as I'm sure we all know. A viewer's imagination can tailor a movie monster's menacing qualities to their own idiosyncratic fears, in theory creating a scarier threat for themselves. All it takes is a sense of creeping danger to get audiences' creative fear-juices flowing...<br />
<br />
Unfortunately, when the Reavers appear, the viewer is completely in a comfort zone: A bank-heist that's actually going well, and is highly amusing to boot. There's no real sense of threat, and no reason to believe the characters can't handle anything the universe throws their way. It's even broad daylight, in a populated area. There's nothing to help germinate a sense of fear in the audience (although I think Whedon was hoping the jump from funny to fearful would be unsettling).<br />
<br />
Outwardly there's even less to fear: Our heroes carry guns, while the Reavers are apparently too feral for that. We're never actually shown how ineffective four people with guns could be against a horde of Reavers. Hell, we never even <span style="font-style: italic;">see</span> a horde of Reavers, we only really see about three, but surely guns could take them out?<br />
<br />
We also don't actually know how tough our characters are. If we'd already seen them kick ass against a terrifying foe, but then act afraid of Reavers, we may be able to gauge that this new enemy was a very serious threat (this is how they were introduced in the series). But we don't. Our protagonists have only tackled a group of country-bumpkins, and since they've just committed a crime, it's natural to think that they'd like to leave ASAP anyway, Reavers or no Reavers.<br />
<br />
This lack of terror hurts the movie immediately, and is felt so strongly that, when we see a townsman run towards our gang, begging to be taken with them, my immediate thought was not, "He wants to get away from the Reavers", it was, "Poor guy, stuck on this backwoods world, wants to go on space adventures with some space bandits". (I did get what Whedon wanted me to get, just not immediately.)<br />
<br />
And the damage continues: In the ensuing chase sequence, our heroes are escaping from... what? A bunch of stunt men in make-up? A ship covered in red paint? It's hard to feel emotionally involved because we have no reason to feel our protagonists are in any real danger. Also, it's not very well directed, sad to say. (Joss Whedon is apparently very aware of début directorial short-comings on the film's Blu-ray, admitting he'd completely re-shoot the whole scene if he could.)<br />
<br />
The chase's climax is also falls limp; Our hearts should already be pounding when a final bit of flaming debris nearly slices Mal in two (this "second shock" trick worked brilliantly in <i>Die Hard</i>), but not only is our heart beating calmly, but the debris looks far too flimsy as it bounces along the deck. It's a huge shame, as the script is tight and the story beats are good.<br />
<br />
We're then back on Serenity, with the crew and their ill-gotten gains, and we've learned a lot about the characters and their relationship to one another, that's good. (Watchers of the original series will have note that Mal has returned to his infinitely more interesting "hardened" self from the original pilot.)<br />
<br />
Unfortunately there's one more problem...<br />
<br />
<b>The Bar Fight</b> <br />
<br />
In a bar, that classic Western/sci-fi staple, we learn that the successful bank-heist has turned somewhat sour. Mal is being forced to give up 15% of his crew's earnings, but in an odd editing choice, we're not allowed to hear the justification as to why. A few words from his shady employers explaining that they're taking the extra percentage <span style="font-style: italic;">simply because they can</span>, would have been all that was needed, and indeed this dialogue <i>was</i> filmed, but it was cut (presumably in order to try and make the viewer focus more on River -- a controversial choice).<br />
<br />
So we're left wondering what's going on, why the one plot thread they've been introduced to has been yanked out of earshot, when River suddenly gets "activated". The inevitable bar fight ensues.<br />
<br />
Although Summer Glau's flexible fighting skills are incredible, the brawl itself doesn't emotionally engage with the audience because there's no context: Why are the people in the bar fighting with her? If they're under threat, why aren't people trying to escape?<br />
<br />
When Luke Skywalker had his scuffle with the ugly man with the death mark on three systems, the rest of the bar acted in a way we could understand: Avoid a fight, hope it will go away on its own. In <i>Serenity</i> it becomes a Wrestlemania cage fight for no apparent reason. <br />
<br />
I'm fairly certain that the idea was supposed to be that a dispassionate and indiscriminate killing machine had just been released into a public space, but once again there's not a sense of immediate danger because the exit appears to be available to everyone in the bar, and hardly anyone is shown making a break for it. If these people want to stay and fight and get their asses kicked, then you can't help but feel that's their problem. Sure, some people try and leave, but the set design and direction never makes us feel as though River is holding people these people against their will: A lot of them seem to be attacking <i>her</i>.<br />
<br />
What are we supposed to be feeling here? Are we supposed to feel bad for the patrons as River is taking them down? (Are they all
thugs? Are they normal tax payers looking for a quiet night out? Do they want to escape? If they want to fight, why do they want
to fight? Out if pride? Out of ego? Out of a desire to prove how manly
they are? Out of self-defence? For the enjoyment of a battle? To see if
they could best her? We don't know.)<br />
<br />
Compare this again with the cantina in <span style="font-style: italic;">Star Wars</span>. That venue had a vibe. You expected trouble there. You felt like you knew the patrons, that they
weren't faceless nobodies. You could probably can imagine how they would react in this situation. Can anyone say the same about the patrons of the <i>Serenity</i> bar? Were they hard-working, innocent miners looking for a drink after a long day drilling? Were they all smugglers and bandits making shady deals? Were they deadly mercenaries? We don't know: They were just more
stuntmen in generic costumes.<br />
<br />
This confusion about who is attacking who and why is a shame because it hurts the final shot of the fight; Mal slowly putting down his weapon, his heart racing. This would have worked much better if it we'd felt he was in danger against his will. Instead we're wondering why this cold, selfish man didn't run out the bar's open exit. (Although it's possible he was trying to protect the patrons of the bar, it doesn't seem to be in keeping with his character -- although maybe I'm wrong there.) This problem isn't as bad as the audience not fearing the Reavers, but it also wasn't as engaging directed as it was written, and so another opportunity to engage the audience was lost.<br />
<br />
Either way, the audience <i>should</i> have had two big jolts of adrenaline at this point in the movie. They should also be secretly hoping that the Reavers aren't going to come back.<br />
<br />
If they'd had those things, I think the film would have been largely fine at this point. Everything would have been set up so the subsequent story turns would have had all the weight and resonance they needed.<br />
<br />
Well, apart from one other minor hiccup before we reach the end: Shepherd Book.<br />
<br />
Everyone unfamiliar with <i>Firefly</i> had no idea who the hell he was, and it felt like we should have (I was one of them). The scene with Mal and Book was pointless and weird, and didn't help explain who this man was or why the crew were there. Or what his relationship with them was. But hey, that's pretty minor compared to these other problems.<br />
<br />
(Note: Shepherd Book was originally on Serenity throughout the film, and it was another unknown character they sought refuge with. When Whedon was forced to write Book out of the story, it made sense to switch the characters -- the crew did have a relationship with him, after all. At least for fans of the show -- those new to the party were wondering why such weight was given to his scenes.)<br />
<br />
<b>The Ending</b> <br />
<br />
Ok, I lied. There is actually one final big problem: The triumph of the protagonists is not something we, the audience, can easily relate to. Consider, once again, the final battle in <span style="font-style: italic;">Star Wars</span> or <i>The Matrix</i>. When our heroes win, we feel their victory, we feel their triumph. In <i>Serenity</i>, their (most obvious) successes are felt by unknown people across the universe. People we don't care about. Our heroes survive, but they also suffered serious losses, and this "down" feeling is what we're left with. Yes, I believe that more people felt and related to Zoe's pain, than Mal or River's salvation.<br />
<br />
<b>You big whiner! So you're saying <i>Serenity</i> failed as a movie?</b><br />
<br />
Absolutely not, at least not for fans of the series. Upon watching it an additional time for this blog post (to make sure I wasn't totally wrong about the problems I'd identified), I noticed that it actually works as a perfect ending for the series itself.<br />
<br />
For the first time I saw really Mal's story. And not Mal's story from the beginning of the film, but his story from the beginning of the series. In the very first scene of the series, we watch Mal lose all faith as he has everything he believes in taken away from him. In the final scene of the film, we see man restored, optimistic about the future, with something to <i>believe in</i> again. (And, aptly enough, the first episode of the show shares the title of the movie.)<br />
<br />
This layer means that the passengers we watched Mal take onboard at the beginning of the series, Simon, River, and Book, actually held the key to his own personal salvation. This character arc is in the film, but Whedon buried it deep.<br />
<br />
If you missed it, consider Shepherd Book's dying words. A man of faith talking to a man without any: "I don't care what you believe. <i>Just believe it</i>."<br />
<br />
Likewise, thanks to River, Mal discovers a truth that leads to him finally seeing something bigger than himself (self-obsession is usually the cause of nihilism). By the end of the film he's a whole person again, his heart no longer dead.<br />
<br />
In the process of re-developing his own belief system he shatters that of his nemesis, The Operative, who is the ultimate nihilist. (His final words, after Mal tells him he'd better not see him again, "You won't. There is nothing left to see.")<br />
<br />
River also finds her salvation through Serenity, finally finding peace at the end of the film thanks, not just to the love of her brother, and the family she's found on the ship, but to Mal for helping her excise her demons (in the original script it's made clear that a large part of her mental problems stem from the horrible truth about Miranda). <br />
<br />
<i>Serenity</i> is Mal's and River's story, of how they saved each other, and if there's ever a sequel, we'll be seeing a different side to them than we've ever seen before. (Note: There's never going to be a sequel.)<br />
<br />
In this way, it's actually an utterly fantastic and rewarding script. But we knew the problem was never going to be on the page, didn't we?<br />
<br />
<b>But...</b><br />
<br />
Unfortunately it took me five watches to see Mal's journey. As a first-time viewer I wasn't left with a sense of joy, or even success, it was pain and loss. Hell, it wasn't even bittersweet. Our losses as a viewer were too great, and the gains too small, too hidden. Joss cut us too deeply to notice the salve he tried to apply. And yes, Wash's death is a big part of that.<br />
<br />
(Interestingly, Whedon justifies his decision to kill Wash on the <i>Serenity</i> Blu-ray commentary, making the point that if the audience is upset, it means he did the right thing. The obvious response to that is: <i>Dear Joss, if you killed off Willow, you would probably have to go into hiding. That doesn't mean it's the right thing to do -- it just means you made us </i><u><i>care</i></u><i>. Signed, Everyone.</i>)<br />
<br />
Wouldn't you have just loved the movie even more if Wash and Book survived? I know I would have. And indeed that's exactly what happened in Whedon's original 190 page "kitchen sink" version of the script (available online, <i>Firefly</i> fans!). And don't forget that Whedon revealed that he had every intention of resurrecting both characters if there was a sequel. (There won't be a sequel.)<br />
<br />
That original script also featured this wonderful piece of dialogue between Zoe and Simon, that really helps the audience become aware that Mal's spiritual salvation is an important part of the story:<br />
<br />
<div align="center" style="font-family: courier, courier new;">
SIMON</div>
<div style="font-family: courier, courier new; margin: 0 auto; width: 305px;">
You were in that same war. But<br />
you live almost like a person<br />
might; you have an actual<br />
relationship — a marriage. You<br />
didn't turn into some... Gorgon...</div>
<br />
<div align="center" style="font-family: courier, courier new;">
ZOE</div>
<div style="font-family: courier, courier new; margin: 0 auto; width: 305px;">
I'm career Army, my whole family<br />
is. I was already in when the war<br />
started. Mal volunteered. He<br />
joined the fight because he<br />
believed. He believed his planet<br />
should be left alone. Believed we<br />
would win if we gave our hearts to<br />
it, that his generals wouldn't lay<br />
down arms while his men were still<br />
dying around him... that God would<br />
help us in our darkest place.<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: courier, courier new; text-align: left;">
She cinches a knot tight, moves to the next body.</div>
<br />
<div align="center" style="font-family: courier, courier new;">
ZOE<br />
(continuing)</div>
<div style="font-family: courier, courier new; margin: 0 auto; width: 305px;">
See, that's the difference between<br />
Mal and me. All I ever lost was a war.</div>
<br />
So, when all is said and done, we finally have a complete understanding as to why we won't be seeing any more Firefly: <i>Because the executives at Fox sold us all down the river.</i><br />
<br />
The end.<i> </i>Johnny Walkerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13302545167970532080noreply@blogger.com35tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1570525113758995236.post-85798119644028894322011-09-07T23:32:00.000+01:002011-11-25T07:49:33.165+00:00So you want to go to Hollywood?<div style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyb61vTUJXK8cjIQMy3S7uSRuQJR3ataW5qZramD62hSIo25VO1KtVbgGbdjXW60g_0wzdopar9Qz02ZDrgTZKwl9QQMgm7pID66JKgdW9_MtzNEq84RKY_aRT8oK-7V80J7_EH0gtK6A/s1600/campbell.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyb61vTUJXK8cjIQMy3S7uSRuQJR3ataW5qZramD62hSIo25VO1KtVbgGbdjXW60g_0wzdopar9Qz02ZDrgTZKwl9QQMgm7pID66JKgdW9_MtzNEq84RKY_aRT8oK-7V80J7_EH0gtK6A/s1600/campbell.jpg" /></a></div>
<b>This questionnaire is something I read on Bruce Campbell's website 10 years ago. I found it so thought-provoking that it has stayed with me all this time.</b><br />
<br />
I recently wanted to show it to a friend but was dismayed to discover it was no longer to be found on the internet. Thankfully, after some jiggery-pokery involving The Wayback Machine (a website hosted over at Archive.org), I was able to retrieve a copy.<br />
<br />
I think it deserves to be preserved and, if you've ever entertained notions of working in the dream factory known as Hollywood, contemplated.<br />
<br />
I hope you find it as interesting and provocative as I did.<br />
<br />
Top tip: There's no wrong answers, so be honest with yourself.<br />
<br />
<b>Visit Bruce Campbell at: <a href="http://www.bruce-campbell.com/">www.bruce-campbell.com</a>. Also, buy his books!</b><br />
<hr />
<i><br />To all good people contemplating a leap into the frigid waters of the entertainment industry, please read the attached questionnaire. I consider this to be a kind of litmus test for those of you with grand aspirations. Read, ponder, act...<br /><br />Best,<br /><br />Bruce "Mr. Know-It-All" Campbell</i><br />
<br />
<b>I aspire for a career in the film/television industry because:</b><br />
<br />
a) I need a quick million.<br />
b) I have personal problems and being rich and famous will solve them.<br />
c) I failed as a Clinical Psychologist.<br />
d) I've got show biz in my blood.<br />
<br />
<b>My ultimate goal(s) is(are):</b><br />
<br />
a) To win an Academy Award © or:<br />
___1) An Emmy.<br />
___2) A Star on Hollywood Blvd.<br />
___3) A trip to Disneyland.<br />
<br />
b) To be famous. I will be famous when:<br />
___1) I win a Peoples Choice Award.<br />
___2) I get recognized at my high school reunion.<br />
___3) Everyone on the planet knows and loves me.<br />
<br />
c) To be stinkin' rich. I will be rich when:<br />
___1) My phone stops getting cut off.<br />
___2) I can buy medicine for little Billy.<br />
___3) I can do a leveraged buyout of MCA and cast myself in anything I want.<br />
<br />
d) Both b and c.<br />
<br />
e) To be gainfully employed doing what I enjoy.<br />
<br />
<b>My main cultural influences are:</b><br />
<br />
a) Films where things blow up a lot.<br />
b) Nick at Nite.<br />
c) Literature.<br />
d) Life.<br />
<br />
<b>I hope to become involved in this type of project:</b><br />
<br />
a) Story-driven.<br />
b) Genre-driven.<br />
c) Forget it, Mom will drive.<br />
<br />
<b>I know I am talented because:</b><br />
<br />
a) Um, because my friends and loved ones say so?<br />
b) I know it in my heart.<br />
c) I received the "Ken and Barbie" award in high school.<br />
d) I have an extensive resume.<br />
<br />
<b>I define talent as:</b><br />
<br />
a) The ability to do one thing, really well.<br />
b) The ability to be mediocre at lots and lots of things.<br />
c) The ability to suck the chrome off a trailer hitch.<br />
d) The ability to make my friends think I'm cool.<br />
<br />
<b>My unique talent lies:</b><br />
<br />
a) In front of the camera - I want to act.<br />
b) Behind the camera - I want to direct...oh yeah, and write too...<br />
c) In front and behind the camera - I want to be a hyphenated person.<br />
d) Behind the Auto Parts store.<br />
<br />
<b>I define the success of a film by:</b><br />
<br />
a) How well it does at the Box Office.<br />
b) How well it is received by the critics.<br />
c) How hard everyone worked on it.<br />
d) How many good-looking women/men I met on the crew.<br />
<br />
<b>I will be successful when:</b><br />
<br />
a) I meet the right people.<br />
b) My new Hummer arrives.<br />
c) I own my own island.<br />
d) I get that tummy tuck for Christmas.<br />
e) Hell freezes over.<br />
f) Nonsense, I am successful now.<br />
<br />
<b>I will fail if:</b><br />
<br />
a) I don't meet the right people.<br />
b) Failure is not an option.<br />
c) Enough people tell me I will.<br />
d) The odds are too great.<br />
<br />
<b>The market price of my soul is:</b><br />
(hint: you will need to know this at some point)<br />
<br />
a) $1,000,000 in tax-free Municipal Bonds.<br />
b) 3 magic beans.<br />
c) I cannot be bought! My self-esteem is priceless!<br />
<br />
* Take this test before you ride the rails west.</div>
<blockquote>
<b>Hint: There are no right or wrong answers.</b></blockquote>Johnny Walkerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13302545167970532080noreply@blogger.com4